


Beautiful Darkness

by jediserenity82



Series: Beautiful Darkness [1]
Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: Depression, Drama, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Memory Loss, Multi POV, POV First Person, Romance, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-25 19:40:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 40
Words: 86,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3822412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jediserenity82/pseuds/jediserenity82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*This story is old - originally started in 2006 posted on ff.net and kotorfanmedia, and was completed in 2008. I have recently decided to continue with the sequel so I'm transferring this over as well as updating and fixing mistakes previously made.*</p><p>Love and beauty can still be found in the darkness of a tainted past. Starts off before the big reveal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

_-Alora-_

 

"Carth, set a course for Mannon."

Carth Onasi guided over to the Ebon Hawk's control console and punched in the coordinates for the rural water planet. "You got it."

We had already managed to recover the Star Maps from Dantooine, Tatooine, and Kashyyyk. Only two more to go until we received the location of the Star Forge. Everyone was on pins and needles at this point. And for good reason. We didn't really know what we were up against. We all had our different opinions of the mechanics of it. But the truth was, we had no idea.

During our time together, I had become especially fond of Mission Vao. She had an aura of innocence about her that anyone with a brain or heart would find endearing. But the streets of the recently destroyed Taris, her home world, had taught her well.

For a fourteen year old, the girl was brilliant. Slicing into computer terminals and breaking and entering, not something that I would normally condone, for anyone, was her forte. She had gotten us into places that, at the time, seemed impossible to penetrate. I constantly praised her for her talents and how much she was needed.

We found ourselves up late most nights, talking, playing rounds of pazaak, which I always let her win. We never played for credits. We connected in a sibling sort of way, although I was much older than she was, at the age of twenty-six. She would ask me questions about love, and boys, neither of which I knew much about. But she loved to listen to stories of intergalactic travel and adventure. She was quite oblivious about some of things. I found it refreshing, really. I always warned her, in a motherly sort of way, not to grow up too fast. Enjoy being a teenager while it lasted. It only got harder from there.

Canderous Ordo. I could never really figure him out. For the most part, he spent his time on the ship polishing his various pistols and carbon rifles. We had spoken a couple of times about his time during the Mandalorian Wars, but our relationship never really progressed anywhere beyond that.

Juhanai was an amazing Jedi and an example of what the Darkside of the Force would do to a mind. We had spoken about most of her past...how she had been accepted into the Jedi Order and about what she could remember of her family. But mostly, she apologized every time we spoke about her near fall to the Darkside, and attacking me in the Grove back on Dantooine.

Jolee Bindo. The grumpy old hermit from Kashyyyk. I found him very intriguing. I found myself conversing with him as often as I could, even though most of the time he shooed me away and found excuses not to continue our conversations. I would break him soon enough, however. I was good at that.

Bastila Shan was a completely different story. We had a bond that I didn't truly understand. We constantly shared visions of Revan and Malak and the Star Maps locations. But beyond that, there wasn't much that we had in common. She constantly bombarded me with lectures about the Darkside and how easily one could stray from the light path. Lectures of things I already knew to be cautious about. Although, recently, after we had talked to her mother on Tatooine and retrieving her dead father's holocron, things had changed. I guess I had, in a sense, gained her respect.

Then there was Carth Onasi, who had been with me since our escape pod crashed on Taris when the Sith had attacked our ship, the Endar Spire. The handsome pilot who could never trust anyone. I think I was beginning to win him over now, through good-natured banter and mild flirtation. Strictly platonic mind you. I enjoyed getting a rise out of him, but he was a smart man, he could easily turn the tables on me.

I don't know exactly what made me want to connect with Carth. I felt something in him. I sensed a lot of pain and heartache within him. I could tell that, once upon a time, he had to have been someone's best friend. And I guess that's what I thought he needed most. A friend. A confidant. A shoulder to lean on.

Currently, we sat alone in the cockpit in silence. Everyone else, I assumed, were in their sleeping quarters. I caught myself stealing sidelong glances at Carth. He was, in fact, a very handsome man. I couldn't help but notice. Jedi or not, most of all I was a woman. And I was allowed to look.

"What is it?"

His voice startled me from my thoughts. "Huh?"

Carth chuckled slightly. "You keep looking at me like you have something to say. So why not just come out and say it already?" He kept his brown eyes focused straight ahead.

"Actually, I would like to know why you want revenge on Saul so badly." I knew this could only lead to another argument, but I was always up for a good spar.

Carth groaned. "I told you already, didn't I? He betrayed us all."

I shrugged. "I don't know, it just seems like there's something more personal to it than that, is all."

Finally, the man relented. I listened patiently as he told me the story of his wife, Morgana, who had been killed on Carth's home planet, Telos, when Malak's fleet, led by Carth's old mentor, Saul Karath, attacked. He told me about his son, Dustil, who they never found any trace of, and was also presumed to be dead.

The story tugged at my heart strings. When he was finished, he turned his head away, but not before I saw the single tear flow slowly down his cheek

I didn't know what to say, though I knew anything that I would have said would have only made things worse. No wonder he had trust issues. It explained why I constantly noticed him gazing out of the cockpit window, oblivious to anyone around. Staring at a face that was no longer there.

I stood then, and touched him gently on the shoulder. He was shaking. I went into the kitchen and made the two of us both steaming cups of Corellian Cider. Knowing it wouldn't make him feel better, but I felt like I needed to do _something_. The story had almost made me cry, and that was one thing I very rarely did.

I returned to the cockpit, finding Carth standing in front of his chair, running his hand through his already messy brown hair. When he turned, he looked more than a little shocked to see me standing there.

I cleared my throat. "I thought you might like some cider."

He forced a lopsided grin. "Thank you." He paused and rubbed the back of his neck. "I, uh, thought I freaked you out before and sent you running."

I chuckled and handed the mug to him, before returning to my seat. "It takes more than a couple of tears to send me running, Onasi."

Carth smiled and reclaimed his seat. "I've never really talked about my family before. To anyone." he paused. "I guess it's time I finally did." he reached over to me and squeezed my knee. "Thank you for listening."

I smiled and took a sip of my cider. "Anytime."

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

 

I sat my empty mug on the console that separated Alora and myself. I couldn't believe I had allowed her to see me cry. I hated showing any sort of weakness. And I don't know why, but it was even more so with this woman. This woman I had only known for a couple of months, was forcing herself into my personal life. Not that I minded, really. But my past was not a great one. Losing my wife and son four years ago had taken away most of my ambitions. I started building a wall around my heart and soul that were impregnable. Or so I had thought.

 _Who exactly_ was _Alora Polies?_

I found myself staring at Alora now, and not for the first time, noticed just how beautiful she was. She was a small, muscular woman, but not overly so. Her toned legs could probably snap a cannibal dewback's neck in two. Her torso was slim and taut not so much as a tiny bulge protruded over the hem of her pants when she sat down. You could see the faint lines of her muscles when she wore those short t-shirts of hers when she sparred with the others. Petite, muscular, tan arms. Tiny hands. Delicate and slender fingers.

I was shocked at how much I found myself unconsciously studied her. The most appealing of her beautiful features however, were her eyes. They were two different colors. One was a deep, piercing shade of blue, like a pool of water someone would drown in. The other, an enchanting emerald green. With subtle hints of gold around the pupil. If asked, I'm sure she would consider them a flaw, but they enhanced her features dramatically.

Alora finally looked over at me, taking a sip of her cider. I chuckled when some missed her lips and trickled down her chin. I don't know what made me do it but, before I could stop myself, I reached over and brushed it off her chin. She glanced at me curiously, her eyes full of innocence and wonder. I withdrew my hand slowly and cleared my throat, embarrassed. "Uh, it's late. You should probably get some sleep."

She nodded slowly and stood, taking both empty mugs with her. "Goodnight, Carth."

I stared straight ahead. "Goodnight, Alora." And with that, I heard her footsteps exit the cockpit and I listened to them until they were gone. I set the Hawk on auto pilot and nestled back in my chair. I felt exhausted, and more than a little silly. _Why did I do that?_

I finally started to nod off, thoughts of Alora still clouding my mind.

 


	2. Part Two

 

_-Alora-_

  


The gang and I had been on Manaan for two days now, but still had not found any indications of the Star Map's location. A Force vision had show us some of it's surroundings, but not enough to give us much of a clue.

A while back, a little girl named Sasha had somehow managed to stowaway on our ship, causing us to have to take a detour back to Dantooine to return her to her parents. While there, Jolee had bumped into a friend of his who informed the old man that a mutual friend of theirs, named Sunry, had gotten himself into some trouble with the Selkath authority and was being accused of murdering a Sith woman. Jolee had been eager to find his old friend and help him however he could.

Mission and Zaalbar, her wookiee companion, chose to spend most of their time in the local cantina, while Juhani and Canderous went in search of the Sith Enclave to search for the missing Selkath youth we had heard about. Bastila had gone to to speak with Roland Wann, the head of the Republic Enclave.

We had left the droids to guard the Ebon Hawk. That left Carth and I searching for the Star Map. After an hour of searching in vain, we decided to head off to the cantina for a bite to eat and maybe catch up with Mission and Zaalbar. We searched the room with no sign of them.

Carth and I hadn't really spoken much since that night in the cockpit. I wanted to ask him why he had done what he did. He had stared at me and touched my face with such...I don't even know. Not that I didn't like it. But I needed to know _why._

I had noticed him watching me closely. I had assumed he was still trying to decide whether or not he could trust me.

After we took our seats and ordered our food, I couldn't wait any longer. "You've been watching me closely as of late. Why is that?" I asked, resting my arms on the table and looking him straight in the eye.

Carth was taken aback. "You noticed that, huh? Damn you, Polies and your Jedi sense." he smirked at me to indicate he was joking.

I played along. "Well, if you were any more obvious your eyes would fall out of your head."

He blushed slightly. "Um, I'm not that bad am I?"

I laughed and playfully patted his hand. "Relax, Onasi. I'm teasing you."

Carth's eyes filled with mischief. "Damn it woman, if you don't stop hounding me, I'm going to take you over my knee and teach you a lesson."

"Aha! I would love to see you try!" For some reason my heart fluttered at the sudden flirtation. But as quickly as it started, he turned serious. "Don't worry, I haven't been ogling you. I've just been...admiring you."

I grinned, not willing to stop the flirting just yet. "It's okay, I don't mind if you watch me."

He chuckled low in his throat. "Why didn't you tell me that sooner? Would've saved me a lot of trouble!" Carth paused and averted his eyes. "I will say one thing however. We've come a long way with your help. You're skills are amazing. I'm...I'm glad you're here."

Blushing slightly, I began to idly with my silverware. "Any other observations?"

"Yeah, but I hope you don't mind if I keep those to myself."

We sat in silence until we finished eating. I looked around the room to see if maybe Mission had shown up. No sign of her. But something did catch my eye. A machine in the corner that was full of toys. I looked at Carth and grabbed his hand, leading him over to the machine. I beamed at him and slipped a credit chip into his palm. "Win something for me."

Carth laughed and raised an eyebrow. "You can't be serious. These things are rigged and just steal your credits."

I pouted at him, pointing to his hand. "That's why I only gave you one credit chip. You have one chance to win..." I paused and searched my eyes over the toys. "and I want that stuffed Bantha." I turned back to him, flashing an award winning smile.

Amusement lit his handsome face. "And just what is in this for me if I do win this?"

I shrugged, then winked at him. "Haven't thought that far yet."

 

* * *

  


_-Carth-_

  


I stuck the credit chip into the slot and brought the mechanical hand right over the Bantha doll. I suddenly felt Alora's hand touch my back lightly as she watched. I glanced at her face. Her expression made her appear to be around Mission's age. She softly bit her lower lip as I brought the metal hand around the toy Bantha's head and pulled it up, dropping it easily into the slot.

"Yes!" Alora cheered and kissed me on the cheek.

Blushing faintly, I bent down and picked up the tiny Bantha doll and handed it to her. "Here you go, Gorgeous."

She smiled up at me and right then I wanted nothing more than to kiss her. _Stop it, Onasi._  "Thank you."

We paid for our food and exited the cantina, and I was shocked at how long we had apparently been in there. Night had fallen over Mannan's beautiful water covered surface. The streets were practically deserted except for a couple random Selkath's and occasional Sith or Republic officer.

"Alora," I started, wanting to finish our conversation from before. "I'm sorry that I blamed everything on you before. I should have trusted you from the beginning instead of doubting you." I paused. "I hope you can forgive me."

She smiled. "You've already apologized once, Carth." she started to continue walking, but I gently grabbed her arm, forcing her to stop in her tracks.

"And you accepted it, I know. But that doesn't mean I'm forgiven." I paused again and rubbed her soft hand with my thumb. "I'd like to be."

She looked into my eyes, as if she were trying to read my soul. "Why do you need my forgiveness anyway?"

I sighed. "Because you're an impressive and beautiful woman. In some ways, good ways, you remind me of my wife. And I'd like to make things right between us."

To my surprise, Alora reached for my hand and gave it a little squeeze. She smiled mischievously. "You think I'm beautiful?"

I laughed. "It doesn't take a genius to notice a beautiful woman when they see one."

We continued our walk back to the Ebon Hawk. All the while not letting go of my hand. I looked down at our clasped hands, and couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Almost as if I were cheating on my wife. _Come off it, Carth. It's been four years. She would want you to be happy._ I felt a little like a teenager on his first date. My palms were sweaty, my heart pounding like a drum. If she noticed my clammy hand, she didn't say anything.

We finally reached the Hawk. I had to make a decision. I had to let my wife go. Not completely. But enough to allow myself to love again. I would always love Morgana. She had been my first and only love. She gave me my son. She _taught_ me how to love.

But somewhere down the road, I had somehow developed feelings for Alora. But I knew that if I didn't let go of my past, I would never be truly happy again.

Nervously, I intertwined our fingers and gave her hand a light squeeze. I smiled as a blush crossed her cheeks, and looked at the ground, a soft smile playing on her lips.

We entered the Ebon Hawk as quietly as we could, positive that everyone else would be sleeping by now. I walked her to her sleeping quarters. I rubbed her bare arms, noticing the goosebumps along her skin that the chilly weather had caused, and smiled at her. "I had fun tonight." I stated lamely. _Ugh, how lame am I?_

She smiled and squeezed my hand. "Me too, Onasi." She hugged the Bantha doll and giggled.

Her child-like innocence warmed my heart. Where she found the strength to be as powerful as she was, fight Dark Jedi single-handed and could still find pleasures in the smallest things, I don't think I would ever understand. But it made her even more sexy than her appearance.

We stood there awkwardly in silence for what seemed like an eternity, before she cleared her throat. "Well, goodnight, Carth." She leaned up and kissed me on the cheek, and started to enter her room.

I caught her arm and pulled her to me, ignoring the shocked look on her face. I stared into her enchanting eyes. I brushed her dark hair away from her forehead. My heart pounded. I leaned down and brushed my lips with hers.

She was slightly startled at first, but she finally responded and kissed me back in a way that made my knees want to buckle. I wrapped my arms around her small waist, more to keep my balance than anything else. It had been so long since I had kissed a woman that I had almost forgotten what it was like.

A crash in the common room interrupted our moment and we sprang apart. We looked at each other, both still breathless, when we heard Canderous curse loudly, then rounded the corridor where we were standing.

"What was that noise?" Alora asked, stepping further away from me.

"Ran into that damned astromech on my way to the fresher, stubbed my toe." He pushed past us and slammed the door to the refresher.

Alora and I laughed quietly and turned back to each other. Smiling, I touched her face, pushing her hair behind her ear. "Goodnight, Beautiful."

She smiled as I kissed her once more before she headed into the quarters.

I stood there for a moment, staring at the closed door before heading to my own room. I tossed my jacket onto the chair and changed into my sleepwear. I pulled back the covers and rested my hands behind my head. I couldn't remember feeling this happy.

_It was time to let go, and finally move on._

 


	3. Part Three

_ -Alora- _

My eyes fluttered open as Manaan's morning sun beamed into my bunker's window.

I laid still for several moments, replaying last night's events over again in my mind. I stretched and a smile crept upon my face.

I looked around. Bastila, Mission, and Juhani must be awake already. I stood up and went to my footlocker, grabbing a fresh robed and checked the hallway. No one around. I rushed into the refresher.

"Whoa!"

Carth whirled around, a look of surprise and embarrassment on his face.

I quickly averted my eyes and turned around, feeling my face grow hot. "I...sorry! I didn't, um, know you were in here."

"I, uh, thought I locked the door." I heard the shower turn off and the door slid open.

I closed my eyes, trying to get the image of Carth out of my head. It wasn't working. I slowly turned around.

He slipped on his pants underneath the towel. He smiled sheepishly. "It's okay, I should have...checked the door."

I nodded slowly, unable to speak.

There was something in his eyes. They were glued on me as he slowly inched his way forward, backing me against the wall. "See something you liked?" he asked in a low, raspy voice that I had never heard from him before.

 _Did he really just ask me that?_ "Well...I...I mean..."

I tried to move, feeling very uncomfortable under his intense, heavy gaze, but he placed both hands firmly on the wall on both sides of me. He leaned down close to my face, and I clenched my eyes shut. Then I heard it.

A lightsaber.

My eyes popped opened and Carth's deep brown eyes turned red and blood shot. Veins cascaded over his handsome face. "Carth?"

No. It wasn't Carth.

_ Malak. _

Malak stood before me, drawing the lightsaber to my throat. "You're dead, Gorgeous."

I started shaking uncontrollably. I tried to call upon the Force. Nothing. It was gone. I was powerless. So I did the only thing I could do. I punched him as hard as I could. My fist connected with his jaw, but he recovered quickly and grabbed my shoulders. I couldn't breathe. I felt as if someone, something, had closed over my windpipe. I clawed at my throat, but there was nothing there.

He raised his lightsaber.

I screamed.

"Alora!"

"Wake up!"

"Observation: It would appear that the Master has broken the Republic meatbag's nose."

My eyes popped open to see everyone crowded around me. I was back in my bed with everyone stating at me with concerned and confused expressions on their faces. I sat up, still shaking as I tried to catch my breath. "What's going on?"

Jolee was the first to speak. "Apparently, my dear, you were having a pretty bad dream." he chuckled. " I've only heard a scream like that from a viper kinrath when I was going to make him my dinner."

"We all came rushing in here," Mission continued, sparing everyone the recipe of Jolee's kinrath dinner. "Carth tried to wake you up and you clocked him." she laughed slightly. "I'm not exactly a morning person, but you beat me by a long shot."

"Are you alright?" Bsatila asked, sitting beside me on the bed. "What was the dream about?"

I shook my head. "It was nothing, I'm fine." I didn't want to discuss the dream. "Where's Carth?"

Canderous snorted. "The medbay. Juhani went to repair his face." he laughed again. "Ya know, for a Jedi dame, you got a pretty nice right hook."

I rolled my eyes and started to get up, then realizing I had only slept in my t-shirt. "I appreciate everyone's concern, but I'm fine, really. Now if you'll excuse me, I will be out in a minute."

Everyone exited the room except Mission. She was staring at me with a slightly amused look on her pretty blue face. "What is it, Mish?"

She shrugged and picked up my stuffed bantha. "I was just curious, ya know, about what's going on between you and Carth."

I dressed quickly, tying the belt of my tan robe around my waist. "What do you mean?"

Mission glared skeptically at me. She tried to look serious, but she couldn't hold back the smirk that was creeping its way onto her face. "I saw you two last night."

I felt my face burn hot, but I couldn't help but smile. "That was..." I paused, looking for the right words. "I don't know what that was."

Mission laughed. "Yeah right! I wasn't born yesterday, ya know." she started making kissing sounds and held up the bantha doll. "Oh, Carth! Muah! I love you! Kiss me you fool!"

I threw my pillow at her, smacking her square in the head, trying to put on an angry face, but the corners of my mouth kept twitching upwards, betraying me. "You brat."

She giggled and put my pillow and bantha back on the bed. "Well, as gross as it is, I'm happy for ya." she paused. "Even if he is an old geezer."

I grinned and put my arm around her shoulder, "Come on. We should probably go check on the old geezer and make sure I didn't completely mangle his face."

Mission laughed, then suddenly her face became serious. "By the way, what made you do that? What were you dreaming about?"

My smile faded slowly, images of the dream still fresh in my mind. "I.... Nothing. Just your everyday, run of the mill nightmare." I faked a reassuring smile at her. "Nothing to worry about."

She nodded, but was unconvinced, but she decided not to push the subject. "Sure. But if you need to talk, you know where to find me." she paused. "Go check on your boyfriend, I'm gonna catch up with Big Z and get some breakfast. I'm starving."

After she was gone, I walked down the corridor tot he medbay and peeked in.

Carth was standing in front of the mirror, placing a fresh bandage over his nose. Juhani and Jolee must have Force healed him to mend the break, but it was still bleeding, barely. I heard him wince.

"Hey you," I greeted him as I entered the room slowly, expecting him to yell at me, or simply ignore me.

He turned quickly, a bit startled, but relaxed when he saw it was me. "Hey, Beautiful."

His term of endearment was more than I deserved. "You're welcome to punch me in the face if it will help."

He laughed. "Thanks for the offer, Polies, but I'll pass." he paused and sat down on the gurney. "Ya know, for someone so small you have a hell of a right cross. I'm impressed."

I walked further into the room and took a seat on the chair in front of him. "I'm really sorry, Carth. It wasn't intentional."

He looked at me, astonished. "Gorgeous, you have nothing to apologize for. " he laughed a little. "You honestly thought I would be mad at you?"

I shrugged, crossing my arms over my chest. "I would be."

Carth leaned forward and took my hands in his. "You were having a bad dream. I tried to wake you up, to I guess save you from it..."

"And I slugged you." I had to laugh.

He dropped his head to stifle a laugh himself. "Yeah, remind me to stay on your good side." He turned serious again. "But don't ever assume that I am angry with you...especially over something so...trivial."

I smiled and kissed his forehead. "Thank you."

He stood, pulling me up with him. "Come on, Gorgeous, we still have a lot to do."

 

* * *

 

The trial for Sunry hadn't been a pleasant one. After speaking to several witnesses at the hotel, Bastila had uncovered some incriminating evidence at the Republic Enclave. A security recording of Sunry in the hotel room, shooting his lover Elassa, an apparent Dark Jedi, in the head while she slept. The Selkath authority sentenced him to death. I went to check on Jolee after the trial.

"Sunry was a good man, once. I only wish my old friend hadn't done it."

I offered a shoulder to him if he needed anything, and left him to his grief.

Canderous and Juhani had found the missing Selkath youth hidden in the Sith base. They had been training them in the ways of the darkside of the Force. But with evidence of the Sith's intentions, they convinced them to return to their families, who took the issues to the authorities.

We headed back to the Republic Enclave. Roland Wann had given us permission to use their submersible to investigate their hidden under water base near the Hrakert Rift, where the kolto was harvested. We had recovered their droid for them in exchange they allowed us access. Hopefully, we would also find our Star Map somewhere beneath the ocean's depths.

I decided that it would be best to bring Carth and Mission along with me. Mission was amazing at computer terminals and picking locks. Her brother had taught her well with the breaking and entering tactics.

We reached the research station and were immediately greeted by a hysterical mercenary. "The damned fish went crazy! Killing everything in sight. " he shivered. "And those firaxans."

"Just calm down. Wait on the submersible until we're done here and we'll take you back to the surface." I assured him.

The green twi'lek looked at us skeptically, deciding he had no other choice if he wanted to survive, and entered the sub.

We found a nearby footlocker containing a couple of medpacs and antidote kits. I handed them to Carth, who stuck them into the bag of supplies he was carrying.

Rounding the corner, we almost collided with an assault droid. Carth and Mission raised their blasters, but before they could pull the triggers, I calmly raised my hand, emitting a large amount of electricity from the tips of my fingers. Never reaching for my lightsaber.

The droid smoked and the sounds of singing wires fill the air. I noticed my two companions exchange glances.

Throughout our journey, I had tried to find other ways around aggressive negotiations. Only a couple of times had I used my lightsaber or force powers in battle. I had better use for my strength.

But I was starting to get impatient. Time was running out. Millions of innocent people had already died by the hands of Malak. He had to be stopped. Yesterday.

My sudden anger must have been evident on my face, because Carth reached for my hand. "Hey...you okay?"

I felt myself tense. "I'm fine." my tone was soft, but firm. Gently, I squeezed his hand before letting go. "We're close to the Star Map. It's here...somewhere. I can feel it."

 

* * *

 

 

_ -Carth- _

I recognized the tone of her voice all too well. It happened every time we neared the dark energy of the Star Maps. Her soft features would harden, tense up. Her voice almost mechanical.

We ran into several more enraged Selkath along the way. Also stumbling across a man who had locked himself into a storage locker. Alora tried to persuade him to come out, assuring him that he would be safe traveling with us. The man refused. He had lost his mind along with the Selkath.

Mission tried her best to unlock the storage locker, but her efforts were in vain.

Alora groaned. "If you don't come out, we'll just leave you here!" I could tell she was getting aggravated, but she couldn't stop the smile that was threatening to cross her face.

The man shooed us away, and we could hear his mumbles of "Fishy, fishy. I know you're out there." as we walked away.

"Crazy old coot." Mission shook her head.

We explored some more, pocketing anything of worth that we could find along the way. Finally, we reached a room that had a working airlock. Unfortunately, there was only one watersuit. And it only fit me.

"I am not letting you go out there alone!" I protested, grabbing the suit from her hands. "Did you not see the size of those firaxans? No way. I'll go."

She smiled at me. "Carth, the suit doesn't even fit you. We have no other choice in the matter."

I shook my head.. "Sorry, not happening."

Mission grabbed the bag from my shoulders and began to rummage through it. She pulled out what appeared to be a Sonic Emitter. "Here, take this. I snatched it off one of the corpses we came across. If any of those scale-face mutated tadpoles comes at you, just aim this emitter at them and you'll be fine."

I shook my head again. "I still don't like the idea of you going by yourself."

"I'm a big girl, flyboy." Alora laughed as she put on the watersuit. "I have two tanks of oxygen and the emitter. And I'm sure there are several parts of this base that have an oxygen refuel system."

She kissed me quickly on the lips before placing the helmet over her head. "Wait here for me. I'll return soon."


	4. Part Four

_ \- Carth - _

 

I paced around the room, clenching and releasing my fists. Stopping only once in a while to check the time.

"Carth, will you please stand still? You're making me nervous. And you're adding a rather large dent in the floor." Mission joked, hoisting herself on top of several stacked crates.

I ran my hand nervously through my hair. "I just don't understand. What could possibly be taking her so long? I'm worried that something's happened."

Mission nodded. "It has been a long time. But she's a Jedi. She can handle anything."

I knew she was right, but I could hear the uncertainty in her voice. True, Alora was strong. She was smart...adaptable. "I know. But not even a Jedi can breathe under water."

I hadn't realized I had said those words aloud. I turned to see worry overwhelm the young twi'lek's blue face. She turned pale and her bottom lip began to quiver.

"Hey, hey, hey." I hurried over to her. From her position on the crates, she was eye level to me. I cupped her face in my hands. "She's going to be alright, Mish. But she needs us to stay strong. I know her. She wouldn't like it very much if she knew I let you worry about her." I paused. I knew I sounded like I was trying to convince myself. I brushed the tears off her pretty face. "No more crying, got that, solider?"

Mission smiled, though I could tell she was still unconvinced, but hugged me regardless. "Thanks, Carth. Ya know, you're not so bad," she paused. "for an old geezer."

I smiled. "You're not so bad yourself, rawl-head." I playfully nudged her chin with my fist.

She looked down at the floor. "Hey, Carth," she started picking at a rip in her pants. "can I ask you something? It's kind of...personal I guess."

 _Here it comes,_ I thought. "What is it, Mish?"

"What's going on between you and Alora?"

 _And there it is._ "What do you mean?"

She laughed slightly. "Al said the same thing when I asked her."

I turned back towards her, my interest piqued. "You asked her?" My heart was suddenly racing. "What did she say?"

"Well, we didn't really get to talk much. It was this morning after she punched you. But she had this huge smile on her face when I told her I saw the two of you kissing last night."

I could feel my face grow hot. "Oh, you, uh, saw that huh?"

Mission simply nodded in response.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "I don't really know how to explain my feelings for her. I haven't really felt this way since...since my wife died." I paused, looking over at her. She was looking at me sympathetically, listening intently. "After Morgana died, I devoted myself to the fleet. Killing Saul was all I had left. But now, since I met Alora, it's not my top priority anymore. It should be. But now..." I paused again, trying to conjure up the right words. "she makes me...think that there's something more to live for. She...she makes me happy."

Mission smiled softly. "Do you love her?"

I felt my mouth open, then close. I hadn't thought about it to that extent. "I...care for her. Deeply. But I don't think I love her...yet." I sighed. "But every time I'm with her...I fall alittle bit more."

 

* * *

 

 

_ -Alora- _

My heart pounded as I slammed the airlock door shut. My sonic emitter had gone out on me after just two uses. One of those giant sharks was now ramming it's large head into the door I had just entered.  _ Must have wanted me for dinner. _

It was freezing in this section of the underwater base. I stripped off the water suit, finding a footlocker in the room, which, thank the Force, had a set of dry clothes.

The firaxan that chased me, had ripped part of my suit off my back, taking some of my skin with it, just before I made it into the base. My adrenalin was so high, I hadn't really noticed at first. It stung painfully as I removed the suit.  _ Why does everything always hurt worse  _ after  _ you notice it?  _

I reached into the bag I had borrowed from Carth and pulled out a couple of bandages. I looked around to make sure no one was around and removed my shirt to wrap the bandage around my waist, thinking briefly that it would be a much easier process if someone could have helped me. I used the Force to place the bandage directly over the wound. Damn, it hurt.  _ Hope that damn shark enjoyed his snack _,_ _ I thought bitterly.

I was too exhausted to use the Force to properly heal myself. I would need every possible ounce of energy I could consume in the next couple of weeks, I wagered.

After securing the bandage, I put on the dry clothes. They were a bit small. The shirt was too tight and clung to my body. The pants were just as tight, only resting somewhat comfortably on my hips.  _ Oh, well. _ I thought.  _ At least they're dry . _

I walked through the blast doors, and a force shield immediately caught my eye. I could see the outlines of two figures standing behind it. _Please for the love of the Force, don't let it be more of those insane fish people_. Not that I couldn't take them, But I was just so exhausted...so drained.

Making my way, cautiously, over to the force shield, the shadows became clear. A man and a woman stood huddled close together.

"Someone's coming!" the woman shouted. "Activate the gas chambers! Hurry!"

All of the blast doors around me began closing all at once. I tried them all but they were wielded shut.

Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. Poisonous vapors filled the air, gagging me. It felt as if someone was cutting off my windpipes. I fell to my knees in front of the force field, the couple had a terrified look on their faces. The man placed a protective arm around the woman's shoulders.

"Please." I managed to choke out, the fumes over-powering my lungs. "I mean...no harm."

The man looked at my skeptically then reached for a lever near him. The vapors disappeared and I could breathe again.

The man lowered the force field. "Please forgive me. We're very skeptical of anyone who may wander in here. " he paused. "After the Selkath went crazy, killing everything in sight! Sami and I thought we were the only ones left."

"Anyone who survived the Selkath tried to leave and were killed by the firaxans." the woman continued.

I listened as they finished telling the story of what happened to the Selkath and the giant firaxan who made its home in the rift, still trying to catch my breath. My lungs stung from the toxic fumes. "How could I get past it?" I asked when they were finished.

"We've been working on a substance that was designed to drive them away. It's a toxin that you will have to put in the harvester machine. When emitted, it should kill all of the firaxans. But it's only been tested in closed captivity." the man said.

"But it could be dangerous for the environment, not to mention the kolto!" the woman cried. "We can't risk it."

I thought for a moment. I didn't like the idea of releasing toxin into the water. Is there another way?"

Sami nodded. "I'd hate to do it, but you could shut down the harvester. Before it was built, the firaxans were not so hostile. I think if you could destroy it, you could get past it."

"But that would put us behind months, maybe even years!" The man exclaimed. "All of the work we've done would be in vain."

The woman shook her head sadly. "It's the only way."

Before I returned to the water, I was given a new sonic emitter, wet suit, and the man had slipped the toxin into my hand.

"You know what you have to do." he had whispered, so that his partner wouldn't hear him.

I climbed into my wet suit and opened the airlock. The firaxan greeted me with a toothy grin. I immediately reached for my emitter and aimed it at him.

The shark's eyes rolled back and its body convulsed. I slowly made my way over to the harvester, and after a good standard hour, shut it down. I moved away as quickly as I could before the machine finally exploded.

I crossed over a bridge, and could see the giant firaxan watching me. I stopped in my tracks. When it made no move to advance on me, I breathed a sigh of relief and continued my journey.

There it was. The Star Map. I could feel the dark energy flow from it. I downloaded the information into my datapad, and began to make my way back over to where I left Carth and Mission.

I had no further problems with the firaxans. They seemed perfectly at ease as I passed by several schools of them.

I could see Carth pacing back and forth through the window of the complex. I looked down at my crono. I had been gone for four standard hours.  _ They  must be worried sick _ _._ I stifled a laugh as I thought of how Mission must be bored out of her mind, and driving Carth crazy.

"Finally!" Mission hopped down from the crates she was perched upon, throwing her arms around my waist after I striped off the wetsuit. "We were afraid the firaxans got you."

I laughed and hugged her back, wincing as she pressed against the wound on my back.

The relieved expression on Carth's face slowly faded. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, putting my arm around the little twi'lek's shoulder, easing her away from me.

"No you're not. Those aren't the same clothes you were wearing. They don't even fit you.”." He walked behind me, carefully lifting the back of the shirt and noticing the blood stained bandage. "What the hell happened?"

Mission let go of me and walked around to where Carth was standing and winced. "That's not pretty."

I grabbed my robe that I had left behind and slipped it on slowly, so not to reopen the gash. "A firaxan just wanted me for dinner."

Carth frowned. "Not funny."

I groaned. "It's just a flesh wound. I'm fine."

Carth grabbed the bag from my shoulders and searched through it. "Where the hell are all of the medpacs?"

"There was only one in there." I explained.

His eyes widened so much I thought that thought they would pop out of his head. "You went with one medpac?" he cried, covering his eyes with his hand. "I can't believe this."

Mission shrugged. "What's the big deal, Carth? She's fine. A little bloody maybe, and that gash is gonna leave one heck of scar..."

Carth closed his eyes. "Mission, would you excuse us?" he interrupted. "I need to speak with Alora alone for a minute."

Mission raised an eyebrow at him, then looked to me. "Okay, I'll go find some insane Selkath to play with."

I snickered as she left the room. Carth placed his hand on the wall, not looking at me. "You could have been killed."

I walked over to him and placed a hand on his arm. "But I wasn't. I'm fine, Carth."

I heard him sigh sadly. "But what if you hadn't been okay? You were alone and...who knows what could have happened. I wasn't there to protect you."

"No...but there wasn't any other way." I stated calmly, squeezing his arm affectionately. "Why are you so upset?

Silence.

"Carth?"

He finally turned to face me, his face etched with a mixture of grief and determination. "Because...I wasn't able to save my wife and son. And I couldn't bare to loose someone else that...that I care about." he paused to look me in the eye. "I finally have a chance to do it right. Killing Saul has been my number one priority for years, and...and then you came along." he touched my face gently, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "and you make me feel...like I might have a purpose beyond revenge." he ran his fingers through my hair. "If I'm going to live past Saul, I need you too as well. Let me protect you. You...you have to let me try."

I smiled sadly at him, placing my hand over the one he had rested on my cheek. "And just how are you going to protect me?"

I didn't mean for those words to come out the way they must have sounded to him, but I am a Jedi, if I can't protect myself...who could?

Carth sighed. "I...I don't know. I'm not the best of men, and I'm not the strongest fighter there is, but I'll...find a way." He ran his hands up and down my arms. "I don't know if it means anything to you, but it does to me."

I smiled. "It means a lot to me, Carth. Thank you."

He took my hand and we headed to go find Mission. We opened the door, and as we did, the young twi'lek stumbled into the room, landing at our feet. She looked up at us with a sheepish grin on her face. "Uh, hi, guys. I was just..."

"Eavesdropping?" I stated, putting my free hand on my hip.

We helped her off the floor and she brushed herself off. "Eavesdropping? No, don't be ridiculous. I was just, um, napping. Yeah, that's it. Napping. Waiting for you to finish your swim bored the poo-doo out of me."

Carth and I exchanged amused glances. "Eavesdropping." we said in unison.

Mission giggled and took off running to the docking bay, with Carth and I close on her heels.

 

* * *

 

 

_ \- Carth - _

When we reached the surface again, the mercenary took off running as fast as he could, yelling "I quit!" as he rushed out of the enclave.

Roland Wann greeted us at the dock. "You're back. I was beginning to think the worst."

I listened as Alora began to tell him of the insane Selkath, missing scientists, and having to destroy harvester. The news brought a distraught look to the man's face. "That's terrible. This may have even cost us the war..."

Alora explained to him that there was no other choice. Regardless, he thanked us for our assistance before we exited the enclave.

Outside, a group of Selkath waited for us. "You there, human. We have seen a security recording of you in the Hrakert Rift. We believe that you are responsible for the multiple detonations and explosions near the kolto. You are under arrest."

I watched as they put restraining bolts around her Alora's hands and ankles. "Now wait just a damn minute!" I protested, my anger rising.

Alora shook her head and smiled at me reassuringly. "No, Carth. It's okay." she turned back to the Selkath. "I will go peacefully."

Mission and I just stood there, open mouthed. "I don't believe this." I muttered, throwing my hands in the air in frustration.

"What a load of poo-doo!" Mission exclaimed. "They arrested her when she could have killed the entire environment!"

I sighed and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Come on, we need to tell the others. After what they did to Sunry, a Republic war hero, there's no telling what they'll do about this."


	5. Part Five

_ -Carth- _

 

"Arrested?" Jolee cried. "What in the name of the Force for?"

I tried my best to explain the situation to them, trying to remember every little detail of what Alora had said to Roland.

"I think it's time to knock a few fish heads off and mount them in the cargo hold." Canderous pounded his fist on the counter.

HK-47 perked up. "Ready!"

Jolee shook his head. "None of that, you brainless Mandalorian, " he turned and pointed a finger at HK. "and you keep quiet you walking garbage disposal."

"What are we going to do?" Juhani asked. "We can't just leave her in there."

Jolee turned to me. "When is her trial, son?"

I sighed. "I don't know. Before we came back here, Mission and I tried to get into where they were holding her, but they wouldn't let us in." I racked my hand through my hair. "Maybe...one of us should try to become her arbiter, try to defend her during the trial..."

"Was she at least able to get the Star Map?" Bastila asked, speaking for the first time. She was pacing back and forth.

I glared at her. "Yeah, but what good will that do if she's locked up? The information is loaded into her datapad," I paused, my voice turning harsh. "and that should be the l _ _east_ _ of your worries right now, Bastila. Our friend is in prison for no damn reason."

Canderous snorted. "You're just angry because you want to bang 'er."

Everyone stared at Canderous, who just shrugged. "What? He does. Who can blame him? So do I."

They all turned to me, I could feel my face grow hot. "We're getting off topic here..."

"Carth, may I speak to you in the cockpit for a moment, please?" Bastila asked, her face stern and her voice monotone.

"Bastila, this is not the –" I started.

Her face hardened. "Now, Captain."

I sighed. "Fine." I followed her out of the common room, ignoring the mumbles from the rest of the crew.

We entered the cockpit. Bastila raised two fingers, moving them in a sideways motion and the door closed and locked behind us. I looked at the door, then turned my attention back to her. "What's this about, Bastila?"

She crossed her arms over her chest, leaning against the pilot's seat, looking at me. "Is it true? What Canderous said?"

"You're going to take the word of a core-slime Mandalorian who's been calling you spoiled princess since we escaped Taris?" I asked, matching her stare.

Her eyes bored into me, no doubt reading my emotions. Each moment that passed, I become more and more uncomfortable. "That doesn't answer my question, Carth." she sneered. "I asked you if it was true."

I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck. "Not in so many words, no. Not the way he made it sound." I paused, trying to choose my words carefully. "But yes, I do care for her, and not just in a platonic way."

Her gaze softened a bit, but continued to be Jedi-serious. "it's forbidden for a Jedi to have any sort of...attachment to a person. You know this, Carth."

I frowned. "So what, is there a copy of a Jedi rule book floating around Dantooine? Oh, no, Coruscant right? 'A guide of Jedi Do's and Don'ts? That's ridiculous."

Bastila rubbed her temples. "Carth, this is no laughing matter. Attachment leads to jealousy, jealousy leads to hate...These are not an option for a Jedi. One wrong move, and the path of the dark side..." she paused. "I don't know how far this...fling has gone, but it needs to end now. This path will only destroy Alora...and you."

I closed my eyes, fighting the headache that was trying to start. "It hasn't gone anywhere, Bastila. Not that it's any of your business. We've...kissed, but that's it." I paused. "I can't help that I'm attracted to her. She...never mind. You wouldn't understand. You've probably never even been in love before, have you?"

Silence.

I scoffed. "I didn't think so." I turned to leave.

"Once."

I turned to face her again, my voice softened. "And?"

She smiled sadly. "Do you see a man standing next to me?" she whispered.

I shook my head. "Just me." I paused. "So what happened?"

Bastila lowered her head sadly. "His name was Yonas. He was one of the Padawans to train with me when were children." she paused, fighting tears. "He left to join Revan and Malak in the Mandalorian wars. He died in battle."

I walked over to her and touched her shoulder gently. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," I gave her shoulder a light squeeze. "but I do know how it feels to loose someone you love."

She cleared her throat. "I'm fine. But this is precisely why Jedi don't get involved with...anyone. It only causes pain and heartbreak. She cannot commit herself to you and the Jedi."

I turned to leave the cockpit, but stopped again. "Did you ever tell him how you felt?"

She turned and looked out the window of the cockpit. "Yes."

"Did he feel the same way?"

Silence.

"Bastila?"

She sighed. "No, he did not. He was devoted to the Jedi Code.." she laughed a little. "Before he left for the war, he asked me to join him. Of course, I said no. And that was the last I saw of him."

I shook my head. "I'm sorry." I turned to leave.

"Carth?"

I stopped, again. "Yeah?"

"Do you love her?"

I could barely hear her, there was some sort of commotion coming from the common room. "What?"

"I asked if you love her?"

I thought for a moment, then smiled. "I'm still falling."

She started to respond, when the commotion grew louder. She shrugged. "We should go see what's going on."

I nodded and we left the cockpit, making our way back into the common room. I stopped in my tracks, almost causing Bastila to run into me.

Alora stood there, in a circle of our crew mates.

"How did you get out?" Juhani asked.

"Did they just let you go?" asked Mission.

"Did you crack some skulls to escape?" Canderous asked, eager to hear a tale of bloodshed.

I raced over to her, breaking my way through the circle and gathered her in my arms. I cupped her face in my hands, relief flooding over me. "Are you okay?"

She simply nodded, a smile playing over her lips.

I ushered her over to a chair, and she sat down. She looked exhausted, like she hadn't slept in days. I knelt in front of her. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Jolee came up behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Give the kid room to breathe, son." he chuckled.

Juhani handed her a mug of caffa and a sandwich. "Here, I'm sure you're starving. And it just so happens that Jolee made sandwiches for everyone."

"Thank you," Alora accepted the caffa, but looked skeptically at the sandwich. "Jolee made it?"

"Yeah, what of it?" he asked, crossing his arms. "I'm not so old that I forgot how to cook, you know."

Alora eyed him suspiciously. "It doesn't contain any body parts of a Sith does it?"

"Not this time," the old man chuckled. "Ungrateful little..." his voice trailed off into another laugh.

Alora finally accepted the sandwich and took a bite. Approvingly, she nodded. "This isn't bad."

"Told you we could find use for the Gizkas."

Alora swallowed slowly, a look of horror on her beautiful face. "What?"

Everyone laughed.

"I'm kidding, my dear. But I won't tell you what is in it. It's my little secret."

She raised an eyebrow. "That's reassuring."

Jolee smiled as she took another bite and sat himself down at the counter.

I stepped behind her and rubbed her shoulders as she finished her meal. I could feel Bastila's eyes on me disapprovingly but I didn't care."

"So out with it," Mission grinned. "What happened?"

We listened intently as Alora told us of what happened. "It turns out," she started. "that the Selkath have this legend, a prophecy, of a giant firaxan, they called it..." she thought for a moment. "the life giver, or something like that. They wouldn't say exactly what it was. They said it wasn't for human ears." she paused to take a sip of her caffa. "Anyway, they had my trial and dropped the charges when I explained everything. About destroying the harvester, apparently, was the right thing to do. The toxins would have killed the environment, thus killing the firaxan and the kolto."

"Well," Jolee rested his head on his hand. "you did the right thing, my dear."

"So no blood?" Canderous asked, disappointment in his voice.

She shook her head and smiled. "No, Canderous. Sorry to disappoint you."

He shrugged. "Well, there's always next time."


	6. Part Six

_ -Alora- _

 

We left Manaan later that night. Carth and I sat in the cockpit, setting the auto pilot for Korriban. This was the last Star Map that we needed for the location of the Star Forge. It would take us at least four days to get there.

I sat there in silence. After my trial with the Selkath's, I had been stopped by a man, who was apparently an old friend of Carth's. He had stopped me on the way back to the Ebon Hawk.

_ "You're traveling with Carth Onasi, are you not?" he asked. "My name is Jordo. I'm an old friend of Carth's." _

_ I extended my hand. "Nice to meet you, Jordo. I'm Alora." I paused. "Carth is waiting on my ship if you would like..." _

_ He shook his head, cutting my sentence. "As much as I would love to see my old friend, I would rather not give him this information in person." _

_ I looked at him curiously, my head tilting slightly, trying to read his emotions. I sensed no threat from this man, only sadness. "What's this about?" _

_ Jordo handed me a datapad. "I've located his son, Dustil. He's on Korriban. At...the Sith academy." _

_ I closed my eyes, letting his words sink in. "He's joined the Sith?" The words were like venom. This was going to break Carth's heart. "At least he's alive...for now." _

_ Jordo nodded slowly. "Will you relay this message to him? And give him my condolences on his wife." _

_ I nodded, clutching the datapad to my chest. "Thank you, Jordo. I will. And I'm sure that Carth will appreciate this as well. _

_ Jordo nodded gratefully and walked away, his head lowered. _

"Beautiful?"

Carth's voice startled me out of my thoughts. "Huh?"

He chuckled. "You haven't heard a single word I've said, have you?"

I leaned forward and touched his hand. "I'm sorry, Carth. What were you saying?"

He smiled and shook his head, covering my hand with his. "Nothing of importance, Beautiful." he paused and squeezed my hand. "Are you okay?"

"No, not really." I took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to break the news to him. "I have something I need to tell you."

He turned his chair towards me, giving me his full attention. "I'm all ears, Beautiful."

I sighed and nervously bit my lip. "I...ran into an old friend of yours. Named Jordo."

Carth looked slightly shocked, and nodded slowly, waiting for me to continue.

I looked him in the eye, then pulled the datapad from behind me and handed it to him. "I think you need to read this."

He looked at me questionably, then began to skim through the datapad. "Dustil..." he whispered. "He's alive. He...he must be a man by now." he paused and ran his hand through his hair. "Why the Sith?" he murmured, placing the datapad against his forehead. "He's smarter than this!"

I squeezed his hand tenderly. "We'll get him back, Carth. I swear to you that we will." I sighed. "I was...debating on if I should tell you or not..." I admitted.

Carth finally looked up at me, his dark brown eyes full of emotion. "I'm...glad you did." he gave me a weak smile. "Thank you." He placed his hand behind my neck, pulling me closer to him, and kissed me softly.

I closed my eyes, kissing him back. I felt his hands travel to my waist, gently pulling me out of my seat and into his lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist, continuing to kiss me.

I could feel his heart beat against my chest. "Beautiful..." he breathed against my lips, running his hands up and down my back, then rested one hand on my thigh.

"Ahem."

We both jumped and turned to see Canderous standing, arms folded, against the door frame. "Hate to interrupt, really, I do. But I assumed that you needed me to come take your place in that chair." he grinned, looking at me. "If this is what I get for flying this piece of junk, then I'll be more than happy to finish where you left off, Republic."

Carth glared at him, his face bright red. "That...won't be necessary, Canderous. Thanks for the offer, but I can handle this on my own." he grinned at me, took my hand, and dragged me out of the cockpit.

Canderous snorted. "If you want a real man, honey, you know where to find me. I'll show you a real good time."

I stopped walking and turned to him. Lifting my hand, I sent Canderous flying back into the pilot's chair, and shutting the door to the cockpit at the same time.

Carth laughed and rested his hand on my hip, and leading me into the cargo hold, shutting the door behind him. He then spun me around, wrapping his arms around my waist again, drawing me closer. "Now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?"

I giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Right about here, I think." I whispered. He was significantly taller than me, I had to stand on my toes to reach him.

"I think you're right," he breathed, just inches from my face. He playfully bit my lower lip before kissing me again.

I melted into his kiss, carelessly playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. I knew this was wrong. Jedi were forbidden to succumb to such emotion. But I couldn't help it when I was around him.

I felt him lift me onto a stack of crates, breaking the kiss only momentarily. He made sure I was comfortable, then pressed his mouth to mine again, more forcefully this time.

 

* * *

 

 

_ -Carth- _

 

I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her, lightly at first, but I couldn't contain my desire for this woman. She had been hesitant at first, but the tension in her body eased as I hugged her closer to me.

I became increasingly aware of our current position. Somehow, I had moved her over to the crates and was now standing between her knees. I felt beads of sweat form on my brow.

_ How in the hell did she manage to do this to me? I _ had only known her for...eight months? I couldn't remember exactly. Hell, I couldn't even remember how this all started.

Yes, I did. We were in the cockpit and she had told me news of Dustil's location.

Dustil was alive, and was training to be a Sith. The thought made me sick to my stomach. I couldn't think about that now. Alora had promised that we would find him when we landed. She was giving me the chance to reunite me with my son, when she could easily tell me that the mission was more important. But she didn't. She was making it a top priority...for me.

I kissed her harder, letting my hunger for her surface in the kiss. Before I knew what I was doing, my hands were on the belt of her robe, tossing it on the floor. I pushed the robe off her shoulders. I took a step back and looked at her. My nickname for her suited her perfectly. Strands of wavy auburn hair, had escaped from her pony tail, flying in all directions. It occurred to me that I had never seen her hair down. I removed the band and watched her hair cascade down her back, resting just above her waist. "Damn, you're beautiful."

In the dark, I could still see her blush, her shy smile. I could see the goosebumps forming on her skin. "You cold?" I whispered, nibbling gently on her earlobe, trailing kisses down her neck to her now bare shoulders.

She giggled nervously. "Not anymore."

I felt her lift my head to look me in the eye. She gently brushed her lips against mine. "Carth...I, um..."

I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "What is it, Beautiful?" I asked, breathing heavily against her lips, toying with the string on her pants.

She looked at me, with uncertainty in her eyes. Was that fear that I saw too? She chewed on her lower lip, which always drove me crazy. "I've...never...done this before." She frowned, a slight pucker of skin between her brows.

I don't know why, but that took me by surprise. She had only been a Jedi for a short time, and she was so beautiful that I couldn't fathom the thought that no one else had got the chance to experience her.

"Carth?" her voice was small, but broke into my thoughts.

Reluctantly, I sighed, picking up the robe from the floor, placing it over her shoulders. I gently rubbed her arms. How could I have been so stupid? I thought as I looked into her pleading eyes. "I'm sorry, Beautiful."

I watched as she pulled the robe tight around her, her face flushed with embarrassment. "Did I do something wrong?" she choked out, avoiding my eyes.

"Hey," I gently lifted her chin, forcing her to look at me.  _ Damn those eyes of yours! _ "No, of course you didn't do anything wrong." I traced her bottom lip with my thumb.

"Then why did you stop?" I had barely heard her, she said it so quietly.

"Trust me, Gorgeous, I don't want to. Believe me,” When she gave me a soft smile, I rested my forehead against hers. "but you're first time,  _ our  _ first time  _ together,  _ shouldn't be in a damn cargo hold on a bunch of crates." I kissed her softly. "No, you're too special for that, Beautiful." I helped her off the crates and helped her put her robe back on., and gathered her in my arms again. "You deserve a soft bed. Not in a dark and dusty room like this." I paused and kissed her again. "You deserve the best."

 

* * *

 

 

_ -Alora- _

 

I couldn't sleep that night. I laid in bed, my own bed, and stared into the darkness. The only sound I could here was the soft snoring coming from Mission. I turned on to my side, my head resting on my arm, and closed my eyes. I thought back to earlier that night.

_ "Did I do something wrong?" _

Carth had looked so...shocked when I told him I was still a virgin.  _ Was I?  _ A lot of my past had somehow been...blocked. I couldn't remember ever having sex, although I couldn't remember not. It was almost as if that particular part of my life had been erased.

The last real memories that I could remember was when I was recruited onto the Endar Spire. Anything before that, was just a blur.

I frowned, trying to remember anything. I had been badly injured when our escape pod crashed on Taris. I bared a tiny scar on my hairline that was barely visible. I wondered if that had something to do with my memory loss.

Sighing heavily, I pushed back my covers, searching into the darkness for my robe. There was no use in trying to fall asleep now.

I pulled my robe around me, tying it around my waist. I exited the crew quarters as quietly as I could, so not to wake my sleeping companions. Entering the common room, surprise hit me as Bastila came into view, seated at the counter, nursing a cup of caffa.

"Since when do you drink caffa?" I asked, leaning on the counter next to her.

She shrugged. "I couldn't sleep. So, I figured this was the next best thing." she took a sip, a disapproving look on her face. "Can't say I like it, however."

I chuckled, straightening up, I took the mug from her, and taking it with me. I pulled the cream out of the refrigerator, and grabbed the sugar, stirring it into her caffa. I handed back to her. "Here, try it now."

She took another sip, and nodded in approval. "Much better. I think you just found my new best friend."

I laughed and reclaimed my seat. "So tell me, why are you up so late? You're usually the first to bed."

She shrugged. "Just...thinking about some things. Nothing to concern yourself with, really."

I rested my chin on my fist. "You look like something is bothering you."

She looked me in the eye. "Am I so transparent? Well, I shouldn't be surprised, considering our bond." she paused, taking another sip of her of the hot liquid. "I have been thinking. I don't think that I'm the proper Jedi to guide you. You've maintained the path of the light, but it's been despite of my influence, not because of it. I think...I think I made a very big mistake."

I furrowed my brow. "I disagree." I paused. "Where did this come from, anyway?"

She didn't respond right away. She pushed her hair out of her eyes, trying to find the correct words. "Your relationship with Carth."

I averted my eyes, my face felt hot. "Look, Bastila, I know the council frowns upon love, but..."

She held up her hand to silence me. "You misunderstand me, Alora. I'm not going to lecture you about this. I've done enough of that in our time together. You know the Code...the consequences that can come from it." she gripped her cup in her hands. "I'm not the proper Jedi to guide you." she repeated.

I looked at her questionably. "I'm sure you're doing the best you can."

Bastila smiled sadly. "That's kind of you to say, but the reality is still there. You should have remained with the council. I've never had much control over my emotions, and watching you it appears that I have even less."

I gave her a knowing look. "Maybe we could help each other."

She traced the rim of the caffa mug with her finger. "That's a kinder response than I deserve. And I can see there is wisdom in your words. Perhaps, you can help me. And I will try to help you if I can. I only hope that you are not the one who pays the price ultimately for the fact that I cannot help you enough."

I started to respond when I felt Carth enter the room. I turned towards him. His hair was wet and clung to his forehead. His eyes still full of sleep. He wore only his sleeping pants and a towel draped around his neck. He looked a little shocked to see us sitting there. "Hey, what's going on?" he walked over and took a seat next to me. He nodded to Bastila.

Bastila cleared her throat. "Well, I think it's time to finally go to bed." she grabbed her mug and placed it in the sink. "Thanks for the caffa, Alora. Goodnight you two."

"Night," we both said as we watched her leave.

When she was gone, Carth turned back to me, smiling. "Hey, Beautiful." he leaned over and kissed me gently on the lips. "What are you doing up? You need your beauty sleep,"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I look that bad?"

He shook his head, still smiling. "Nope, you're still you're gorgeous self." he brushed the hair off my forehead. "Just stating that you look tired."

I shrugged. "Couldn't sleep. What about you?" I stood up and made us both a cup of caffa, sitting Carth's down in front of him.

"Thanks, Gorgeous." he took a sip from his cup. "Couldn't sleep either." He looked over at me, his eyes sparkling. "I was lonely." he kissed me again. I could taste his black caffa on his lips.

"Mmhm." I kissed him back, then pulled back. I drank from my own cup. I wiggled my eyebrows at him. "And who's fault is that, Onasi?"

Carth grinned. "Mine. Because I'm a stupid, stupid man." his face inching towards mine again for another kiss.

I playfully lifted my hand so his lips connected with my palm.

He laughed, throwing his arms around my waist. "That," he whispered, pulling me out of my chair and into his lap. "was not very nice."

I climbed out of his lap, and pulled him up with me. I rested my hands on his chest. "Well, I never claimed to be a very nice person."

He chuckled and kiss the top of my head. "No, I guess you didn't."

I stifled a yawn, hiding it against his chest.

Carth looked down at me, a smile on his face. "Was that a yawn?"

I shook my head, hiding another one. I felt the vibration of his laugh in his chest. "C'mon, Beautiful. Lets get you to bed." He let go of me and picked up our mugs, pouring the remaining liquid into the sink.

He placed a protective arm around my shoulder, leading me to my quarters. He kissed me lightly. "Goodnight, Gorgeous." he turned to head back to his own room.

I stood there for a moment, reluctant to go in. "Carth?"

He turned back towards me. "Yeah, Beautiful?"

I looked at the floor. "Could you...stay with me tonight? Please?"

He smiled as he walked back over to me. "I would, Gorgeous, but I don't think Bastila would approve."

I leaned up and placed tiny, butterfly kisses his chin, batting my eyelashes. "Please?"

Carth closed his eyes, resting his hands on my hip. "Blast it, woman." he sighed. "Alright, Beautiful. I'll stay with you tonight," He kissed me lightly. "but no tempting me into anything else."

I laughed and lead him into the room. I tossed my robe onto my footlocker and pulled him over to my bed.

Carth laid down first, then I crawled in beside him, resting my head on his shoulder and draping an arm over his chest. I kissed him on the cheek. "Goodnight."

He brushed his lips against my forehead. "Goodnight, Beautiful."

It didn't take long for Carth to fall asleep. Listening to his soft breathing soothed me, and I quickly followed him into a peaceful sleep.


	7. Part Seven

_ _-Dantooine-_ _

Malak watched Dantooine crumble under his attack. The sky was painted red from the missile and turret fire. He closed his eyes and listened to the screams of the men, women, and children as they ran, searching for shelter...running from death.

_ You cannot escape me,  he thought, chuckling to himself.  Not even you, Revan. And if you do manage to survive, I will find you. You have been a thorn in my side since you declared yourself Dark Lord of the Sith. The Jedi were not the ones who saved you from death, scrapping away your true identity. They only prolonged the inevitable. _

_ The day you came to me, doubting yourself, was the day I began my plot to betray you. As you betrayed me, so long ago. I destroyed planets for you, built an army for you. Loved you. You denied me. Thus, began redeeming yourself,  you are the true coward, Revan. Hide behind your new identity if you must, but you will never escape your past. _

_ Betrayal. That is the true nature of the Sith, Revan. _

_ The day I declared my love for you, by destroying Telos, you denied me. Called me a coward, threatening to kill me when I sent out my orders. That is when I knew. You were not fit to rule t he Sith. _

_ I remember, watching your face with horror as that pathetic planet went up in smoke.  _ Malak reached up and touched the metal plate on his jaw, or rather, where his jaw should have been.  _ You are strong, Revan. I never denied that. After destroying Telos, when I said I loved you, and kissed you, as I had so many times before, you raised your lightsaber at me, cleanly ripping my mouth from my face. _

_ You will not deny me again. I will have you and Bastila in my grasp soon enough. _

His mechanical laugh filled the air as the walls of the Jedi Enclave buckled, glass shattered, and the settlement collapsed to the ground.

 

* * *

 

Master Vandar stood, hands clasped behind his back. He allowed his head to fall as he watched the remains of the enclave collapse. A single tear trickling down his cheek.

Master Vrook kneeled next to him, bent arm over his knee, his head lowered to his chest. "Zhar...Doorak...the younglings. All gone." his voice cracked with emotion. "How could this happen?"

Vandar turned toward his Jedi brother. "Malak is to blame. How we managed to survive this slaughter..." his voice trailed off into a sad and heavy sigh. "I do not know."

Vrook nodded, and sat down, cross-legged on the floor of the ship. "I have a bad feeling about this." he rubbed his temples, fighting back tears of his own. "I fear Revan has reclaimed..."

"No," Vandar interrupted him, shaking his head. "Revan has not fallen. I have spoken to Bastila of recent events taken place." he allowed himself a small, humorless laugh. "She is in love."

Vrook raised an eyebrow, concern creasing his forehead. "The pilot? This is not good, Vandar. Jedi cannot fall in love." he paused, thinking. "We must ask Admiral Dodonna to pull him from this mission..."

Vandar closed his eyes. "No. That would not be a wise decision. " He called upon the Force. "This...Carth Onasi...is what is keeping Revan on the path of the light. If she loses him..."

Vrook's eyes widened, realization crashing down over him. He finished Vandar's sentence. "She will fall."

The little Jedi Master nodded. "And I fear it will be far worse than her previous journey to the dark side."


	8. Part Eight

_ _-_ Alora- _

 

_ "Stop! Leave him alone!" I screamed as another wave of electricity shot through Carth's containment cell. "You're killing him!" _

_ "That's the plan." _

_ "You're a coward. Your business is with me, not him." I snapped at him. _

_ The man ignored me and continued his torture on Carth. I could sense his pain. His face was twisted in agony and his body writhed against the floor of his cell. Then, his body went limp. _

_ Fear and anger surrounded me. I tried to reach into the Force to sense any life still left in his body. I found nothing. He was gone. I dropped to my knees. "Oh, Carth. I'm so sorry." _

_ Suddenly, everything and everyone was gone. I stood, alone, except for a towering shadow standing before me. I couldn't see him, but I didn't have to ask who he was. "You will pay for what you have done, Malak." I could feel the fear drain from my body, and replace itself with anger and hatred. "You killed innocent people, people I care about." _

_ The laughter that filled the air between us was evil and inhuman. The sound made me shudder. "You always were weak, Revan. Not in a physical way, but quick to care for others. It was when I stopped caring for you that I decided that you were not fit to rule the Sith. It was time to strip you of your title and take it as my own. You cannot defeat me. I  am your weakness. You cannot kill those you love." _

_ If he had a jaw, I could have sworn he was smirking at me. "You are a fool, Malak." I snapped, igniting my lightsaber. "I stopped caring for you long ago." _

_ There was that mechanical laugh again. It was so...evil. And why did he call me Revan? I shuddered as he took a step closer to me. "Oh, that's right. You have found another fool to love. The Republic pilot?" he chuckled evilly. "You've lost your touch, Revan. You could have had me forever, running this pathetic galaxy as we saw fit. But you chose the pilot, the  light  side." he paused, inching even closer to me. "He is gone now, Revan. I will give you one last chance to become my apprentice. We will rule the galaxy as we originally intended...together." _

_ My mind whirled furiously, making me dizzy. I glanced down, my brown Jedi robes were now black, reaching down to my black boots. Clutched in my hands, was a black and red mask, with "T" shaped eye slits. I gasped in horror as I threw the mask against the wall. It splintered into thousands of pieces. I looked back at Malak. _

_ "You cannot escape it." _

_ The mask was in my hand again, fully intact. I screamed. "No!" _

"Beautiful, wake up!"

My eyes shot open and I bolted upright.  _ _Where am I? Who's in my bed with me?_ _

I felt a hand stroke my back gently as I tried to catch my breath. "You okay, Gorgeous?"

I looked to the owner of the voice. "Carth?"

He nodded. "It's okay, I'm here."

I sighed in relief and closed my eyes, bushing the hair out of my face.

"You're trembling. Do you want me to get Jolee? Or Bastila?"

I shook my head as I felt him place a protective arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his chest. I leaned against him and sighed. That's when I realized we were alone. "Where...where is everyone?"

Carth's arms wrapped around my waist. "They woke up a while ago." I felt him chuckle against my back.

"What's so funny?" I asked, placing my arms over his.

"You should have seen the look on Bastila's face when she saw me in bed with you." he laughed again. "Priceless." he leaned down and kiss my neck when I didn't laugh, "What was you're dream about?"

I sighed and rested the back of my head on his shoulder. "I..." I tried to find words to describe it. "I don't know."

"Couldn't have been good. You're still shaking." he kissed my shoulder.

I sighed. "I don't know why..."

"Don't know why what?"

I covered my face with my hands. "I don't know why I keep dreaming about Malak."

Carth shrugged. "Probably because he's the one we're after."

I pulled away from him slightly so I could look him in the face. "I think there's more to it than that...I just don't know what, though." I paused. "This time...He was talking to Revan."

He brushed my hair away from my forehead. "You should probably talk to Bastila, or Jolee. Maybe they can help you figure out what these dreams mean."

I nodded slowly. "I guess you're right."

Carth grinned and tightened his grip on my waist, inching his face towards mine. "Of course I'm right. I'm always right."

I lifted an eyebrow. "Is that right? I seem to recall  _ someone  _ being rather suspicious of me at the beginning of this mission."

He chuckled softly and brushed his lips against mine. "And I told you last night that I was a stupid man. A stupid man who's always right." he kissed me again. "And sometimes the stupid part out weighs the always right part."

I gently tugged at the two strands of hair that always fell across his forehead. "You really are a typical male. Just when I think you've surpassed normal primitive behavior..."

"Typical male? Primitive behavior? Those sound like fighting words, Gorgeous." Carth's grinned widened. "What do you say? Saber verses blaster?"

I smirked. "There are things I could do that a blaster could not, flyboy."

"Oh yeah?" His brown eyes sparkled mischievously. "Well, I might be willing to take you up on that offer."

My heart fluttered at the challenge. "Well, then, what are you waiting for?" I dared him to move.

Carth gently grabbed the back of my head and kissed me passionately, his other hand cupping my neck.

I unconsciously wrapped my arms around his waist, drawing him closer to me.

He broke the kiss, only long enough to lift my shirt over my head and tossed it on the floor. He nibbled at my bottom lip as my hands slid into his hair.

I felt him gently push me back onto the bed, situation my pillow under my head. "Comfortable?" he asked me, breathlessly.

I only nodded, tracing his lips with my fingertips, trailing it down his chin, neck, chest, and stopping at the elastic of his pajama pants.

We stared at each other for what seemed like eternity, before our lips met again.

 

* * *

 

 

_ -Carth - _

 

Suddenly the Ebon Hawk shook viciously, causing us both to fall onto the cold, hard metal floor.

"Are you alright?" I asked, frantically scrambling to my feet and over to help her up. I gently pulled her to her feet and handed her shirt to her. "I told that brainless Mandalorian not to drink while he's manning the controls."

Alora nodded and pulled the shirt back over her head.

My commlink went off. "Republic, we have a situation! We're caught in some fracking retractor beam. Get your ass in here!"

Alora ran to her footlocker and slid on a clean robe, and clipped her double-bladed lightsaber to her belt.

Running into the men's crew quarters, changed as quickly as I could, grabbing my jacket and my holster, snapping it around my waist before racing into the cockpit.

Canderous stepped away from the pilot's seat so I could get to the controls. I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Do you know this ship?" Bastila asked, appearing out of no where.

I nodded, in complete disbelief. I crossed my arms over my chest. "That's the Leviathan. Saul Karath's flagship." I leaned back in my seat. "My old mentor."

"Can you get us out?" Alora asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"No."

"Carth..." she sighed.

"I can't! Even if I wanted to, we're too close to the ship now. It would damage the Hawk beyond repair if I tried." I looked up at her. Her beautiful eyes were full of concern. "Don't worry, Gorgeous. I won't do anything stupid." I squeezed the hand that she had placed on my shoulder and kissed her knuckles. I stood and we left the cockpit and joined everyone in the common room.

"We need a game plan," Bastila urged, shooting daggers at Alora and I. "The admiral probably doesn't know how many of us there are on the ship. The three of us," she gestured towards me, Alora, and herself. "should confront him. But we will need someone to rescue us if thing's...go wrong."

I could tell Alora's wheel's were turning in her mind, her eyes darted from each of our companions and they rested on Mission. "Mission should do it," she murmured. "No cell can hold her."

The little twi'lek's eyes beamed happily.

Parental instincts took over and I shook my head. "It's too dangerous. She's just a kid!"

Mission narrowed her eyes at me. "I am  _ _not_ _ a kid!" she snapped. Her eyes turned pleading. "I can do this, you guys. Please?"

Zaalbar growled. [I don't like it.]

She reached over and squeezed the Wookiee's massive paw. "I'll be fine. I can handle myself." she turned back to Alora and me and nodded. "I can do it."

I sighed. Of course, I knew she could do it. "Mission, I know you're more than capable...I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"Well, you're not my father. So I don't have to listen to you." she stuck her tongue out at me.

Juhani sighed. "We don't have time for this. Mission does seem to be the more likely candidate."

"It's settled then." Bastila stated, folding her arms. "Alright, Mission. You can do it."

Mission jumped up and down and clapped her hands. "Yes!"

"The rest of you," Alora instructed. "keep your commlinks on and ready. Keep in touch with us and alert us if anything goes wrong."

The Ebon Hawk landed with a heavy thud as we docked with the Leviathan. I clasped my hands together, adrenaline rushing through me. "Alright, we're about to have company. Get into position - stay alert!" I yelled out as everyone scattered. "And be careful!"

I grabbed Alora before she took off and gathered her in my arms and kissed her fiercely. "We'll finish where we left off later, Beautiful."

 

* * *

 

 

_ -Alora- _

 

"Nice game plan, Bastila!" I said sarcastically, through gritted teeth.

We huddled close together as a squadron of Sith troopers circled us like a school of hungry firaxans. My back was pressed against Carth's, and Bastila at our sides.

"Well, how was I supposed to know there would be hundreds of Sith on this ship!" she snapped.

"Does the word 'duh' mean anything to you?" I snapped back at her, lifting my lightsaber, daring one of the troopers to move towards us.

I felt Carth laugh against my back. "Who did you think Saul works for, Bastila? The Galactic Uniform Corp? No, he works for Malak. The Sith. I thought you knew everything."

I snorted a laugh. "Nice one, flyboy."

He stole a sideways glance at me. "Thanks, Gorgeous."

"I'm glad the two of you find this situation so amusing," Bastila sighed as one of the troopers moved in on her. "Now, if you're done having fun at my expense, we have a situation here that is in dire need of solving."

"Whatever you say, Princess." I moved forward, calling upon the Force to hurtle me over to the other side of the troopers, and landed behind them. I used my lightsaber to block the oncoming blaster fire back towards them. A few of them went down, and the others advanced on Carth. "Behind you, flyboy!"

Carth spun around and fired his twin blasters, nailing one to the head and the other directly in the chest. "Thanks, Beautiful." he flashed me quick, grateful smile before putting another shot into a troopers temple. "To your left, Gorgeous."

Without turning, I sensed the approach and impaled my lightsaber into his chest. I heard his grunt and the sickening thud as his lifeless body hit the hard, metal floor. I shuddered.

"Twenty down, two hundred to go?" Bastila asked to no one in particular.

"Appears so," Carth grunted as he slid his blasters back into the holsters. "Okay...that hurt."

 

* * *

 

 

_ _-Carth-_ _

 

I shrugged out of my jacket and checked the blaster wound I had taken to the shoulder. With all of the excitement, I had barely noticed it. I winced as my muscles contracted against my movements.

Alora rushed over to me, her eyes full of concern. "Are you okay?" she knelt beside me and examined the wound. She ripped the sleeve off my undershirt and wrapped it around my arm.

I grinned at her, and leaned towards her to whisper in her ear. "Remember to do that the next time we're alone, Beautiful. That was kind of hot."

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Shut up and hold still."

She gently placed her hands on my arm. Her cool hands against my warm skin felt wonderful. I felt a cool, tingling sensation spread through my shoulder down to my hands.

When she was finished, I rolled my shoulder, the pain was completely gone. I smiled at her, amazed. "Thanks, Beautiful."

She kissed my cheek. "Anytime, flyboy."

Alora gently held my arms and pulled me to my feet. I scanned the room, relief rushing over me as I spotted a door near a computer terminal. "Over there."

We ran over to the door, which was, of course, locked. I turned towards the terminal, using my computer spikes to slice into the Leviathan's security controls. I scanned the camera. "The coast is clear beyond this door, but there are several patrols scattered throughout various rooms and hallways." I corrupted a couple of conduits and sent a number of the patrols down. One image made me stop.

I could feel my anger boil inside me. A Sith trooper was escorting Mission into a holding cell. I could see her lips moving and the son of a kath hound raised his blaster to her temple. "Don't you do it." I sneered through clenched teeth.

Alora walked up behind me and gasped. "Mission!"

The guard lowered his blasted and shoved Mission into the cell, shutting the door behind him. I noticed a smug look on her blue face and saw something in her hand. "She's got the passkey." I snorted. "Didn't even see her take it from his pocket." I smiled proudly. "That's my girl."

Alora smiled too, relived. "She's damn good."

Using the last of my computer spikes, I opened the blast door and we ran inside. Within mere seconds, alarms and sirens were going we found ourselves trapped in a ray shield. I silently kicked myself for not having enough computer spikes to disable the shields.

Within seconds, a group of troopers surrounded us again, weapons drawn. I glanced over at my Jedi companions, who still had their lightsabers out and ready for action.

That's when I heard an all too familiar voice.


	9. Part Nine

_ -Carth- _

 

I heard the voice, demanding the troopers to step aside.

Instinctively, my hands went to my sides and grabbed my blasters out of their holsters. "Karath."

Admiral Saul Karath, my old mentor, smiled sadistically at me. "Carth Onasi. It's been far too long. I see time has not been in your favor. I barely recognized you." he paused and his face almost resembled the man I used to admire. "I had only hoped this reunion would have been of you coming to your senses and join the winning side."

I snorted. "You're a fool, Saul. You betrayed the Republic when you attacked my home world." I sucked in a ragged breath, and felt Alora place a warm hand on my arm. I gently shrugged her off, my hate for the man standing before me taking me over. "My wife died in that attack, Saul. And I swear I'll kill you for that."

"Did you learn nothing in you're time under me?" Karath growled. "That was an act of war. You know that there are casualties involved. The Sith wouldn't accept me until I proved that I had turned my back on the Republic."

I lashed out, but was slightly electrocuted by the ray shield. "It was a cowardly act of betrayal!" I yelled. "My wife, and all of the innocent people on Telos – on Taris – their blood is on  _ your  _ hands!"

"You used to be a man of action, not of empty threats. I thought I had taught you better than this."

"The only thing you taught me was betrayal."

"Enough!" he yelled, reaching over to a nearby control panel. Poisonous gases were released from the vents beneath us. We tried as hard as we could not to inhale the fumes, but it was too late.

"Put them into the torture cells. I must alert Lord Malak that they have been captured. I will be along shortly." He turned back to us, his face triumphant. "Now you will witness first hand how we Sith use our interrogation techniques."

That was the last thing we heard before losing consciousness.

 

* * *

 

 

_ -Alora- _

 

Hours later, we awoke in the torture cells. I tried to sit up, but my head was pounding, it felt like a pack of wild banthas had trampled around in my skull. "Damn poison grenades." I laid back down and pinched the bridge of my nose.

Carth snorted. "Leaves a bad taste in your mouth doesn't it?"

I nodded, noticing the cotton-like texture in my mouth. "Reminds me of your morning breath, flyboy."

I heard what seemed to be a giggle come from Bastila's cell.

Carth winked at me, then turned a serious, angry look for Bastila and turned to her. "You think that's funny, huh, Princess?"

Bastila groaned. "I'm glad to see that nickname that Canderous gave me is catching on."

I finally managed to stand up and frowned. In lack of a better description, my Jedi senses tingled. "Shh," I instructed. "Someone comes."

The door opened, and Saul Karath entered, a pleased look on his face, with another Sith soldier who was clad in their traditional silver and black armor. "Well, it appears that it is your lucky day. Malak wants you alive."

Carth started to say something, but Karath interrupted him. "Shut up. You are an insignificant part of this anyway. Malak is more interested in your Jedi companions." he turned towards me. "And you're previous history with him..."

I frowned. "My history? What are you talking about, Karath?"

_ Was that a look of panic on Bastila's face? _

Karath laughed. "You mean...you don't know?" his laughter became louder. "It cannot be true. Well, I will not deprive Malak of the pleasure. The Dark Lord will no doubt torture you for information, and for his own twisted pleasure. Eventually you will tell him everything. The Sith can be very persuasive." he paused and looked at each of us carefully. "However, Lord Malak is in another sector. It will be some time before he arrives. So I guess I will have to take his place until he arrive." He turned to his lackey. "Activate the torture field!"

Electricity shot through our cages and into us. I felt my knees begin to buckle beneath me as the white-hot pain shot through me. A scream tore through my throat. The pain was awful.

I could hear the tortured screams of my friends, they were louder than my own. I tried to feel into the Force and send a wave of healing power to them. Nothing.  _ _Just great_ _ , I thought as another wave of pain shot through me.  _ _These cages are Force resistant._ _

"Enough," I heard the admiral say. "I don't want them to pass out before question them. Lord Malak will be pleased with whatever information I can give him."

"Don't waist your breath, Saul. We won't answer your questions." Carth snapped. I could feel the anger roll from him.

"I'm sure you won't. However, we both know that your friend's loyalties have been somewhat...flexible in the past."

I closed my eyes, trying to control my own anger. "My loyalty is as true as Carth's."

Saul grinned. "Well, then it is time to put your loyalties to the test. I doubt torture will gain me your true cooperation, your will is too strong to be broken that way." he paused and shot a quick glance to Carth. "However, even the strongest of heroes have trouble watching the ones they care about suffering."

I looked over at Carth helplessly.

"The interrogation will begin now. Each time you fail to answer a question, or give a false answer, Carth will suffer,"

"You don't have to do this, Saul. Torture me all you want, just please don't hurt him."

Carth looked at me, pained. "My pain is meaningless. Tell him nothing."

Saul groaned. "I tire of these games. Now I want answers! On what planet is the Jedi Academy in which you trained?"

"Piss off, Karath."

"Very well." He sent a wave of electricity through Carth's cell. He screamed, his face twisted in pain, he grabbed the side of his head.

I felt my hands form into tight fists, leaving crescent moon shaped indents on my palm. I looked over at Bastila, unable to look at Carth. She averted my gaze.

"Enough." I turned my attention back to the admiral. I could hear Carth's heavy breathing ringing in my ears. "Again, where is the Academy in which you trained?"

I allowed myself to look over at Carth again, fear gripping my heart. He was looking at me, sitting on his knees. His mouth moved silently but no sounds came out. But his eyes spoke volumes.  _ It hurts, but please don't let him force you to put our mission at risk because of me. _

"Alderaan." I lied, hearing my voice crack. "The Academy is on Alderaan."

Karath snorted. "That question was a test. We already know that the academy is on Dantooine. And it has since been destroyed by our fleet."

Bastila snapped her head over to look at him, then at me.

"No, you're lying." I barked out through clenched teeth.

"It doesn't matter if you believe me or not. Dantooine is nothing more than an empty graveyard now. Nothing remains but a smoking ruin and the charred remains of your former Masters!" he paused. "Now, tell me your mission. How were the Jedi planning to use you to stop Malak and our Sith armada?"

I glared at him. "I won't betray the Jedi."

His eyes narrowed. "Maybe a reminder will make you see a little more clearly." Another bolt of electricity shot through Carth.

"Do you not hear his suffering? You can spare him further pain by simply telling me what I want to know."

"You're a sick and evil man Saul Karath." At this, he intensified the torture. "Stop! You're going to kill him!"

"That's the plan."

I watched in horror as Carth's lifeless body crumpled to the floor of his cell. My knees finally gave way and I landed on all fours. _Just like my dream..._

"I'm surprised he didn't pass out sooner. Never before have I seen someone withstand so much without losing consciousness after so long. I see I will not get any answers from you, so I will leave you with a taste of the pain that Lord Malak himself will inflict and you will see that my interrogations were merciful to others."

"You will pay for this, Karath," I managed to stammer out.

The only response I got was the white-hot pain of the torture fields, electricity rushing through my body until I lost consciousness.

 

* * *

 

 

_ -Carth- _

 

_ I will kill you, Karath.  _ I wasn't sure how long I had been out, but when I finally came to, Bastila was already meditating, sitting cross-legged in her cell. I glanced over to Alora. The electricity was still flowing through her cage, she was laying face down on the floor, unmoving, except for each shock that flowed, her body would jerk violently.

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked, sitting up, ignoring how badly my body ached from the torture.

Bastila opened her eyes. "She's...alive. If that's what you're asking."

"Can't you use your Force Heal thing?" I asked lamely. I could feel the panic rising through me.  _ Why do I feel like I'm losing Morgana all over again? _

The Jedi shot a look at me. "The Force is not a  _ t hing _._ _ Besides," she let out a long and heavy sigh. "these cages are Force Immune. There's nothing I can do."

Under any other circumstances, I would have probably been considered the luckiest man in the galaxy. Before throwing us into the containment cells, Saul's men had stripped us of all of our belongings, including our clothing. I tried my best to be a gentleman and not look at Alora. And it wasn't easy.

Suddenly, I remembered part of the conversation between Saul and Alora.  _ Considering your history with Lord Malak... _ For some reason those words stuck in my mind. I turned back to Bastila. "What did Saul mean about Alora's history with Malak?"

She visibly paled, her mouth opening and closing like a fish fighting for breath. Just as she was was about to answer, movement from Alora's cell cut her off. Relief flooded through me and I completely forgot the conversation. "Thank god."

"Don't try to move to quickly," Bastila whispered to her. "you may not be fully recovered yet. The Sith continued their torture on you, even after you passed out."

"They tortured all of us," I sighed as I watched her try to sit up but failing. "although, you got the worst of it by far." I wanted nothing more to rush over to her and comfort her. "Saul's become some sort of a...sadistic monster."

Alora finally managed to pull herself into a sitting position, but was having a hard time holding her head up. I could see her struggle to breath.

"He has been perverted by the dark side, Carth. Once you start down the tainted path, it leads you further into the depths of evil. I fear he is lost forever."

"No one...is...without hope...of redemption." I heard Alora force out raggedly.

Bastila sighed. "Yes, hmmm. I suppose you are correct. I guess I'm taking the destruction of Dantooine a little hard. It's hard to believe that's it gone. Vrook, Vandar, Zhar..." her voice trailed off and tears formed in her eyes.

"Maybe...he...was lying."

Bastila gave a short laugh. "I would like to think that Karath was lying to us, but even as he said the words, I knew they were true. The Academy is gone." she sighed. "At any rate, we've lost our only refuge in the galaxy."

"None of this will matter if we don't get the hell out of here before Malak arrives." I said.

"Where is the admiral now?" Alora asked, finally able to catch her breath.

"He went to inform the Dark Lord of our capture, and to prepare for his arrival." Bastila answered, pushing her mass of brown hair out of her face. She looked at me, but spoke to Alora. "It is fortunate that you were able to withstand Saul's interrogation. The smallest bit of information may have cost us the mission."

I couldn't take it any longer. I had to tell her. "I, uh, have to confess something."

Alora and Bastila looked at me, trying to read me.

"There was a moment – just a moment – when I was hoping you would tell the admiral what he wanted to know..." I sighed, ashamed "Just to make the horrible pain stop."

Alora's eyes filled with regret. "I'm sorry, Carth. Watching you suffer tore me apart."

I smiled, despite myself. "No, I know you would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. You couldn't betray our cause." I looked directly into her eyes. "I'm glad you were strong. But if it had been me...watching you suffer like that..." I sighed again and rubbed the back of my sore neck. "I might have cracked."

Bastila frowned at me, but I didn't care. Suddenly, she had a strange look on her face, and turned back to Alora. "Did you feel that? A disturbance in the Force. Karath has sent his message. Lord Malak is coming."

I stood, on shaky legs. "Well, let's just hope Mission busts us out of here before he gets here."

Moments later, as if on cue, the doors to opened and our little blue Twi'lek friend entered with a smile that should have split her face in two. "Hi guys, sorry I'm late." she walked over and pulled a lever that opened our cages. Canderous, Jolee, and Juhani ran into the room behind her.

I rushed over to Alora and helped her up, her body was still shaking uncontrollably, and allowed her to lean on me. "If I remember the layout of this ship correctly, our equipment should be in the next room." I stole a glance down at Alora, and felt my face grow hot. "And, um, yeah. Get dressed."

Canderous grinned. "Nice undies, ladies."

Color cascaded across both Jedi's cheeks.

Mission picked the lock and we ran inside and gathered our belongings, shoving everything in packs, keeping out only the things we needed. We each dressed in the appropriate armor, grabbing medpacs and stims.

"Alright, what's the plan?" Canderous asked, hoisting the heavy pack on his heavy shoulders.

"Someone needs to get to the Ebon Hawk and get her started. But no doubt it's going to be under heavy lockdown." Alora stated, thinking out loud. "While the rest of us head to the bridge so we can get off this ship."

"Don't worry about that," Canderous said, glancing at Alora and Bastila. For some reason I couldn't shake the fact that he still had a mental picture of the girls in their underwear. He gestured towards Mission, Juhani, and Jolee. "We'll get to the Hawk and get 'er started." he looked over at me. "You're the pilot, you comin' with us?"

I shook my head. "Not a chance. I have a score to settle with the Admiral before we leave. Let's get going."

 

* * *

 

 

_ -Alora- _

 

When we reached the bridge, Karath and a bunch of his soldiers were waiting for us. His eyes narrowed when we walked through the door. "Malak would have preferred live prisoners, but I suppose corpses will have to do."

Shots were fired, and we sprang into action. Leaping through the air, I headed towards the two Dark Jedi standing near Saul. I took the first one down easily, but the second was a hell of a fighter. Every move I made, he counteracted, every Force power I used, he stuck back with another. I used the Force to feel throughout the room, the only ones still standing were me, Carth, Bastila, The Dark Jedi I was fighting, and Saul Karath.

"Die already!" I screamed at the Dark Jedi. Having had enough, I leaped behind him and cut him down, just as a Saul pulled the trigger of his blaster, catching me in the side. I cried out in pain. I managed to get out a Force Push before I landed on the floor, sending Saul flying back against the ship's control center.

"Alora!"

I heard Carth and Bastila shout my name and I tried to pull myself off the floor, and push the body of the Dark Jedi off of me.

Bastila rushed over to me. "Are you alright?"

I nodded. "I'm fine." I looked over at Carth and gasped. His face was bright red and his chest heaved in anger. I stood, with Bastila's help, and grabbed his jacket as he brushed by. "Carth...please, it's not worth it."

He roughly pulled his arm free from my fingers. "He's hurt too many of the people I care about. This is my fight, Alora. Please stand down."

When I didn't move, he growled and pushed past me, and fired, nailing Saul directly in the chest. He was crumpled on the floor. "Carth...come closer. Must...tell you...something..."

I tried to move away from Bastila, but she kept a tight grip on me. "Sit still. I need to heal you before you bleed to death." With both of our Force powers depleted, she injected a kolto pack into my side.

I watched as Carth leaned down to Saul. He whispered something in Carth's ear. The only thing that I could make out was "You didn't know did you?"

I closed my eyes as Carth raised his blaster and sent another shot into admiral's head. "No, no. It can't be true. Damn you, Saul.  _ _Damn you!"_ _

I looked to Bastila, who's face paled.

"Bastila it's true isn't it? You knew this entire time! You and the whole damn Jedi Council!"

"Carth, please you don't understand –"

"So make me understand."

Finally able to stand on my own, I held my side and tried to heal myself, and it left me exhausted. "What's going on? What did he say?"

Carth glared at me, then turned back to Bastila. The look in his eye scared me.  _ That's the same look he gave Saul. _

"Carth, please, this isn't the time nor the place. Malak is approaching. We need to get the Ebon Hawk and get out of here before the Dark Lord arrives. Then I'll explain everything to you." she looked over at me. "To the both of you. Please, you have to trust me."

His eyes narrowed, and he wouldn't look at me. "Alright, I'll trust you, Bastila, but when we get out of here I want some answers!"

We left the bridge in silence and made our way back to the elevator. I could feel Carth keep stealing glances at me, but I had the feeling he wasn't checking on my injury. When I would catch his glance, he would turn away.

We headed up the ramp and all stopped in our tracks. A tall figure stood in our way.

_Malak._


	10. Part Ten

_-Alora-_

 

My commlink beeped and Caderous' voice echoed against the metal walls of the Leviathan. _"This is Canderous. We've reached the Ebon Hawk. As we figured, it was under heavy guard. But no worries, we took care of 'em. We're just waiting on you now."_

I had to laugh at the irony. Malak was standing in the way of our only exit.

"Darth Malak!" I heard Bastila say through gritted teeth, igniting her lightsaber.

Carth lifted his blasters and fired. "Down you go!"

If it hadn't been for the severity of the situation, I would have laughed at Carth's attempt at a threat. Malak lifted a hand and sent Carth flying backwards.

I wanted to run to him, to make sure he was okay, but fear held me in place. Not because of Malak's presence, but the fear that Carth still had that look in his eye that he had developed after Saul's death on the bridge. I wanted to know what Saul said to him.

"I hope you're not thinking of leaving so soon, Bastila. Not after all of the time and energy I've spent trying to find you and your companions to let you get away from me now," He turned towards me. "Besides, I had to see for myself if it were true. Tell me, why did the Jedi spare you? Is it vengeance you seek at this reunion?"

I frowned in confusion, glancing at Carth and Bastila, who both averted their eyes. I turned back to Malak. "Reunion? What are you talking about?"

Malak laughed. "You mean you don't know?" his laughter grew louder. "You haven't figured it out? I wonder how long you would have stayed blind to the truth. Surely, some of what you once were must have surfaced by now. Not even the combined power of the Jedi could bury your true identity forever."

Suddenly, my mind whirled with images and flashbacks. I couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. I fell to my knees.

_Bastila stood in a clearing on Dantooine's lush meadow. "The Jedi does not believe in killing their prisoners. No one deserves execution, no matter what they're crimes."_

_The image of Bastila and the meadow faded away and I was back at the Jedi Enclave with Master Zhar. "Normally, the Council does not accept an adult for training. But you are a special case."_

_Zhar flickered away as his image was replaced by Carth. We were back on Taris in our abandoned apartment. "They say that the Force can do terrible things to a mind. They say it can destroy a mind and strip away your very identity."_

_Bastila returned. "Tatooine. Kashyyyk. Manaan. Korriban. Revan visited each of these planets to reveal the locations of the Star Forge." her voice became gentle and she smiled sadly. "What greater weapon is there than to turn your enemy to you cause? To use their own knowledge against them?"_

_She transformed again, this time into Master Vrook, his face and tone both harsh. "The lure of the dark side is hard to resist. I fear this quest for the Star Forge...may lead you down an all too familiar path."_

_Then everyone was gone and I stood alone, on top of a temple. No, I wasn't alone. Standing before me, cloaked figure, clad in a black robe. Who ever it was, I couldn't see their face. The hood of the robe was pulled low over a black and red mask. The person, or whatever it was, had a small structure, but the robes made for a menacing facade. I took a hesitant step forward._

_They turned towards me. Slowly, they lifted their hands and removed the mask. I stumbled back and gasped._

"You cannot hide from what you once were, Revan! Recognize that you were once the Dark Lord of the Sith. And know that I have taken your place."

Malak's voice brought me back to the present. I sucked in a ragged breath. "No," I managed to struggle out. "I...I don't believe you."

"You do not yet remember, Revan? The Jedi set a trap for you. They boarded your ship in an assassination attempt. They reprogrammed your mind, turning you against your own followers."

"No...no I don't believe you."

He laughed. "You must have seen flashes of your old life in your dreams. Memories bubbling to the surface? Surely, you remember the battle in which you were captured."

The images of Bastila and Revan engaged in a vicious battle, lightsaber to lightsaber, flooded in my mind. I cringed. "How...how could they manage to capture someone as powerful as Revan?"

"I helped them, Revan. I knew that the title of the Dark Lord would someday be mine. When the Jedi docked on your ship, I knew my day had come. I thought I could destroy all of my enemies in one, glorious battle. I never thought that they would take you from the wreckage. Origionally, I thought you had died in battle. Imagine my surprise when I found out that you were still alive!"

My chest felt like it was caving in, and I wanted to beat my head against the metal floor. "Bastila...is this true?"

She lowered her head. "It's true. I was part of the strike team that was sent to capture Revan...to capture  _you._  When Malak fired on your ship, you were badly injured. We thought you were dead." she sighed. "Your mind was badly damaged, but I used the Force to preserve the flicker of life in your body. We brought you back to the Council and they were the ones who healed your damaged mind."

I stood, finally, on shaky legs. I had to put my hand on the wall to steady myself. "Then...why don't I remember being Revan?"

Malak snorted. "The Jedi did not restore your wounded mind, Revan. They simply reprogrammed it with a new identity, One loyal to the Republic. They tried to make you their slave!"

I looked towards Bastila. "Why not just let me die?" I asked, pain in my voice.

"The Jedi hold all life sacred..." she paused. "Even that of a Sith Lord." her voice became gentle, almost sad. "I couldn't just let you die, Revan. Not when it was possible to save you."

Having Bastila refer to me as "Revan" made my skin crawl and I suddenly felt nauseous. "You...you've been lying to me this entire time!" I snarled at Bastila. "You should have just let me die!"

She was taken aback. "I wanted to tell you but the Council forbid it! They were afraid if you knew your real identity, you would return to the darkside."

Anger and rage flowed through me, but I didn't know who to unleash it against. My eyes roamed from Bastila, to Malak, then back to Bastila. I took a step towards her. "You should have let me die." I repeated, my fists clenching in anger.

"Now you know the truth, Revan. The Jedi failed at making you their pawn." he paused, and right then I wanted nothing more to finish the job done on his face. "Which side will you choose?"

Through our bond, Bastila spoke to me. _"You can hate me if you want. But don't stray down this path. If not for me, or the Council, do it for yourself and Carth!"_

I had almost forgotten Carth was even there. I took a chance and looked over to him. I couldn't read his emotions. But his eyes were plastered on me, and they spoke of fear, confusion, and hatred.

 _He hates me._ "I destroyed his life, his family. He will never trust me again." My heart felt like it was being melted in carbonite as that realization flooded me. "Who can blame him?"

 _"Please,"_ Bastila pleaded. _" After all we've been through, at least recite the Jedi Code with me."_

"What good will that due? It won't change anything."

 _"Humor me."_ she whispered. _"There is no emotion..."_

"Bastila..."

"Please."

I sighed. _"There is peace."_

_"There is no ignorance..."_

_"There knowledge."_

_"There is no passion..."_

I looked over at Carth, who realized just how wrong that line was, but I recited it anyway.

_"There is serenity."_

_"There is no chaos..."_

_"There is harmony."_

_"There is no death..."_

"There is the Force." I said the last words out loud, without realizing it. I closed my eyes, feeling strangely calm by the code. "I understand, Bastila, you had no other choice." I turned to her and she smiled. "Thank you."

Malak's eyes widened in disbelief. "Forgiveness, Revan? You are weak. I was right to have betrayed you. You are not fit to rule the Sith." he glared at me. "Now, we will finish this in ancient Sith tradition. Master verses apprentice, as it was meant to be."

He through his hands up and put both Bastila and Carth in a strais field. He ignited his lightsaber, and waved his finger at me, daring me to move.

Using the Force, I leapt towards him, igniting my lightsaber in mid-air. Blue and red clashed together in a whirlwind of movement. We circled each other for several moments. Then he spoke. "A small part of me always regretted betraying you," he said, barely breathing hard. "Most thought that i did it out of fear, that I didn't want to face you," he made a sweep at me and I blocked it easily. "Now there will be no doubt of my ability after I kill you."

"Kill me?" I asked, blocking another sweep. "You seem to be forgetting that I'm still alive!"

With that, he sent me flying backwards, landing between Carth and Bastila. He ran, a coward. I followed.

When I found him again, he was waiting for me behind a blast door. Without hesitation, he was on me in seconds, holding me to the ground, his lightsaber at my throat. He lowered his face to mine. "You should have never denied me, Revan. We could have ruled this pathetic galaxy together.

To my surprise, his eyes looked sad for a moment and he nuzzled my neck. I shivered and tried to push him away.

"I loved you," he stated, lifting his lightsaber. "and now you will die by that of a hand that loved you." he lowered his voice. "Then I will kill your friend out there. You care for him now, don't you?"

I spit at him. "You don't know the first thing about love, Malak."

He touched his metal jaw. "That's where you're wrong."

Suddenly, the blast doors opened and Bastila stood, lightsaber ready for action. Carth stood behind her, blasters focused on Malak.

"You cannot win, Malak." she sneered at him. Catching him off guard, she sent him flying backwards against the wall.

I took this as my chance and ran. "Bastila, come on!"

"No, you guys get the Ebon Hawk. Find the Star Forge." she smiled at us. "I'll be alright."

The blast doors closed. I tried as hard as I could to get the door opened. "Bastila, no!"

Carth placed a hand on my shoulder and spun me around. I panicked. "We...we have to save Bastila."

His eyes bored into me. "Bastila sacrificed herself so we could escape." he gave me a shove, and not a gentle one, towards the exit. "Come on!"

 

* * *

 

 

_-Carth-_

 

When we reached the Ebon Hawk, Canderous, as promised, had the ship ready to take off. As soon as the loading ramp closed, and we were safely inside, the ship lurched forward and left the Leviathan, causing us to stumbled on top of each other.

I groaned and pulled my self to my feet. Instinctively, I reached down to help her up, but then the events that just occurred made me recoil it back to my side.  _Thing's aren't the same. She's the former Dark Lord of the Sith. She's the reason you're wife is dead and your son is on Korriban._

She pulled herself to knees, looking hurt. Her normally lively eyes were dull and pooling with unshed tears. I fought off the urge to comfort her, and kicked myself that I allowed the feeling to still be there. "Well?"

I frowned, crossing my arms over my chest. "Well what?"

"You're fingering your blasters." her voice cracked. "Why don't you do it? I know you really want to." she paused and gave me a sad smile. "You said so yourself." she looked down at the floor. "I wouldn't blame you."

I grabbed her wrist, more roughly than I indented to, but my blood was boiling and I couldn't contain the rage I felt. "We have more important things to worry about right now. I won't put my blaster to your head until you give me a reason to." I paused. "Although right now, you're right, I do want to."

I ignored the voice in my head that told me I was being too harsh on her. Right now, I didn't care. I pulled her into the common room, where everyone was waiting on us.

"Where's Bastila? What happened?" Jolee asked, standing from his position on the floor.

"Malak's got her." I answered, then turned to Alora. No. Not Alora. _Revan._ "So," I started harshly, do you want to tell them what Malak said, or should I?"

She snatched her arm out of my grasp. I had forgotten I still had a hold of it. "I don't care what Malak said! I know who I am!"

I stood, arms crossed, as I waited for the outraged reactions from the rest of the crew members. "C'mon, _Revan_." I spat her name like a curse. "Tell 'em!"

I wasn't anticipating the slap to the face I got from her. It didn't feel good.

__


	11. Part Eleven

_-Revan-_

  


I ran to my quarters, slamming and locking the door behind me. My hand stung from slapping Carth. I hadn't meant to do it, of course, but I couldn't stop myself. He was saying all of these harsh things and…

I slid down to floor, my back still pressed against the door, and pulled my knees to my chest. I ignored the knocking and Mission's soft pleas to open the door. Instead, I snaked my arms around my legs and buried my head in my knees.

I was grateful that the others had come to my defense, but none of it mattered if I didn't have Carth's support. But of course, I couldn't blame him at all for his hatred for me. I had ruined his life, before I even knew him, and didn't recall any of it. Hell, I wished Malak had killed me back at the Leviathan. At least I wouldn't feel anything anymore.

"Alora..." Mission whispered through the door. "Please let me in. You don't need to be alone right now."

I deserve to be alone forever.

"The geezer doesn't know what he's talking about..." she continued. "He'll come around."

_I wish that were true, Mission._

I heard her sigh loudly. "Well, if you need me, you know where to find me. I left some food out here if you get hungry..." then I heard the soft patter of her footsteps as she walked away.

 _Why did I have to be Revan? Why couldn't Bastila just have let me die back then?_ A lightsaber to the chest couldn't hurt as much as I was at this point.

I finally stood and walked over to my bed, giving a quick glance to the bed that Bastila had used and let out a long, drawn out sigh. I hoped we found her before Malak killed her. Or worse.

I picked up my bantha doll and hugged it to my chest. It still smelled like Carth. I fought the urge to rip it to shreds, and placed it back on bed.

I peeled out of the blood-stained robes and tossed them on the floor. Pulling back the covers, I crawled into bed and hugged my bantha again, and wallowed in my self pity. _Well, I thought, at least one thing good came from the Leviathan. At least Bastila's not here to see me and lecture me about how these thoughts would lead to the darkside._  


* * *

 

_-Carth-_

I stormed out of the common room and headed to the cockpit, ignoring the looks I was getting from everyone. _How can they possibly think it's alright that she's the former Sith Lord?_ Was I the only one on the entire ship that had any sense? What if she returned to the darkside? What if she had _already_ turned to the darkside and was planning on turning on us when we reached Korriban?

I don't know when Jolee joined me in the cockpit, but I practically jumped out of my skin when he spoke.

"You really think she's going to turn to the dark side, do you?" he asked.

I sighed. "What do you want, old man?" I tried to focus my attention on manning the controls.

"I was hoping to have a civil conversation with you, but all of you young people are far too stubborn for that." the older Jedi chuckled slightly to himself.

I raked a hand through my hair. "Why didn't you tell anyone if you knew who she was, Jolee? I mean, if no one else, why not me? Considering the relationship we..." I stopped.

Jolee raised an eyebrow. "You don't think the entire crew knows how close the two of you are?"

"Were." I corrected harshly. "Whatever was there before...it's gone now."

"Is it?" Jolee asked sincerely.

I sighed again. "It has to be."

"Why?"

I threw my hands up in frustration. "Gee, I don't know. Because she's _Revan!_ She and Malak were the ones who destroyed my home word. My wife died because of it. And now my son is _one_ of them. How could I possibly continue a relationship like that?"

Jolee shrugged. "Effort. Forgiveness." he chuckled again. "For once, I have to agree with Canderous. It was Malak who gave the orders to destroy Telos."

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter."

"Doesn't it? You don't know her thoughts on it. Hell, _she_ doesn't even know her thoughts on it." he paused and gave me a sad smile. "Did Alora ever tell you about Nayama?"

"Who?"

"I thought not." Jolee sat there in silence for a long moment. "It's time for you to hear a story."

I groaned. "Jolee, I'm really not -"

"Shush! You're going to listen to what I have to say. That girl," he stood, and pointed in the direction of Alora's, _Revan's_ , bed chambers. "has become like a daughter to me and I'm not going to let you ruin what could possibly be the best thing to happen to the two of you!"

The tone of his voice surprised me a little. I hadn't realized that they had gotten so close, so I let him continue.

"Nayama was my wife." he started, a sudden hollow sound crept into his voice. "I...ran into her, in a sense, when I was smuggling food. She shot me down and I was doomed from then on,"

I gave him a half smile. "I didn't know you were married. Where is she now?"

His face darkened slightly, and he sighed. "When I met her, I could just feel the force flowing through her. It was incredible. I'd never seen anyone with that kind of power." he paused and fingered his graying beard. "I took her before the Council, and they refused to train her, because of her age."

"This is starting to sound a little familiar." I stated, settling back in my seat.

Jolee nodded. "When they refused, I decided to take the liberty and train her myself." he looked over at me. "Keep in mind, this is well before your time. This was during the fall of Exar Kun."

I nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"I don't need to explain to you how I felt about her. You've been there, so I'll spare you the lovey-dovey details."

I snickered. "Thanks."

"As I trained her in the ways of the Force, and combat, there was something that I was ignoring. Through al of her strong points, she had her flaws. But, being a crazy young man in love," he looked directly at me. "I ignored them. I loved her to much to admit that there was something wrong, terribly wrong. She was too quick to anger. Too headstrong and rash."

I snorted. "Sounds like someone else I know."

"I loved her too much to admit any fault in her." he said, a small smile playing on his lips. "One day, she came to me. Saying that the Jedi were holding her back, holding _us_ back. She wanted me to join her. I said no of course."

Realization hit me like turret fire. "You lost her to the dark side."

He nodded. "When she raised her saber at me, I knew she wasn't the woman I had married." I could tell he was fighting back tears.

"Did you...I mean.."

"No. I didn't kill her. She would have killed me though, if I had given her the chance." he paused. "She left and joined the battle with Exar Kun. She died in battle."

I didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry."

Jolee thumbed his tears away and stood, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Think about my words, son. Even though Nayama fell, I never stopped loving her. You can't make those feelings go away."

I nodded as Jolee left the cockpit. I slumped down in my chair. I felt awful.

But I still couldn't help the way I felt. When Saul had told me about Revan on the bridge, I felt as if he had just ripped my heart out of my chest. I had hoped he had been lying, and then Malak proved it. It was as if my life was crumbling around me. Like I was reliving the destruction of Telos again.

And I hated to admit it, but the past month, I felt better than I had in a long time. Alora had awakened me somehow. Taught me that there was more to life than my revenge for Saul.

I couldn't deny that my feelings for her were still there. But things were different. She wasn't the woman I had...made a promise to, to protect.

I buried my head in my hands and let out a long sigh. I didn't know what to do. I was torn between the woman I cared about...and the woman who destroyed my life.

And they just happened to be the same person.

Suddenly, I felt alone. Completely miserable and alone.


	12. Part Twelve

_-Revan-_

  
  


I didn’t know how many days had passed. I stayed in my room, only leaving when I felt the necessity of heading to the refresher. My stomach was growing in protest from lack of food, but I continued to ignore it.

Sometime during the past couple of days, Mission had opted the assistance of T3 to unlock the door. She was now sitting next to me on my bed, stroking my hair, offering soothing words in my ear. Despite myself, I found her presence comforting. And yet, I still found myself wanting to be alone. Fear for myself, but mostly for the others.

Something was happening to me that I couldn't pinpoint. During my solitude, I took it upon myself to release my anger onto myself, with the help of a small dagger that I had found underneath my mattress. I felt it better to inflict pain upon myself than to accidentally take it out on anyone else. That was the last thing I wanted.

And Mission had taken it upon herself to administer to my self-inflicted wounds, without a word. And I silently thanked her for that. I knew she looked up to me, and I hated for her to see me like this, but I couldn't seem to pull myself out of this self-destructive path that I seemed to be on.

"Alora..." Mission whispered, shifting uncomfortably on the bed. "you need to eat something."

I remained silent. I wasn't worthy of such privileges.

"Seriously. You can't do this to yourself. Not over a man, and a stupid one at that."

My eyes popped open. For the first time since the Leviathan, I spoke, through cracked lips. "I..." my voice came out hoarse. "this isn't about him. It's everything I've done...that I can't remember doing."

She continued to stroke my hair. "So, you don't remember anything about being Revan?"

I shook my head. "A few flashbacks. That's it." I paused. "But what I have seen...I don't like it. I don't want to be that person again. I...it just doesn't seem real. I don't want to put anyone in danger." I looked at her finally. "You...you should go."

"Nuh-uh. I'm not going anywhere, if Carth isn't going to provide you any comfort, then I'll be damned if I won't." she paused and gave me a half smile. "Although, I, um, lack the comfort that he could give you and don't even think about coming to me for that!"

I chuckled, despite myself and put an arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry, Mission. I love you, but you're not _quite_ my type."

She laughed and leaned her head on my shoulder. "Thank the maker for small favors." she suddenly turned serious. "He still cares about you." she said, closing her eyes. "He asks about you when I leave your room. Asks how you're doing."

I sighed. "He hates me. He's just wondering if I've fallen to the darkside yet. He's just waiting..."

A knock on the door interrupted me and Jolee entered, a half smile on his face and a cup in his hand. "Hey, kiddo. Thought you could use some tea." he gave Mission a smile. "Mind if I have some time alone with our former Sith Lord?"

Mission looked at me and I nodded. She gave my shoulder a squeeze and left the room.

When she was gone, Jolee shut the door and handed the tea to me. He gave me an exhausted look. "I was going to ask how you were doing but the gashes on your arms tells me what I need to know."

I sheepishly turned my head away from him.

He sighed. "Revan...Alora...whatever it is you want to call yourself now, you can't allow this pull you down to the darkside. The lad just needs time to adjust, as do you. We're all in this together, and sooner or later the two of you are going to have to talk this out. You're ruining what could be the your chance for happiness."

I looked over at him then. "I'm not the one who wanted pretend nothing happened between us, Jolee. That was Carth. I mean, I know why he doesn't want anything to do with me now, and frankly, I can't blame him." I sighed. "You of all people should know how he feels."

"I do."

I nodded. "I can't ask him to forgive me what I've done to his life..."

Jolee interrupted me. "Nor should you, my dear. You don't even know that you're the one who caused..."

I frowned. "Apparently I am. From what I've heard of Malak and Revan, I was the one who led him down to the darkside to begin with. It it hadn't been for me...none of this would have happened."

Jolee raised an eyebrow. "Do you really believe that?"

I shrugged. "I don't know what to believe anymore. But the feeling is still there, and I can't hide from my past," I laughed out of the irony. “a past I can’t even remember."

Jolee matched my shrug. "So change it. Don't let it change who you are now. The Jedi Council may have wiped out your old identity and programmed you with a new one, but _you_ chose your personality. Hell, for all the Council knew, they could have programmed you with an identity that could fall to the darkside as quickly as anyone else. But you are the one who chose to do good deeds, care about your companions, made them care for you. And that goes for the wrinkled old coot sitting beside you."

I smiled and took a sip of the tea. It burned a little on my dry throat. "Thank you for having confidence in me, Jolee. It means a lot to me."

He gave me a lopsided grin. "Bah. Think nothing of it, my dear." he turned serious again and patted my knee as he stood, groaning at the aches in his legs. "You need to have confidence in yourself. Keep in mind, you and Carth made promises to each other. He promised to protect you, and you promised to help him find his son." he looked me directly in the eye. "Prove to him that you've changed. Help him find Dustil. We'll be arriving at Korriban tomorrow, the two of you are going to need all the help you can give to each other during this time." he paused. "And I have a feeling, that once things are finished that you both will find a way to keep your promises to each other."

And with that, he left me alone again to let his words seep into me as I took another sip of my tea, determination and hope settling over me.

I had to keep my promise to him to find Dustil. That may be the only thing that can save the possibility of Carth and I being together again.

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


I stepped out of the refresher to find myself face to face with a very angry Mission. She jabbed a finger in my chest. "She thinks you hate her."

I sighed and tried to sidestep her, but she blocked my path. "Mission, please just...go away."

She shook her head so hard that one of her head-tails nearly took one of my eyes out. "No! Not until you listen to what I have to say, nerf herder!"

She pushed me into the cockpit and into the pilot's seat. "Mission-" I started.

"Shut up!"

I took the time and looked at her in the face. Her nostrils were flaring in anger and she was clenching and unclenching her fists, as if to try to stop herself from hitting me. She was strong for her small build.

"She thinks you hate her." she repeated. "You should see what she's done to herself because of you!"

My eyes widened. "What has she done?"

Mission crossed her arms over her chest. "What do you care?"

I scowled at her and asked again. "What has she done?"

"Besides the mental beating and scaring she's giving herself over bantha crap that she can't even remember doing, she's given herself quite a few physical scars with a dagger she had hidden under her mattress." her eyes hardened again. "All because she thinks you hate her."

I rubbed my hands over my face and cursed softly. "I don't hate her."

Mission snorted. "Could have fooled the rest of us."

I rested my elbows on my knees, my head still in my hands. "I don't, and not for the lack of trying. And the lectures I've been getting from everyone aboard this ship is making me try to hate her very difficult."

"You shouldn't hate her. Alora doesn't deserve that. Revan might, but not Alora."

"They're the same person." no sooner did the words leave my lips, I wanted to retract them.

The little twi'lek through her arms in the air. "Like hell they are! Revan would have never saved our butts from Taris. Revan wouldn't have taken care of a stowaway child. And Revan sure as hell wouldn't have fallen for a Republic nerf herder like you. If you ask me, she would have that in someone like Canderous. At least he wouldn't have cast her aside because of a dark past like you did."

The thought of Alora being in the arms of that heartless Mandalorian made my skin crawl. The image of her kissing him, the way she had me so many times made my stomach churn.

Mission's voice softened. "You made a promise to her on Manaan. You promised to protect her. From herself and the darkside, and it seems to me," she said. "the only thing that's pushing her down that path..." she paused.

"Is me." I sighed. I snorted a laugh and looked at her with a smile. "How'd you get to be so smart at your age?"

She shrugged. "You don't survive the Lower City of Taris without learning a few tricks."

I stood and hugged her. She seemed a little caught off by my actions, then hugged me back.

After a few moments, I released her. "How am I going to apologize for the things I said?"

She thought for a moment, then a mischievous smile crept on her young face. "I think I have an idea."

I listened intently as she told me her plan.

It was devious, but I felt myself smile. "That could work."


	13. Part Thirteen

_-Revan-_

 

I left the refresher and ran straight back into my room, in fear of running into Carth. I had caught slight glimpse of him in the common room, sitting at the counter, nursing a cup of caffa. But I would quickly duck back into my room before he spotted me. I still held too much self-pity lurking in me to face him. Not yet.

Juhani had informed me that we were now about to dock on Korriban. I had thanked her, and apologized to her for my actions. She had responded with a smile and a hug. No words needed to be spoken. She had forgiven me.

I reached into my footlocker and pulled out a set of clean robes. I quickly dressed and pulled my hair up. My stomach still growled at me. I hadn't eaten anything in...I don't even remember now.

My nerves were too frazzled for me to even think about food right then without feeling sick. Everything we had worked so hard for depended on the next couple of weeks. The last of the Star Maps that we needed was located here somewhere on Korriban. Then Force only knows what awaited for us next.

But I couldn't even think about that. My mind was too focused on finding Dustil. Carth's future, and mine, depended on that. As much as the galaxy needed to be free of Malak, of the Sith, I had to start with one thing at a time, and that thing was to reunite Carth with his son. Like I had promised.

When Mission burst into my room, breathless, I practically jumped out of my skin. "Mission! What's wrong?"

"Carth..." she tried to catch her breath. "He..."

My own breath caught in my throat. "Slow down, Mission. Catch your breath and tell me what's wrong with Carth." I led her over to Bastila's bed and sat her down, rubbing her back.

When she finally caught her breath, she finally spoke so that I could understand her. "Carth contacted Admiral Dodanna. He's pulling himself out of the mission. He's gonna leave after we find Dustil."

My heart sank. "Are...are you sure?"

She nodded, her eyes full of sorrow. "I overheard him talking to her. He's...he's already started packing." she sighed and looked over at me. "I'm sorry, Alora. I tried to talk to him but...he wouldn't listen."

The little hope I’d had slowly dissolved into nothingness. I closed my eyes. "Thanks for telling me."

She looked at me, worry crossing over her pretty features. "Are you going to be okay?"

I gave her a sad smile. "Probably not."

Mission cleared her throat. "Me and Big Z were going to go scout around a bit...wanna join us?"

I shook my head. "Thanks, but I have got some stuff I need to do around here."

She nodded and stood up to leave, and paused at the door. "I wouldn't let him go, if I were you. I'd do something." she lowered her head and left the room.

I collapsed back on the bed, my legs dangling over the sides. Carth was leaving, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

Using the Force, I searched the Ebon Hawk, feeling out for signs of life. There was only a single life form on board. I couldn't sense Jolee or Juhani. I couldn't hear little T3 buzzing around the cargo hold, and I knew HK was powered down. That only left two people it could be.

Carth or Canderous.

I stood and left my quarters.

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


I stuffed the last of my meager belongings into my duffel bag and sealed it closed. When I turned to put it with my other bags, the figure standing in the doorway startled me.

Alora was glaring at me, leaning against the entranceway, arms folded across her chest. I could see some of the marks on her arms that Mission had told me about. She looked frail, weak, and way too pale. "So you're leaving? Just like that?" she asked, pain in her voice.

I stared at her, with a scowl on my face. "Yep." was my sharp response, and I gave her a smug smile. "Just like that." I tossed my bag in the corner with the rest of my stuff. "As soon as I get Dustil, I'm space dust."

She nodded, her expression hard, but I could see the sadness in her eyes. "Well," her voice cracked with emotion and her eyes started to moisten. She extend her hand. "it was a pleasure working with you, Onasi."

I hadn't expected that, and it almost made me forget what I was doing. But I recovered, barely. I accepted her hand and gave it a formal shake. "Wish I could say the same."

She gave a short, humorless laugh. "You know," she whispered. "this wasn't exactly how I was hoping things would be left between us."

 _Focus, Onasi_ , I scolded myself. "To be honest, it wasn't what I wanted either. But this is what we got." I turned my back to her so she couldn't look at me. She was trying to break me, and I couldn't let that happen. "And this is how it has to be."

"Why?"

I whirled around to face her and almost completely forgot about the plan when I looked into her eyes. _Was she_ crying "Because." I wanted to forget about everything that had happened in the last couple of days and just hold her. But I couldn't do that. "Things just...aren't the same anymore."

Her head dropped as she brushed a tear off her cheek. I wanted to kick myself for making her cry, and it killed me to not do anything, killed me to not reach up and brush the tears away myself. Instead, I brushed past her and headed out of the Ebon Hawk.

When I was sure she didn't follow me, I leaned against the hard metal of the ship and let out a heavy sigh.

 

* * *

  
  


_-Revan-_

  
  


Getting into the Sith Academy had been the easy part. Finding Dustil wasn't. There were so many twists and turns in the old building that one could get lost very easily. I had tried to discourage Carth from coming, but of course he would have nothing of it. I hadn't really expected him to listen to me anyway.

We only spoke when we had to. The friendly banter between Alora and Carth was gone. Now, there was only the awkward silence of Revan and pilot. And I hated it.

Canderous also accompanied us. I would have preferred Jolee or Juhani, to have another Jedi present would have made the whole adventure a lot easier. But the place was of course, crawling with Sith. And I couldn't take the chances of someone either recognizing them, or sense the Force in them.

I was angry, hurt, sad, and miserable. How Carth could just _leave_ and forget about our mission, I couldn't fathom it. How he could throw away everything that we had all worked for damn hard for…

I still had a slight bit of hope. If we could find Dustil, maybe, just maybe, I could prove to him that I had changed. I didn't want to be Revan anymore. Hell, I didn't even really want to be a Jedi anymore. I just wanted to be happy. With Carth.

After I was sure Carth and Canderous were asleep, I had earned enough prestige with Master Uthar that I could come and go within the Academy as I pleased, so I ventured into the local cantina in Dreshdae and took a seat at the bar. I scanned the room to try to see a familiar face, but came up empty. I sighed. I had never felt so...alone. I couldn't even feel the Force bond between Bastila and myself anymore. And until now, I didn't realize how much I depended on it.

The twi'lek bartender approached me, wiping the bottom of a glass with a towel. "What's your poison?"

I tossed a credit chip onto the counter. "Give me the strongest you've got."

He nodded and handed me a glass. I knew I shouldn't be drinking, especially having not eaten in days, but I had to forget about my pain for a little while.

The liquid burned my throat on the way down. But after my third glass, I didn't notice it anymore. In fact, I didn't notice much of anything. I didn't even notice when the man slid into the chair beside me until he slipped an arm around my shoulder.

"What's a pretty little thing like you doing in a place like this?"

Startled, I turned towards the man. He was slightly smaller than Canderous, though probably several years younger. He wore the issued gray uniform of the Sith, excluding the hat, giving me the impression that he was off duty at the moment.

"Same as you, apparently." I said shortly, wiggling out from under his arm.

The man kept a firm hand on my shoulder, using his index finger to trace my jaw line. "Aw, come on sweetheart. Let me buy you another drink."

I frowned, trying to decide if I should try to persuade the man to just leave me alone, or just break out my lightsaber and teach the bastard a lesson. "I'll pass."

I stood up, and the effects of the alcohol hit me all at once. I staggered, and the man laughed. "Shuddup." I spat at him and made my way clumsily out of the cantina.

Unfortunately for me, the man followed. I tried to speed up my steps, but the alcohol betrayed me, and I couldn't focus enough to call upon the Force for help, I reached for my lightsaber only to realize it wasn't on my belt.

The thug caught up to me and grasped my arm roughly, throwing me against the wall. He sneered. "You should have accepted my offer, sweetheart."

 

* * *

  
  


_-Carth-_

  
  


When I woke up, it took me several minutes to remember where I was. When my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I realized that Revan wasn't there. And the only sound I could hear was that of Canderous' loud snoring. I rolled my eyes. _No wonder I didn't hear her leave._

I pulled on my boots, grabbed my jacket and my blasters, with a yawn. I wanted to find Dustil, but I was going to need Revan's help.

When we had entered into the Academy, she had mentioned just how tainted this place was with darkside energy. _"Even the walls,"_ she had commented, _"release dark side aura."_

I didn't like the idea of her being alone in a place that contained so much evil. If she did still contain some of her old past, a place like this would draw it on from her.

The halls were deserted, and for that, I was grateful. I was afraid of what would happen if someone were to find one of "Alora's slaves" wandering the halls late at night without their "Master."

Yurthura Ban had automatically assumed that Canderous and I were both Alora's "pleasure slaves." The thought made me laugh. And blush.

When I saw no sign of her, I left the Academy and headed into the direction of the cantina, where I had hoped I would find Revan. I entered the Dreshdae and immediately stopped moving, my eyes settling on two figures in the corner.

Revan was being pushed against the wall by a man twice her size. I could tell she was drunk, by her flushed complexion, and she made no move to stop the man. She looked scared.

Anger swirled in my head. I pulled one of my blasters out of its holsters and crept towards the man. I put the blaster to his temple, noticing the look of relief that passed over Revan's face. "I suggest you step away from the lady before I decide to put this blaster to better use."

The thug moved back away from Revan and turned to me, flashing an innocent look. "I was only have a bit of fun with her."

I lowered my blaster, just a little. "Uh huh. Well, I suggest you return to the sarlaac pit in which you came before I change my mind." I threatened through clenched teeth. I took ahold of Revan's arm and moved her behind me.

The man frowned. "So you think you can take me?" he laughed scornfully.

I raised my blaster again. “I _know_ I can.”

The man rolled his eyes and turned to leave. "Fine, you can have the whore. But you haven't heard the last of me."

I waited until he was gone before placing my blaster back in my holsters. I turned to Revan with a frown. "What the hell were you thinking? Going out and getting drunk like this? Are you crazy?

She only smiled and reached up and placed her arms around my neck and kissed the corner of my mouth. I could smell the bitter sweet scent of the alcohol she had consumed. I closed my eyes. I had missed being this close to her, but I couldn't let her ruin my plans. Gently, I removed her arms from around my neck and moved her away from me. "You're drunk." I stated the obvious.

She smiled at me and tried to move into me again, and I felt myself start to crumble. "You're sexy." she reached up again and kissed me softly.

I felt myself start to respond to the kiss, but I broke away. "We need to get you back to the Academy."

Her smile fell slowly, and she inched away from me. Embarrassment crossing her beautiful features. "I'm sorry." she turned away from me and started to walk back towards the academy entrance, and stumbled.

I chuckled, despite myself. I draped her arm around my shoulder to balance her as we made our way back.

I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. Her head was lowered and her cheeks were flushed pink.

I sighed. _Only a few more days, Onasi. And this will all be over._


	14. Part Fourteen

_-Carth-_

  


Half way back to the Academy, Revan nearly passed out, resulting in my having to carry her back to her room. I walked through the dimly lit hallways, praying that no one was around, as quickly and quietly as I could.

I didn't like how light she felt. Which made me remember that Mission had told me she hadn't eaten much since before the Leviathan. I made a mental note to force her to go to the mess hall before we continued our search for Dustil and the Star Map.

When I finally reached her room, I shifted her in my arms to open the door. I glanced around to see Canderous still snoring away in the corner of the room. _Good,_ I thought, _I'm not in the mood for any sexual innuendos right now._

I used my foot to close the door, then brought her over to the bed, placing her onto it gently. I pulled off her boots and pulled the rough sheets over her. I stood there watching her for a moment, then brushed a strand of hair off of her forehead.

Her eyes fluttered open when my fingertips grazed over her forehead, causing me to recoil my hand. "Carth?"

"I'm here," I whispered, giving a gentle squeeze to her shoulder.

She smiled and closed her eyes again, but the smile was only temporary. "My head hurts."

I snorted. "Yeah, well, it should."

Revan nodded, wincing as it sent a shock of pain through her skull. "Guess I deserved that."

"Yeah," I looked at her and frowned. "you do." I paused, and pulled up a chair next to her bed. "Just what were you thinking?"

She sighed, adjusting herself on the pillow. "I wasn’t. That's the point. I was trying to stop thinking for once." she paused and looked me in the eye, but didn't continue. Just laid there, staring at me, those eyes of hers piercing into me.

I averted mine and leaned back in the chair. "You can't do things like this."

She bit her lip. "I know. " A heavy sigh escaped her lips. "And I know you hate me for the things Revan did. I don't blame you. Hell, I hate myself for the things _she_ did."

It pained me to hear her say those words. "I never said that."

A sad smile tugged at her lips. "You didn't have to. I can see it in your eyes. I can sense it from you." she paused and moved to sit up before returning her gaze to mine. Her face was full of pain and regret. "I'm sorry, Carth. For everything."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I was too tired to have this conversation. She was making it very difficult to continue on with my plan.

When I didn't respond, she sighed again. "I don't blame you for wanting to leave. I don't." she paused, leaning her head back on the headboard of the bed. "I just want you to know I'll miss you." she laughed a little. "I don't think we could have made it this far without you." she turned her head to look at me, sadness in her eyes. "I hope you and Dustil will find a way to be happy."

I sat there and stared at her, dumbfounded. Before I knew what I was doing, before I could stop myself, I leaned over and kissed her fiercely. My hands found their way into her dark, thick hair. I could taste the sweetness of the alcohol still lingering on her lips.

I knew this was going to ruin _the plan_ , but at that moment, when she started to respond to my kiss, I didn't care. I would figure something else out later.

A loud snore from Canderous broke us apart. I moved away from her quickly, breathing heavily. When no other sound came from him, I turned back to Revan and rubbed the back of my neck. "You should, uh, get some rest."

Disappointed, she nodded. "Yeah..." she looked at me once more before she reached up and turned the light above her bed off.

I stood from my chair and headed over to the couch, which was way too short for me. I only prayed that I would find sleep.

_I kneeled before Saul, watched him take in ragged breaths of air. Blood seeping from the corners of his mouth. The gurgling he made as he spoke made me ill._

_"You...didn't know, did you?" his laughter turned into harsh coughing. "The one...that you have risked your life for...held in your arms...is the reason...your wife is dead."_

_I stood then, an eerie calm settling over me as I raised my blaster at Saul Karath's head and fired. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as his last breath escaped his lips._

_"Damn you, Saul. Damn you!"_

_I turned at her voice. My eyes searched her from head to toe. Saul had to be lying. How could this beautiful creature, who had been so kind and caring throughout this entire mission, be that monster Revan?_

_I closed my eyes and when I opened them, Alora was no longer there. instead, her beautiful face was covered with a black and red mask, her Jedi robe faded into a black, flowing one. My breath caught in my throat._

_It was true._

_I had fallen for a Sith Lord._

_I snapped. "Bastila, it's true isn't it? You and the whole damn Jedi Council knew this entire time!"_

_I watched as fear cascaded over the younger Jedi's face. "Carth, please. You don't understand-"_

_I couldn't bring myself to look over at Alora. She wasn't_ Alora _anymore. In the past few minutes, my world had crumbled around me again. Just when I thought that I was rebuilding a life that I had long forgotten, it was taken from me again. I was betrayed again._

I jolted awake, sweat streaming down my face. I sat up and placed my feet on the cold, hard floor. It was going to take a long time before I could get that image out of my head.

I glanced over at Revan's sleeping form. She looked peaceful. Beautiful, even in the darkness.

With a heavy sigh, I stood and headed for the refresher. I figured sleep wouldn't come easy again for the rest of the night.

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  


After the three of us left The Valley of the Dark Lords, we were all exhausted, covered in dirt and mud. But even exhausted, Canderous was in high spirits. He decided to go to the training room to work out a bit.

And it turned out that the thug from the cantina the night before, Shardaan, had been waiting for me in the tomb of Ajunta Pall, after I retrieved the sword of the dead Sith Lord. The lazy bastard had tried to steal the sword from me. But with the help of Carth and Canderous, he wouldn't be bothering me again.

On the way to meet Master Uthar, we must have missed the turn. We ended up in another dorm hallway, just as a young man was heading out from his quarters. He turned to us.

"You take a wrong turn somewhere?"

"Yeah, actually we-" I started.

"Dustil?" Carth's voice came up behind me, cutting off my sentence.

I looked at the young man before me, and almost kicked myself for not seeing the resemblance. Dustil was almost a carbon copy of Carth. I imagined that this is what he would have looked like around the age of sixteen or so.

"Oh great. It's _father._ What are you doing here? I hope you're not here for some ridiculous rescue attempt, because I'm perfectly happy where I am now. No thanks to you."

"Dustil, what are you talking about?" Carth demanded desperately. I took a step back.

Dustil frowned. "Did you actually think I would be happy to see you, Father? After you abandoned Mother and I on Telos?" he laughed. "I don't think so."

"Son, the _Sith_ are what took me from you and your mother. The _Sith_ destroyed Telos!"

The boy scowled. "You're a soldier, Father. How many mothers have you killed?"

"Now wait just a damn minute-" I interrupted but Carth sent me a look that told me to back off. So I did.

Carth sighed. "They're evil. _They_ are what took you from _me._ "

He snorted. "I...don't believe you."

"Dustil, if I failed you, then it...it's _my_ failure. But don't become a part of something evil for revenge!" Carth pleaded, taking a step closer to his son.

"Prove it! Prove that the Sith are so evil and, I might listen. But until then, I suggest you leave." he paused and lowered his voice. "I won't tell anyone that you're here. But don't mention anything about me. If I hear you ask anyone about me, or do anything to jeopardize my position with..." I couldn't help but note the doubt in his voice.

Carth held his hands up. "Alright. We'll find something." he lowered his head. "I promise you."

We watched in silence as Dustil headed down the dark hallway, not bothering to give us a second glance.

I turned to see Carth start down the hallway, but I gently grabbed the material on his jacket to stop him. "Do you want to talk?"

His face hardened and his eyes narrowed. "No, I don't want to talk. I want to get moving. I want to find proof for Dustil that the Sith are evil."

I nodded. "I know...and we will." I gave his arm a reassuring squeeze.

"Thanks."

After we spoke with Master Uthar again, I learned I had gained enough prestige to face the final trials. To become a Sith in full. And the thought made me shudder.

Earlier during the week, Yuthura Ban came to me with an offer. She was planning to overthrow Master Uthar, and wanted my help. At first, I was just going to ignore it, but after finding Dustil, an idea started to form in my head. Surely, any signs of evil intent would be found within the Sith Master’s private quarters.

I went to her and accepted the offer. She gave me the passcard to his sleeping quarters and a vial of poison to slip underneath his mattress.

Afterwards, I went to Master Uthar and informed him of his apprentice's treachery. I ignored the strange looks Carth and Canderous exchanged from one another.

I again returned to Yuthura to let her know that Uthar was aware of her plan. She had eyed me suspiciously, but with the help of the Force, I assured her that I had nothing to do with his knowledge.

I guess the way of the Sith wasn't completely lost to me after all. The thought made me sick.

We waited until nightfall to execute my plan. We headed to Master Uthar's chambers, poison vial in hand. I glanced around to make sure no one saw us enter the room.

Canderous nodded, indicating that no one was around, and we made our way inside.

"There," Carth whispered excitedly. "that footlocker probably contains some kind of proof that we can give to Dustil."

I put the poison under the mattress before making my way over to the footlocker. I groaned. "Of course it would be encrypted."

"Can you get it open?" his voice was almost pleading.

"I knew I should have brought Mission." I whispered under my breath as I inspected the lock. I pulled a pin out of my hair and started working on the lock.

Carth rolled his eyes. "Ya know, my blaster has a silencer..."

"Yeah, but I want to cause as little noticeable damage as possible, flyboy."

"It's called a security tunneler..."

"Do you have one?" I asked, placing the pin between my teeth.

"No..."

"Okay, let me pull one out of my ass, then."

Canderous snickered.

Carth wrinkled his brow. "That's a little crude."

I shrugged. "I do what I can." Finally, the lock popped open. "Yes!" I began to search the footlocker, then my eyes settled on a datapad.

Carth leaned over. "Found something?"

I nodded and held the datapad up for him to see.

He stared at me "Well, what are you waiting for? Read it!"

I skimmed through the datapad until Dustil's name caught my attention. "Jackpot."

"What?"

I snorted and handed it to him. "Wonder if Dustil knows his friend was disposed of like that."

"This may be just what we need..." He looked over at me. "Thank you."

Canderous cleared his throat. "Okay, lovebirds. If you got what you need, let's get the hell outta here before Sithface gets back."

We headed back to Dustil's quarters. When he answered the door, he seemed a little surprised to see us.

"You’ve returned?" He glanced around and ushered us into his room quickly before anyone could catch us. "So, did you find your proof?"

Carth nodded and pulled the datapad out of his pocket and handed it to him. "Did you know someone named Salene?"

Dustil frowned when he accepted the datapad from his father. "Yeah, she's the one who convinced me to come to the academy with her, why?" he began to read through it, and his frown only deepened. "They told me she was lost on a mission..." his voice trailed off. "They lied to me."

"Superiority at any cost, Dustil. They killed her because they thought she was hindering your progress."

He remained silent, rereading the words over and over.

Carth tensed. "Will you come with us?"

Dustil sighed. "I...no. I can't. You do what you have to, father. But I have other friends here. They need to know about this." he paused and looked Carth in the eyes for the first time. "After this, I'll head back to Telos. You can find me there. I'm still not sure about...us. But I'll listen. And maybe, I can find some information here, from the inside."

I watched Carth smile. "I guess there's no way I can talk you out of this, is there? I mean, you're not going to do anything halfway." he laughed a little. "Sounds familiar." He placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "I'm proud of you, son."

Dustil extended his hand. "Goodbye, Father."

Carth's grin widened as he shook his son's hand. "Goodbye, son. Take care of yourself and I'll see you soon."

He gave one last smile to Carth before taking off out of the room.

  


* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  


Revan turned to me and gave me a worried glance. "You think you'll really see him again?"

I nodded. "I think so. I know Dustil, and if he's anything like he used to be, he hates being tricked." I turned to her and placed both hands on her shoulders. "Thank you. For all that you've done."

She looked me in the eye. "So, are you going to go to Telos after this and wait for him?"

I took a step back and looked at the floor. "Yeah. I would cancel it, but, um, Admiral Dodanna has already sent a ship to escort me back to Telos."

She nodded, looking at me once more before leaving Dustil's room. "I need to go prepare for my test."

When she was gone, Canderous came up to me, crossing his arms over his chest and gave a snort of a laugh. "Gotta hand it to you, Republic. You're pure evil. You should be proud."

I nodded. "Yeah." I sighed. "Then why do I feel so lousy?"


	15. Part Fifteen

_-Revan-_

  
  


The night before my final trials was a restless one. I tossed and turned, not getting a wink of sleep. Mostly, I sat in my very uncomfortable bed, and watched Carth sleep.

He was still intent on leaving. He had promised that he would stay at least until I had finished my test and retrieved the Star Map.

Carth and Canderous started to follow me out into the tomb of Naga Sadow, but I turned and placed a hand on each of they're chests. "I have to do this alone. Wait for me back at the Academy."

Carth frowned. "You expect me to let you go into that death trap alone?"

"Yes, I do." I stated matter of factly. "I'm not having this argument with you again." I sighed. "Besides, we don't have any other choice."

Carth's eyes narrowed at the harshness of my tone. He groaned, resigned.. "You're still the most frustrating woman I've ever met, you know that?"

I gave him a wry smile before making my way to the tomb entrance. "Part of my charm."

"At least keep your comm on so you can stay in touch with us in case something goes wrong." he pleaded.

I turned back towards him. "What do you care anyway, Onasi? As soon as I'm finished, you can take your leave." I paused. "Hell, you can leave now if you want. You don't need me to hold your hand obviously."

Carth was taken aback. "Revan...I..."

Before he could finish, I entered the tomb and the door slammed shut behind me.

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

 

I watched the door to Naga Sadow's tomb slid shut, with a force that made the ground itself tremble and my teeth rattle. I turned to Canderous. "What have I done?"

The Mandalorian only shrugged, an unconcerned look on his face. "What you have _done_ , Republic, is irrelevant. What you're _going_ to do seems like the more appropriate question you should ask yourself."

I frowned and crossed my arms over my chest. "I don't follow."

Canderous gave me a knowing look. "What I mean, is, you have one very pissed off Jedi on your hands right now. The more you speak, the more angry she becomes." he paused and scratched his chin. "It better be one hell of an apology that you're planning on making to her. Because I highly doubt that an 'I'm sorry' and a kiss is going to help you very much now."

I nodded and we began our long walk back to the academy. "You're right," I stated, thinking of what I could possibly do or say to rectify everything that had happened during the past week.

As we reached the entrance, an idea struck me. "Ordo, stay here and wait for Revan to get back from the tomb."

Canderous frowned. "Where are you going?"

I smiled. "Don't worry about it. If she asks, tell her the ship came early and I had to leave." I turned to him with a serious look. "Make it believable."

He snorted. "Manadlorians are a lot of things, but we aren't liars. Besides," he said, casting me that lopsided grin of his that made me want to punch him. "what makes you think that I want to two of you back together when she can have a real man?"

I rolled my eyes. "Like who? _You?_ "

His grin widened as he shrugged. "You know it."

I snorted. "If you really wanted her, you would have fought me for her back on Taris."

"Maybe I was just waiting for the right moment."

I threw my hands in the air half-heartedly. "Then what are you waiting for, Ordo?"

Canderous chuckled. "Eh, she's too skinny for my tastes, Republic. So you have nothing to worry about." he waved his hand. "Go on. Get outta here." he grinned. "I'll have my way with her in your absence."

"Right," I opened the door the academy, then stopped and turned to him again before entering. "Oh, and Canderous."

"Yeah?" He raised an eyebrow.

I gave him a serious look. "If you touch her, I swear I'll have to kill you."

"Noted."

 

* * *

  
_-Revan-_

  
  


The stench of the terentateks overwhelmed me. And it only seemed to intensify once I slew them. I left the room quickly, feeling increasingly sick to my stomach.

My leg throbbed painfully from the gash one of the terentatek had given me, just below my knee cap. I reached into my pocket for one of my kolto packs and injected it into my knee and waited for it to work before I continued.

 _If I make it out of here alive, I swear to whatever source of higher power that there is that I will make Malak regret all he has done,_ I thought bitterly. If _I make it out of here alive._

I winced as the kolto seized through me. I looked down at the tattered material of my pants and sighed. _Bastila was always better with a needle._

 _Bastila._ I hadn't felt our force bond since shortly after the Leviathan.

"Bah, Malak wouldn't kill her. He'll try to turn her to the dark side and use her against us."

Jolee's words had comforted me then. But now...they seemed hollow and empty. I feared that if Malak couldn't turn her, he would not hesitate to kill her. I actually prayed for the latter.

I couldn't remember most, if any, of my dark past. The few flashbacks that I had had during our mission were the only things I could remember.

Bastila wouldn't turn on us. Would she? I had sensed great confusion in her after we had ran into her mother on Tatooine. But I never brought it up in conversation.

I stood, once the kolto had finished its job, and continued. I _had_ to keep going. For Bastila's sake.

And for the sake of all of my friends.

I continued to make my way through the tomb, but stopped when I noticed the smelled burning leather. I looked down to see lay in a green liquid, singeing the sole of my boot. I jumped back quickly and pulled the boot off in a swift motion and tossed it into the the green pool before me. And watched as it disintegrated before my eyes.

Acid.

"Blast it," I swore, trying to think of my next move. The pool was too large for me to jump over, and seeing what it did to my boot, I shuddered to think of what it might do to my flesh.

I reached into my pack and pulled out two grenades I had found in one of the rooms. One was warm to the touch, so warm that it almost caused me to drop it. The other, frigid, and almost melted away the calluses from the tips of my fingers.

I eyed the pool of acid, running the science over and over again in my mind. I put the warm grenade back in my pocket and tossed the other, and watched in amazement as the pool iced over.

Carefully, I toed the ground with my boot, making sure it was safe enough to cross. Calling upon the Force, I hurried my steps across the frozen pond, just in case, and headed up the ramp on the other side.

When I reached the top, the only thing there was a sarcophagus. Nestled within it, was the hilt of a lightsaber.

 _"It is your gift from us."_ Uthar had said when I had entered the tomb.

I reached in and took the lightsaber in my hand. There was something strangely familiar about the hilt.

_I sat at the workbench with the former scrap of metal in my hand. I smiled. A smile of pure satisfaction._

_The curve of the hilt fit my gloved hand perfectly. The indented insignia along the edges made it most unique. It read "peace is a lie...there is only passion."_

_I ignited the lightsaber for the first time. The glowing red of the crystal beamed against the metal of the ship. I gave it a twirl._

_"Magnificent."_

_I turned to see Malak standing in the doorway, a pleased smile on his face. I smiled in return. "Isn't it?"_

_He nodded and came over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist as I extinguished my new saber._

_I lifted my arms and placed them around his neck, drawing him closer to me._

_He reached an arm over and took the lightsaber from my hand and examined it closely, I kept a hand on his shoulder as he inspected it._

_"Breathtaking." He breathed, approval in his voice. "I can feel its power."_

_I leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Soon, my love. And all of the power in the galaxy will be ours."_

I sank to my knees, as fear shook through me. This was Revan's lightsaber. _My_ lightsaber.

I could still feel the dark taint within the lightsaber. Within myself, as my hand formed around the hilt perfectly.

My chest heaved and I struggled to breathe.

It fit me...so...perfectly.

"Fight it!"

Jolee's voice echoed in my head through the Force. _"It's...Revan's lightsaber, Jolee. It's_ my _lightsaber."_

"It was Darth Revan’s _lightsaber, my dear. That part of your life is no longer apart of you. You must fight it. Don't let the taint consume you. You are strong enough to deny it."_

I shook my head violently. _"_ No...no I'm not strong enough. It fits...it's me."

_"No! Blast it, child. Fight it! Listen to this old man. We love you. You're not Darth Revan anymore. You said so yourself."_

"Jolee..."

_"You can beat it, kid."_

I pulled myself slowly to my feet as his voice faded away, and began my walk down the ramp, where Yurthura and Uthar waited for me.

They smiled at me. "Welcome home, Lord Revan."  


	16. Part Sixteen

_-Carth-_

  


I jogged towards the Ebon Hawk as a figure came into focus.

Mission stood at the top of the loading ramp with her hand on top of T3's mechanical head, her worried expression came into few as I drew closer. I frowned. "Mish, what's wrong?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Jolee and Juhani took Big Z and HK to the Valley of the Dark Lords. They wouldn't tell me why." she paused and looked at me. "Why are you here? I thought you were back with Revan and Canderous?"

I nodded, an uneasy feeling settling over me. "I was, but I wanted to come back and get some stuff ready for tonight." I touched her shoulder. "Did...did they say if she's okay?"

She shook her head. "No," she bit her lip. "I'm worried, Carth. Jolee and Juhani both had these strange looks on their faces. I heard Jolee mumble something about a lightsaber..."

I tried to push the unnerving feeling of dread that had settled in the pit of my stomach, and ushered her back into the Ebon Hawk. "Come on," I said gently. "you can help me get ready for tonight, hopefully it will keep our minds off of whatever's going on." I forced out a chuckle. "Knowing her, she probably 'pulled a Bastila' and lost her lightsaber in the tomb. You know how Jedi are about their weapons. It's supposed to be surgically glued to their sides."

Mission giggled uncertainly. "You're probably right." she smiled a little. "So what are you planning?"

I grinned mischievously and handed her a piece of paper. "You can cook, right? If not, I'm screwed."

She smiled as she skimmed over the paper. "Somewhat. Griff taught me a lot of stuff about slicing computer terminals and breaking into the most impossible places, but cooking wasn't one of the things he felt he had to teach me." her smile faded. "And I was too young when my mother was around to really care about that sort of thing."

I squeezed her shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile. "I guess we'll have to figure it out together, then." I snorted. "Anything will be better than the slop that comes from the synthesizer," I wrinkled my nose. " _and_ I figure if senile ol’ Jolee can conjure up something edible, then so can we."

"Let's get started then." her smile returned and we entered the kitchen area. "So," she started, looking through some of the cabinets, pulling out the necessary items that we would need. "she still thinks you're leaving?"

I nodded. "Yeah, she's not too happy about that either." I shot her a look of fake irritation. "Why'd I have to listen to you anyway?"

Mission laughed. "Because it's romantic, geezer." she winked at me. "I know you're old and all, Carth, but sheesh!"

I shrugged. "It's been a long time since I've had to worry about stuff like this." I paused as a wave of sadness hit me. "I didn't get the chance with Morgana very often, seeing as how I was always deployed." I sighed guiltily. "It seemed like even less once Dustil was born. I remember the night she told me she was pregnant," I smiled at the memory. "I made her this same dinner." My smile widened. "Then we..."

She turned quickly towards me and put her hand over my mouth. "Please, spare me the details!"

  


* * *

 

 

_-Revan-_

  


I walked towards Uthar and Yuthura. "Welcome home, Lord Revan."

I frowned as I neared them. "So, you _do_ know who I am."

Yuthura's smile could have split her face in two. "Of course we did. Why do you think I allowed you entrance to the Academy?"

Uthar grinned. "Of course, we wanted to see your reaction to your lightsaber." he gestured towards my hand. "That was not easy to get our hands on."

"Just how _did_ you manage to get it, then? Originally, I assumed that Malak brought it to you when he realized I was still alive, knowing I would be coming here."

"Oh, we've had it for a while now. But your accusations are correct. Malak did give that to us." Yuthura stated proudly.

"It was my gift when I became Master of this Academy." Uthar explained. "I trained directly under Malak after your capture."

I nodded and I took a step closer. "And I assume you also know that the Jedi Council erased all of my memories of being Darth Revan."

They nodded. "That is why we sent you along on these quests for prestige. We wanted to make sure that the darkness was still a part of you." Uthar said calmly. "By your reaction to the lightsaber, I can see that it is, in fact, still there." he paused, turning a shade lighter. "And the fact that you have poisoned the two of us, makes it that much clearer. You didn't try to redeem us, as we originally anticipated."

I lifted my chin. "So you knew I would betray both of you?"

The twi'lek nodded, her purple skin also turned to a sickening green color. "It is the way of the Sith."

I nodded and clipped the lightsaber to my belt, only to unclip my double-bladed one. "Then you should also know that I am not Darth Revan anymore. I have been redeemed." I paused and called upon the Force. "We do not need to fight. If the former Dark Lord of the Sith can be redeemed, then so can you."

Both of them frowned, and ignited their own lightsabers. "So you deny us?" Uthar asked, turning angry.

"Yes. Nice try, though." I said through clenched teeth. "I would have preferred to do this without bloodshed, but apparently that is not how this will be played out."

They advanced on me. I blocked their throws with my lightsaber. I used the Force to send Uthar flying against the wall, focusing first on Yuthura. "Come on, Yuthura. I can sense that there is confusion in you. You can turn away from this path. Return to the light."

She sneered. "Don't spout your Jedi teachings at me, _Revan!_ I will not be your pawn."

I shrugged. "Have it your way." I lifted my lightsaber and charged at her.

She blocked with her own, sending white sparks dancing through the darkness of the tomb as our lightsabers collided with one another. "You are strong," she stated, breathing heavily.

"It comes with the redemption." I twisted my body away from her, and sent myself flying behind her, giving me the advantage of striking her down from behind. I could hear Uthar grunt loudly in the corner. His stun was wearing off. I tried again. "Listen to me, Yuthura..."

"Go to hell!" she screamed, turning towards me.

I sighed as our sabers met again. This wasn't going well. _I guess not everyone wants to be saved._

I had to strike her down, and when I did, I leaned over her. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you."

I watched as her eyes rolled to the back of her head and could hear the ragged sound of her last breath. Shaking my head, I turned towards Uthar, who was now on his feet, and breathing heavily.

"You made a big mistake by refusing us, Revan. You are no match for Malak." he said, clutching his side. "He will kill you, if I cannot."

I shrugged. "He tried that once before, and failed."

Uthar laughed humorlessly as he took a step towards me. "Only because the Jedi came to your rescue."

I smiled. "I wouldn't have had it any other way."

 

* * *

 

 

I downloaded the Star Map into my datapad before leaving the tomb. I stepped over Uthar's lifeless body and headed back out into the Valley. To my surprise, it was nightfall. It had been early morning when I had entered Naga Sadow's tomb.

The battle with Uthar hadn't been a short one. He had gotten several nice shots on me before it ended, but in the end, his weakened state had been no match for me. I was filled with regret that I couldn't persuade them to change their ways, but the darkside always was a hard temptation to resist. It was too easy, and I never did like doing things the easy way.

I spotted Canderous sitting on a rock near the tomb and I limped over to him. "Hey,"

Startled, he looked up at me. "Hey," he stood and looked down at my ankle. "You alright?"

I shrugged. "About as well as expected."

He snorted, reaching into his pocket and pulled out a kolto pack, injecting it into my leg. "Forget these existed, did you?"

Laughing, I shook my head. "No, just too tired to think." I scanned the area, there were only a few Sith archaeologists scattered throughout the Valley, who all seemed oblivious to what had happened inside the tomb. I frowned. "Where's Carth?"

The Mandalorian stiffened. "Republic ship came early and picked him up. He's gone."

I tried to read his emotions, but damn the man was hard to read. I shook my head. "Let's go."

Canderous shrugged. "You're better off."

“If you’re trying to make me feel better, it’s not working.”

We made our way up curvy hill, that led to the entrance of the academy, in silence.

The silence, however, didn't last long. I could hear the sounds of battle the closer we came to the entrance. I would have chalked it up to be nothing until I heard:

"Unnecessary Threat: Die meatbag, scum!"

I closed my eyes and cursed under my breath. "Who let the psycho droid out to play?"

Canderous shrugged. "Who knows."

As soon as we opened the doors, blaster fire came in our direction. I ignited my lightsaber and sent the bolts flying back in the direction in which they came. I could see Jolee, Zaalbar, Juhani and HK all battling out of the corner of my eye and I charged at the group of students firing at me.

"Nice of you to join us, kid!" Jolee shouted over the noise, unable to hide the smile that was creeping on to his face. "I'm gonna need a drink after this!"

"Count me in!" Canderous agreed as he took down another student. He grinned. "Now, _this_ , is fun!"

When we entered the gates of Dreshdae, I said my thanks to everyone as they headed into the cantina. I handed the lightsaber that I had acquired in the tomb to Jolee and told him to get rid of it. Then I made my way back to the ship. I was in desperate need of a shower. I was covered in dirt and blood.

The ship was silent, with the exception of the hyperdrive's low humming. I went into the common area and Mission was sitting at the counter. Her eyes beamed happily when she saw me, she jumped up and wrapped her arms around me. "You're okay!"

I smiled and embraced her. "For the most part."

She look up at me with kind eyes as she let go of me. "I'm sorry about Carth."

I patted her on the shoulder. "I'll...survive. I guess."

I headed into the direction of my sleeping quarters and she followed. "Zaalbar told me to ask you to meet him in the cantina. Something about a pazaak rematch you owe him.

I opened the door and jumped. A dark figure was standing in the middle of my room. I had to blink several times before he came into focus My eyes widened in shock. "Carth?"

He smiled, coming into view. "Hey, Beautiful."

Confused, I turned back to Mission, who just smiled and winked. "Behave, _kids_." she giggled as she shut the door.

When she was gone I turned back to Carth, and noticed the candles he had placed along the room, and noticed his belongings sat at his feet. My heart pounded against my chest, and I was sure he could hear it. "I...I thought you left?"

His smile widened as he inched his way closer to me. "Wouldn't dream of it, Gorgeous."

"But...you said...I mean..." I couldn't get the words to come out. I tried again. "But...you hate me. I saw it in your eyes. I...I _felt_ it!"

He cupped my face in both of his hands. "And what are my eyes telling you right now?" he whispered

I looked into his brown eyes, or tried, but my own were welling up with the tears I was fighting back. When I didn't respond, he chuckled.

"I can't hate you. I tired. I wanted to hold you responsible for all the things you've done. For my wife, for Telos." he paused and let out a ragged sigh. "For Dustil. But I can't."

"Why can't you? I mean, I've done some awful things..." I managed to choke out.

He placed a finger on my lips. "I got the revenge I always wanted when Saul died. But it, it hasn't brought me the peace that I thought it would." he traced my lips with his fingertip. "All I can think of now is...is the promise I made to protect you from what's going to come." he paused again. "It's given me reason to look past simple revenge."

I tried to speak, but he silenced me again. "You have this _huge_ destiny waiting for you, and I fear that, that if you're alone, it could swallow you whole." He stepped back a bit and looked at the floor. "I mean, is there room in there for me? Will you let me help you?"

"Why are you doing this?"

Carth looked into my eyes. "You...you turned my life around. I thought everything was over when my wife died. You put my feet back on the ground." he paused again, his face flushed. "You gave me a future. I want to give you a future, too. With me." he brushed a lock of hair off my forehead. "I think I could love you, if you give me the chance."

I turned away from him then, letting the several years of unshed tears finally escape and run down my cheek. "What if I turn back to the darkside? What if I make the wrong choice?"

He sighed. "Then I hope I can save you. That's why I want to give you a reason not to turn."

"I can't see into the future, Carth. I don't know what's going to happen..." I paused.

He gently placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me back around to face him. He used his thumb and brushed away the tears. "Neither do I. But does it really matter if we love each other?"

I shook my head. "No, I guess not. I...I think I could love you, too." _I already do._

  


* * *

 

 

_-Carth-_

  


My heart swelled. _"I think I could love you, too."_

Even though she was covered in dirt and blood, she had never looked more beautiful to me. I watched as the tears left clean streaks down her face. I brushed them away.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her as hard as I could. I couldn't remember being this happy, this _relieved_ , ever.

When she finally broke the kiss, she was smiling and my heart did flips in my chest. It had been too long since I had seen her smile so freely and not have the hint of sarcasm or force behind it. I rested my forehead against hers. "Mission and I made you dinner. We figured you'd be starving since you haven't eaten anything since..."

"Before the Leviathan." her smile fell as she finished for me, and turned her head away.

I took her chin between my thumb and index finger, forcing her to look at me. "Listen," I whispered. "Whatever part of Revan is inside you...the, the darkness that must surely be there. It isn't who you are. You don't _have_ to be Revan, you can be so much more." I brushed her lips with mine again, gently this time. "It took me a long time to see it, but you've changed. And..." I sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner."

I found see the relief she felt wash over her. Her eyes twinkled and she wrapped her arms around my neck. "I think I should make you work for my forgiveness."

I laughed, and it felt good. "I'll work on it after you eat something."

I led her over to where I had placed our food. "I'm sorry it's not the most exquisite meal ever, but Mission and I worked hard on this, so, you'll just have to deal with it." I winked at her.

Revan smiled as she took her seat. "It looks wonderful." she paused. "So Mission was in on this all along? Was _everybody?"_

I smiled sheepishly. "Yes ma'am."

She grinned again as she took a bite of her food. "Remind me to thank them later."

  
  



	17. Part Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains sexual content. If you're not okay with that, feel free to move on to the next chapter. :) 
> 
> Also, this is my first time actually posting anything this detailed to the public *_*

_-Revan-_

  


After we finished dinner, I opted to help Carth clean up. He tried to insist on doing it himself, but I wouldn't hear any of it. He and Mission went through a lot of trouble to set up this surprise for me, it was the least I could do.

Even though I was slightly angry about the fact that they had lied to me about Carth leaving, I couldn't help the goofy grin that laid plastered to my face. I watched Carth out of the corner of my eye. He seemed to be wearing an identical goofy smile.

When the cleaning was done, we sat at the counter in the common room while we waited for the others to return from the cantina, sipping caffa and half-heartedly played several rounds of pazaak. Carth had never cared for the game very much, but I decided to be nice and let him win a couple of rounds. Just a couple.

"So," I laid down a positive three card. "if you're not leaving, why did you go through the trouble of packing all of your stuff?"

Carth blushed a little, raking his hand through his messy brown hair. "Well, uh, I happened to remember that you now have an extra bed, with uh, Bastila gone, so I thought, if it's okay with you, that I'd, um, move in." he paused and laid down a card. "I can't take Canderous' snoring anymore."

I raised an eyebrow at him playfully. "So Canderous' snoring is the _only_ reason you want to move in, huh?"

His blush deepened as he grinned and leaned forward and kissed me softly. "Well, there may be another reason."

I smiled as I kissed him back, then ran my fingers through his hair. I lowered my voice. "I think we can arrange that."

Carth leaned in for another kiss just as the Ebon Hawk roared to life and Mission and Zaalbar rushed into the common room.

Mission's eye brightened the moment she saw us. "You guys made up!"

I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest. "You're surprised? You had a lot to do with it." I couldn't stop the smile that was creeping upon my face. "Brat."

She grinned and made her way over to us, wrapping her arms around both Carth and I. "You guys are my family now." she whispered. "When you're not happy, neither am I." she sighed. "You guys have been more of a family to me than Griff ever was, ya know?"

Carth and I exchanged glances and smiled. I stood and wrapped my arms around her in a tight hug. "Thank you."

I felt Carth embrace the both of us. After a few moments, we let go of each other and he took my datapad out of my bag that I had sat on the counter. "I'm gonna go download the coordinates to the Star Forge into the computer." he gave my arm a light squeeze, then patted Mission on the back. "Thanks for your help, Mission."

He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and whispered in my ear, smiling. "I'll meet you in our room after I'm done."

I nodded and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before he left. "I'm gonna shower."

He winked at me and smiled as he left the common room in the direction of the cockpit.

I grabbed Mission's hand and lead her into my quarters. I released her hand and began searching through my footlocker.

Mission frowned in confusion. "I thought you were going to go shower..."

"I am. A ha!" I stated, finding the velvet bag I was looking for. I walked back over to her and handed her the bag.

She raised an eyebrow as she opened the bag. Her eyes widened in surprise as she pulled out the string of Darellian pearls. "Whoa."

"They're genuine. They're rare." I smiled. "They're your's."

Mission's jaw dropped in pure shock. "Oh...Revan. I can't accept these."

"Of course you can." I took the necklace out of her hands and placed it around her neck. "I really was from Darellia. These were my mother's. She gave these to me before I was sent to the Jedi Council." I stepped back and looked at her with a smile. "Now, I'm giving them to you."

She started to protest but I held up my hand. "Don't say anything. Just give me a hug and say 'thank you'."

She did as she was told. "Thank you." she whispered. "But why are you giving these to me?"

I smiled. "Because you helped me. You didn't give up on me."

The little twi'lek's bottom lip quivered. "Rev..."

I hugged her again. "Shh. Why don't you go show Big Z so I can get in the shower."

She smiled and hugged me once again before leaving the room. "Hey Z!"

I chucked to myself as I gathered my clean clothes and headed off to the refresher.

 

* * *

 

  


_-Carth-_

  


When I entered the cockpit, I half expected Canderous to be in the pilot's seat. Instead, the seat contained Jolee, and the co-pilot's was occupied by Juhani. "Hey,"

They turned their heads. Jolee had a mischievous grin on his face. "I guess the two of you made up, eh?"

I guessed I still had the same stupid grin on my face from earlier. "You could say that."

The old man nodded his head in approval. "Good for you, son. It’s about time."

Juhani, however did not look as pleased. "Do you have the coordinates for the Star Forge?"

I nodded as I plugged the datapad up to the navi-computer console. "According to the stats, it's going to take at least a week until we get there."

"Well, at least that will give us some time to prepare." Jolee replied, to no one in particular.

"Did Revan happen to tell you what happened in the tomb?" Juhani blurted out.

Jolee shot her an angry look.

I frowned. "No, we haven’t discuss it yet. Why? What happened?"

"Nothing." Jolee snapped, still looking at the Cathar Jedi.

"Okay...something happened. Someone tell me."

"She nearly fell the dark side, Carth." Juhani ignored the look on Jolee's face.

"But she didn't." Jolee's voice was harsh. He set the ship to auto-pilot and turned the chair around to face me. He sighed. "In the tomb..." he started, rubbing his forehead with his palm. "her gift for initiation was a lightsaber."

"It was Darth Revan's lightsaber." Juhani finished for him.

"What do you mean Revan's lightsaber?" I asked, trying to comprehend what they were telling me.

Jolee unclasped a lightsaber from his belt and handed it to me. I turned it in my hands until the inscription caught my eye. "Peace is a lie...there is only passion." I read it aloud. "Oh."

The old man nodded. "Yeah. She started having a Force vision when she held it." he looked at me sternly. "But please realize that she was strong enough to fight it. Don't go and pick a fight with her over..."

I held up my free hand. "I'm not angry. I'm proud of her for fighting it." I was actually surprised at myself. I felt no anger. I was...happy? Happy that she came out of it safe, and back in my arms.

Jolee allowed himself to smile again. "Glad to hear it." he shrugged. "She asked me to get rid of it, but I don't know what to do with it."

"Maybe I'll...hold on to it for now." I suggested. "Maybe I can alter it or something for her."

Juhani shook her head. "Carth, I do not think that is wise. You could not feel the struggle that she had to go through when she held it in the tomb."

Jolee nodded. "I couldn't tell completely what she was feeling but it wasn't pleasant." he sighed. "That saber yields some immense power. If Revan were to get a hold of that at the wrong time..." he shuddered. "I'd hate to think of what she could do with it."

I thought for a minute and nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right." I handed it back to him. "We'll...figure something out later. For now..." I tried to hide the smile that I felt coming on. "I still have some making up to do."

Jolee snickered, and Juhani shook her head as I left the cockpit.

Mission had stopped me on the way to Revan's quarters to show me the pearls that Revan had given her. I couldn't help but smile. The woman was so kind and generous. I still had a very hard time believing that she was the former Sith Lord. It just didn't seem plausible.

Throughout our adventure on Taris, she had given some of our credits to people who had bounty's on their heads, just to save them. Back then, credits were very hard to come by. But she had done it, regardless. On several different occasions. I had pretended to be aggravated, but secretly, it had made me slowly start to fall for her. How someone could be so selfless…

When I entered her quarters, I found Revan asleep on her bed, the blankets curled around her tightly. I smiled as I shut the door, locking it behind me.

I crept over to the side of the bed through the darkness and knelt next to her. I gently brushed the hair off, it was still slightly damp from her shower, and kissed her forehead.

Revan stirred slightly in her sleep, her eyes fluttering open. A smile played across her lips as her hypnotic eyes focused on me. "Hey, flyboy." she whispered, stretching her arms over her head, squeaking out a yawn.

I chuckled softly. "Go back to sleep, Gorgeous." I laid an arm on her pillow, teasing her hair with my fingertips.

"I wasn't sleeping." she lied through another yawn, her smile widened.

"You lie," I replied with a smile. "You were snoring."

She pouted, her bottom lip poking out. "I don't snore."

I chuckled, brushing her hair behind her ear. “Only a little.”

Ignoring my barb, Revan scooted over and gestured for me to join her.

I did. I kicked off my boots and slid in carefully beside her, maneuvering her head to rest comfortably on my shoulder. My fingers continued to play in her soft hair as I lazily brushed my lips against her forehead.

My mind kept going back to what Jolee and Juhani had told me. _"She almost fell to the dark side, Carth."_

I wanted to ask her about it, to get her input on the event, but I decided now wasn't the best of times. I didn't want to fight with her when I had just gotten her back.

Revan shifted onto her side and slid her arm over my chest, lazily picking at my jacket. I shifted my eyes down to look at her. "What's on your mind, beautiful?"

She snuggled closer to me and I heard her sigh nervously. "Carth, I have to tell you something."

My fingers left her hair and gently squeezed her shoulder. "What is it?"

She shifted again, slightly sitting up, as she rested her forearm on my chest, and settling her chin on her arm so she could look at me. "When I was in the tomb..." she started, nibbling gently on her lower lip. "I know you know about the lightsaber, and I know that you also know that I almost fell."

I frowned slightly. "How did you know?

Revan smiled a little, reaching up and brushed the two strands of hair off my forehead with her index finger. "I'm a Jedi."

I chuckled and threaded my fingers through her hair again, waiting for her to continue.

She lowered her voice and she continued. "I had a...a vision when, when I held the lightsaber." she paused and looked me in the eye. "Of Malak and I."

I stayed silent, waiting as I let my hand rub up and down her back reassuringly. When I didn't say anything, she continued. "After I built the lightsaber...Malak came in...wrapped his arm around me." she squeezed her eyes shut, and I got the feeling that she was having trouble looking at me. "I kissed him." Tears sprung to her eyes. "I think...I think we were lovers."

  


* * *

 

 

_-Revan-_

  


Carth's hand stopped stroking my back. I laid there, waiting for the anger and rage to fill the room.

It never came.

He placed his thumb on my cheek and brushed the tears away. "Do you remember anything else?"

I shook my head. "No," I sat up and buried my face in my hands. "I'm sorry." My apology was muffled into my palms.

I felt him shift into a sitting position and placed a hand on the side of my neck, rubbing my jaw line with his thumb. "You don't know that for certain, Rev." he whispered.

I lowered my head, feeling dirty. "I know, but I felt it, Carth. There was something about the way he touched me..." I bit my lip to keep it from quivering and I wrapped my arms around myself. "It was too...intimate."

Carth's hand shifted down to my shoulder and moved my shirt to the side, brushing his lips across my shoulder ever so gently. "Like this?" he whispered against my skin.

I shivered at his touch, closed my eyes as his breath tickled my shoulder. "This is better," I managed to choke out, bringing my hand up touch the side of his face. His scruffy chin scratched my skin, but I didn't care.

His hands settled on my sides, the tips of his fingers sliding underneath my shirt. He leaned up and whispered in my ear. "I haven't done this in a long time, Gorgeous. But I'll do my best to make it worth your while."

My heart raced as he slid my shirt off and let it drop to the floor. I looked into his eyes and he smiled. He kissed me gently as he pushed me back onto the bed, settling the pillow underneath my head.

His kisses intensified as I unfastened his jacket and slid it off his shoulders. I gently ran my hands over his muscular arms and chest. He leaned into me, propping himself onto his elbows as his hands found their way back into my hair. "You're so beautiful," his voice was husky and laced with desire.

My breath hitched as I pulled him closer to me, needing to feel him. I couldn’t get close enough.

Carth closed his eyes and gently ran his fingers over my face. His mouth traveled down to my neck and I heard him mumble something incoherent against my collarbone as he untied the string on my shorts, slowly drawing them down my legs.

He kissed and nipped his way back up my body, settling between my breasts. His hands slipped behind my back to fumble with the clasp of my bra, slowly sliding the straps down my arms before tossing the garment across the room.

Carth’s chocolate brown eyes met mine as he smiled wickedly as he swiped his tongue across my nipple, causing my back to arch, pressing my oversensitive flesh eagerly into the warmth of his mouth. I gasped as I felt his teeth on the already pebbled flesh at the same moment he brought his fingers to tease and pull on the other.

My fingers found their way into his hair, his name a whisper on my lips. “Carth,” I breathed, my need for him flowing through me like nothing I had ever experienced before. It was heady, and a little scary.

He slowly brought his mouth back to mine and kissed me, coaxing my mouth open to allow his tongue entrance. He gently traced the inside of my mouth and caressed my tongue with his as I felt his hands travel down to my waist, gripping my sides.

I reached down and slowly unfastened his belt, and the button his pants. I heard him moan softly as I slowly lowered the zipper, sliding my hand inside.

A growl escaped from the back of Carth's throat as he shimmied himself out of his pants as I continued to caress him. I started to push his boxers down and he grabbed my wrist gently. "Not yet," he hissed, as he buried his face in my neck again, nipping his way down my jawline. His hands slid down my torso and rested on my sides again.

His mouth traveled down to my neck and I heard him mumble something incoherent against my collarbone as he untied the string on pajama shorts. He kissed a blazingly hot trail down to my stomach, his tongue making lazy circles around my bellybutton as he slowly slid my shorts down, and kicked them off the bed.

I moaned loudly as his hand suddenly cupped me, arching my hips to meet his hand, needing and demanding his touch.

Carth closed his eyes and moved the my panties to the side and traced his finger along my opening. I cried out as one of his fingers penetrated me. His breath hissed through his teeth.

"Shh, it's okay, Beautiful." he whispered, his eyes still squeezed shut as he kissed me again, continuing to let his finger explore my body. He carefully inserted another finger.

My back arched further off the bed and I tried my best to stifle my cries, but my effort was in vain. Especially, when Carth decided to use his thumb to manipulate the sensitive spot in my lower regions.

I cried out, gripping the sides of the bed tightly, moaning his name.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked, concerned creasing over his handsome features.

I shook my head, wanting him to continue.

He withdrew his fingers, chuckling at my groaned protest, as he slid my panties the rest of the way off, tossing them to the floor. I held my breath as I waited for the wonderful sensation to start again.

Carth placed his elbow between my legs, coaxing them apart. His mouth replaced his fingers, his eyes staying locked on mine. His tongue teased me, his teeth ever-so-gently nipping at me.

"Carth!" I moaned his name, gripping his hair as gently as I could. I instinctively started to grind my hips.

I felt his hands grip my thighs in an effort to still me as he continued his wonderful torture.

The sensation was so intense, I fought myself to tell him to stop. My grip tightened on his head as several waves of pleasure shot through me like lightening. My back arched as far as it could go. "Carth!" I exclaimed, when he finally stopped, shifting his position.

Carth stripped himself of his boxers, as he loomed over me with a smile. "Ready?" he asked his a husky whisper.

I nodded, still trying to catch my breath.

He settled his forehead against mine and kissed me softly on the lips. "If...if it hurts, tell me to stop, Beautiful, and I swear to you that I will. I...I don't want to hurt you."

I licked my lips and nodded. "You won't."

Carth gently wrapped my legs around his waist, and slowly entered me. He looked into my eyes, sweat forming on his brow in his efforts to be gentle. "You okay?" he asked, brushing my hair away from my forehead.

I nodded, placing my hands on his shoulders.

He began to move, slowly at first, giving my body time to adjust to him. He leaned down and kissed me again, tracing the inside of my mouth with his tongue as he began to pick up speed.

I moaned softly, gripping his shoulders, then wrapping my arms around his shoulders. "Ohh," I mumbled softly as I buried my face in his neck.

Carth leaned down and nipped at my shoulder as he continued to move faster. I could hear his soft grunts in the back of his throat with each thrust of his hips.

My back arched again as the familiar tingling sensation spread through me. I cried out.

"Easy. Easy, Gorgeous." he whispered as he slowed down a little. "Wait for me." He wrapped an arm around my waist, instructing me to move my hips in rhythm with his.

I bit my lip, trying to focus on Carth's face, to stop the climax from hitting me first.

"Carth," I managed to moan out, tightening my grip on his waist with my thighs.

"Revan..." he moaned against my shoulder. His hips pounded harder into me.

I felt his body tense, his muscles clench as he released his seed into me. I cried out, no longer able to hold back. My nails raked across his back, pulling him closer.

Carth gave one final thrust, a guttural groan escaping his lips as he hugged me to him tightly as we climaxed together. I could feel his breath on my ear as his body went limp and he collapsed on top of me.

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  


Afterwards, we laid tangled in each others arms. Revan's arm was draped over my chest, her fingers laced with my own. I looked down at her and smiled. Her head was laying once again on my shoulder. She had fallen asleep.

I closed my eyes and listened to her soft breathing. With my free hand, I teased her hair with my fingertips and kissed her forehead.

"I love you, Beautiful." I whispered, letting my lips linger on her temple.

The only response I got was the tiny snore that escaped her lips.

I chuckled, and eventually followed suit, falling into a peaceful sleep.


	18. Part Eighteen

_-Carth-_

  


I awoke the next morning to tiny kisses being placed on the corners of my mouth and my neck, trying to coax me awake. I slowly opened my eyes and smiled, as my hands found Revan's waist. She was was beaming that perfect smile at me. "Mmm," I gently brushed the wild, dark hair off her forehead. "That's a nice wake up call, Beautiful."

Revan said nothing and grinned, leaning down and kissing my neck again as my hand settled on the back of her neck.

"I must be dreaming," I closed my eyes as her lips danced over my skin, my arms encircling her small frame. "because the real Carth Onasi would never be as lucky as to have the most beautiful woman in the galaxy to wake up to."

She blushed and leaned down to kiss me softly on the lips. "How did you sleep?" she asked, brushing her hand against my cheek.

I grinned as the events from the previous night invaded my thoughts as I hugged her closer to me. "Never better, Gorgeous." I brought the hand that she had laid on my cheek and kissed her knuckles. "How about you?"

Revan squeezed my hand. "I'm still dreaming," she whispered. "because I have the most handsome pilot in the galaxy in my bed."

I laughed softly, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "You're amazing."

A seductive smile played over her lips as she leaned down and whispered in my ear. "Everyone else is still asleep..."

I grinned as she straddled my waist, my hands finding her hips again. "I think I've created a monster."

She giggled and kissed me again. "At least I'm a lovable monster now."

My smile widened, and I could feel my heart pound against my chest. "Indeed you are, Beautiful. Indeed you are."

 

* * *

 

  


_-Revan-_

  


About an hour later, Carth and I finally ventured out of my quarters and into the kitchen. I yawned sleepily as I went over and started brewing a pot of caffa, as he rummaged through the refrigerator for something for us to eat.

I was slightly surprised that no one else was awake yet. Jolee was normally the first one up. "What time is it, flyboy?"

Carth chuckled, pulling some fruit out of the fridge. "Morning. Very, very morning."

I giggled and leaned against the counter, crossing my arms over my chest. "Don't be vague or anything, Carth."

He winked at me and made a "clicking" noise with his mouth. "Me? Vague? Never."

I rolled my eyes playfully at him and grinned. "I hate you."

Carth put on a mock hurt look and walked over to me, boxing me in with his arms against the counter. He grinned and whispered playfully. "You love me."

I gave him a knowing look and wrapped my arms around his neck. "You bug me."

He laughed and kissed me softly. "Well, I guess I should at least be a little pleased that I haven't lost my touch." His hands slid off the counter and rested on the small of my back, pulling me against his body and kissed me again.

We were so caught up in our kiss, we didn't hear the footsteps that entered the kitchen.

"Ah, for the love of the Force..."

Carth and I froze in mid-kiss and slowly turned our heads towards the doorway, only to see Jolee leaning against the frame, arms crossed, his expression amused.

Reluctantly, I pushed against Carth's chest and moved away from him, heat rushing to my face in embarrassment. "Morning, Jolee. We...um...were just..."

The old man lifted an eyebrow. "Making out?"

Carth and I exchanged sheepish grins.

Jolee chuckled softly and moved further into the kitchen. "You could always go with the 'I tripped and fell on his lips' excuse." he paused. "As happy as I am that the two of you aren't fighting anymore, I'd rather not see your public displays of affection before my morning caffa, thank you."

I heard Carth chuckle and squeeze my arm as he began to pour us each a mug of caffa.

He handed me my mug and I accepted it gratefully, giving him a quick kiss. He smiled and turned to Jolee, extending a mug out for him.

Jolee raised an eyebrow. "Don't think you're gonna get that kind of thanks from me, sonny."

Carth wrinkled his nose. "Just take the damn caffa, old man."

I laughed as I settled down at the table, sipping at my caffa. Carth took a seat next to me, his arm draped over the back of my chair.

Shortly after, the rest of the crew joined us for breakfast, everyone greeting good morning to each other.

I found myself looking around at my companions, realizing for the first time just how lucky I was as I watched them.

Mission and Zaalbar were fighting over the sugar bowl. Canderous was slicing into his fruit with his dagger. Juhani and Jolee in deep conversation about meditation techniques. The droid's were in the cargo hold, upgrading blasters and rifles for our mission. Carth, just silently sipping away at his caffa, occasionally giving my shoulder a squeeze and flashing me a smile.

A smile crossed my face as I watched them, realizing how important each of them were to me.

With Canderous, I felt a sense of loyalty and honor. When I had revealed to everyone that I was Revan, he had promised to follow me, no matter which path this mission took me down. That he would be there, no matter what, fighting by my side. For good or evil. I would get no judgment from him.

And I felt that with Zaalbar as well.

Mission, I had an undying friendship, even considering our age difference. When things had seemed at their worst, the fourteen year old held maturity at her fingertips. She stayed by my side through everything, offering comfort and understanding. She never gave up on me.

Jolee. My mentor. My Master in so many senses of the word. The man had become like a father to me, in such a short time. It seemed that his mood lifted after each day that passed, since we picked him up on Kashyyyk. He offered me advice, even when I didn't want it. But they always seemed to help. And they always made me feel better.

With Juhani, I had understanding and compassion. She would always be a constant reminder of what I faced with the dark side. And I knew that she had feelings beyond friendship for me, and that caused a little tension between her and Carth, but I had a feeling that everything would work itself out eventually. There were more important things to worry about.

Even though Bastila was gone, and I could no longer feel the Force bond between us, I missed her terribly. Even though she could be a pain in my ass, with her constant lectures of the dark side, she understood me in a way that I couldn't explain. She didn't approve of my relationship, I knew, but she understood. You can't make feelings go away. Not even with the ability of the Force.

And, of course, with Carth, I had all of the above. The loyalty, the trust, the compassion, understanding, and the friendship. Despite our rocky start; the trust issues, and the revealing of my true self. We had been through so much in such a short period of time together. More than a normal couple should experience in a lifetime. But I felt that it would only make it stronger.

All and all, he was my best friend. My friend. My lover. Hell…

He was my everything.

"Just give me the sugar, you over-sized carpet!" I heard Mission laugh as she pulled the sugar bowl from Zaalbar's hand, laughing, snapping me from my thoughts.

I sighed contently as I reached behind me, for the hand that Carth had placed around my shoulder and kissed his hand.

He looked over at me, his chestnut eyes full of kind curiosity. "You okay?"

I smiled and reached up, planting a kiss on his cheek. "Better than okay."

Mission wrinkled her nose at us. "Not while I'm eating!"

I chuckled and laid my head of Carth's shoulder.

It was odd. Even with everything that we were going to face when we reached the Star Forge…

I couldn't have been happier.  


	19. Part Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains very mild descriptions of torture that would be triggering to some.

_-Carth-_

  


Later that afternoon, I sat alone in the cockpit. Revan had spent most of the day meditating with Jolee and Juhani. Then, later, we were supposed to meet up in the cargo hold for some sparring matches, to prepare for whatever the hell was awaiting for us when we reached the Star Forge.

I stared out the window into the dark abyss of space, trying to push away the uneasy feeling that had settled in the pit of my stomach. The closer we got to the Star Forge, the more uneasy I felt. None of us truly knew what was awaiting for us. And thus, I found myself in unfamiliar territory...I was afraid.

Fear was something that I would not admit easily. Men shouldn't be afraid. But I was. I was afraid for the lives of the crew. For Bastila's, if she was even still alive. I was even afraid for mine. But mostly, I was afraid for Revan's.

A few months ago, I couldn't have given a womprat's ass about whether or not whatever mission I was currently on would be my last. I had no future then. I couldn't look past the hollow promise of a tomorrow.

But now, I was beginning to look forward again, and my future laid solemnly in the hands of Revan, who had also given me my son back. I suddenly had two reasons to live again. But what if something happened on the Star Forge that we couldn't control?

Through my time surrounded by Jedi, I had come to learn that the dark side was always a lingering enemy, waiting to pounce, to wholly consume its prey.

Revan was strong, I had no doubts about that, and had a multitude of skills that was...was incredible. There wasn't a better word for it. I had seen her numerous times taking on insane Selkath, Tuskan raiders, mad Wookiee's, and Dark Jedi single-handedly, and had come away without so much as a scratch.

Revan had a strong will, and she was as stubborn as a bantha. She had fought the temptations of the dark side so many times already, on several different occasions. She was, without a doubt, the most amazing woman I’d ever known.

But I couldn't help but imagine it differently, and I had told her so, well before I knew she was Revan. "Like the flip side of a coin," I believe is how I had put it to her. What if Malak did try to turn her? I had no doubts that he would. But what if he succeeded? What if he killed her?

I don't think I could go through that again.

"Those are dangerous thoughts, Onasi."

I turned quickly, to see Revan standing against the frame of the doorway, arms crossed against her chest. My heart dropped to my stomach at the expression on her face.

She looked...hurt.

I tried to smile, to laugh, anything to lighten the mood. "Woman, what did I tell you about getting inside my head?"

Revan didn't respond. She just stood there, staring at me. "Gorgeous," I sighed, rubbing my face with my hands. "You have to understand that I'm worried - "

"So am I." she admitted, wrapping her arms around herself tightly.

I reached for her arm, gently pulling her towards me, taking both of her small hands in my large ones, and looking up at her. "I know you're strong, Beautiful, but my fears are justified. You’ve fallen once before..." I closed my eyes and sighed, leaning my head against her torso. "I almost lost you once...I don't...I can't lose you like I lost my wife. I...can't go through that again."

I felt her run her fingers through my hair before she knelt in front of me. "Carth, I want you to promise me something."

I opened my eyes and laced my fingers through hers. "Anything."

Revan inhaled deeply before she spoke. "If...if something _does_ happen...if I do fall, I want you to do whatever you have to, to stop me."

I blinked at her. "You realize that you're asking me to..."

"Yes."

I shook my head. "I can't do that."

"You have to." she squeezed my hand. "Carth, I don't want to become that...that monster again. I’ve long since accepted the name, but I won’t be that woman again. I don't want to do those horrible things." she sighed. "That's why I want you to promise me that you'll do whatever you have to do to end it."

"Revan..."

She looked at me with pleading eyes. "Please, Carth. I swear to you that I'm going to try my hardest to not make you live up to this promise, but if it comes down to it...I'm going to need you to."

I cupped the side of her face and looked deep into her eyes. Revan was even stronger than I had originally believed. My fears suddenly dissolved, but to appease her, I nodded, knowing that I could never do what she was asking of me. "Okay, Beautiful." I sighed. "I promise."

She smiled, brushing her lips against my forehead. "Thank you."

I gathered her in my arms and hugged her tightly. "So was there something you wanted to tell me before you probed around in my head without my permission?"

Revan laughed softly, then nodded. "I was just going to tell you that we're ready for sparring practice now." she smiled wickedly. "And I'm ready to beat your ass."

I laughed with her and gave her a smug look. "Is that what you kids are calling it these days?"

She blushed and pinched me in the side. "Not what I meant."

"I'll meet you in the cargo hold in a bit," I kissed her, then lowered my voice. "What do you say later on we meet up for a little sparring match of our own? Me, you, pazaak?"

Revan frowned. "You hate pazaak."

I wiggled my eyebrows at her playfully. "Nar Shadaa rules."

She grinned as she stood, heading towards the door. "Sounds fun. That way I can kick your ass twice in one day."

I laughed. "I think I can live with that."

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  


"Alright, I'm done with you." Mission said, putting her hands on her knees in an attempt to catch her breath.

"Ah, come on, Mission." I laughed, wiping the sweat off my forehead. "Everyone else gave up, and I don't know where Carth's hiding..." my voice trailed off. Suddenly, I didn't feel very good. I reached over and steadied myself against the wall.

Mission frowned. "You okay?"

"I...I don't know." I closed my eyes, attempting to settle the dizziness. I wish I hadn't…

I stood in the middle of an old stone structure, and I could see a large door at the end of the hall. I didn't recognize this place, but I felt that I had been there before, long ago. The halls were dimly lit and smelled of mold and mildew. I could hear the clicking sound my boots made as they made contact with the stone floor.

It was way too quiet.

But the closer I drew to the door, I could hear the voices, muffled by the massive door.

" _You are strong, Child. But I will break you."_

Malak.

" _I will never fall to the dark side!"_

Bastila.

Pain shot through my entire body. My knees buckled, and I landed on all fours.

_Mission ran to my side, her eyes wide with fear. "Revan?"_

_When Malak sent his Force lightning into Bastila, it went through me as well, through our bond. I was separated from them because of the door, but I could see everything clearly._

_He had Bastila strapped down to a stone slab table. She was beyond pale, thin, her lips cracked and bleeding._

_I tried to reach the door, but the more I tried, the further away it seemed. "Bastila!"_

_Malak was torturing her. I could hear him repeating: "Become my apprentice." Trying to turn her. I could sense the confusion swirling inside of her._

_But she was fighting it. Trying so hard to fight it._

Another shock shot through me.

 

* * *

 

_-Mission-_

  


A part of me wanted to run, to get Carth, or Jolee, or Juhani. The other part of me wanted to stay with Revan. I didn't know what to do.

Luckily, Big Z wandered into the cargo hold, where I was with Revan. "Z., stay here with Revan so I can get Carth!"

Zaalbar growled. [What's going on?]

I shook my head. "I...I don't know. Just stay with her, kay?"

My friend nodded, and knelt next to Revan. [Hurry.]

I ran to the cockpit, hoping to find Carth there. No luck. Canderous was in the pilot's seat instead. He frowned at me when I entered.

"What's going on, kid?"

"Where's Carth?" I asked, frantically.

Canderous shrugged. "Republic? I don't know. He told me to take over and haven't seen him since -"

I didn't wait around long enough for him to explain. I rounded the corner, towards the refresher and ran smack into someone, almost knocking me off my feet.

"Mission! What's the rush?" Carth asked with a chuckle, catching me before I stumbled.

If the circumstances had been different, I would have made fun of the fact that he didn't have a shirt, and was walking around in pajama bottoms.

I tried to catch my breath. "Revan...cargo hold..."

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  


I didn't wait for Mission to explain. I rushed past her towards the cargo hold and heard a scream.

I ran towards the cargo hold, and skidded to a halt when I saw her. I froze.

Revan was curled in a fetal position on the floor, Zaalbar was kneeling beside her. I could see her shaking violently, and her body convulsed when she left out another loud scream, her back arching off of the metal flooring paneling.

The shrillness of the scream got me moving again. Zaalbar moved out of the way as I rushed to her side and cradled her in my arms. I looked up to see Mission standing in the doorway, fingering the necklace Revan had given her. "What happened?" I asked, as I rocked her back and forth.

"I...I don't know. We were sparring and all of a sudden she got really dizzy." she frowned. "She said something about Bastila."

This scene was all too familiar to me, as I held Revan. She clutched to me tightly as another convulsion went through her.

_I rushed to Morgana's side, the smoke from the aftermath settled in the air. She was barely breathing. "Morgana..."_

_She smile up at me through cracked, bleeding lips. "You came home..."_

_"I always keep my promises, you know that." I cradled her in my arms as she sucked in a ragged breath, brushing a lock of dirty blonde hair from her forehead. "Stay with me, baby."_

_Morgana's brow furrowed. "I lost Dustil..."_

_"Shh," I tried to sooth her. "We'll find him. Just stay with me. The medic's are on the way."_

_She tried to smile. "It's too late, sweetheart."_

_"Don't say that." my voice came out cracked with emotion. I could tell it was becoming harder for her to take each breath._

_"Find him, Carth." she said, reaching trembling hand up to touch the side of my face. "Promise me, you'll find him."_

_I could feel the tears start to form in my eyes. "I promise."_

_Morgana's body shook. "Dammit, woman stay with me." I looked around for any sign of a medic. "Medic!"_

_She closed her eyes. "I love you."_

_I hugged her tightly to me. "I love you, too."_

_Her body went limp. She was gone._

I shook my head, trying to fight back the images. I looked down at Revan. She was still trembling, eyes still closed. I looked down at her arms, and felt my stomach turn. Her scars from the wounds she had given her self had reopened, and the blood was staining her robes. I looked back up at Mission. "I'm gonna try to get her to bed. Go tell Jolee what happened. Bring some towels."

She nodded, and took off in the direction of the common room.

Carefully, I lifted Revan off the floor, and carried her to the bedroom.


	20. Part Twenty

_-Revan-_

  
  


_I fought desperately to get to the stone doorway, or at least to find another way, any way to get to Bastila._

_"Bastila...you have to fight it." I tried to speak to her through our bond._

_Silence._

_"Bastila?"_

_Nothing._

"Revan?"

_Carth? What was he doing here? How did he get here? I looked around for any sign of him, and came up empty._

"Revan? Stay with me, Gorgeous."

_No, he wasn't here. He was apparently trying to coax me awake, back into consciousness. I prayed that he didn't succeed. Not yet._

_I had to try to help Bastila. But I couldn't seem to manage to get to the bloody stone door._

_I felt another bolt of lightning fly through Bastila, through me. I cried out in pain._

"Damn it, woman! Don't you die on me!"

_Was I dying? No, I didn’t think I was, but I had a strong suspicion that if Malak continued further with his torture...neither Bastila or I would make it through this encounter. I silently cursed and thanked the bond at the same time._

I felt Carth grip my hand tightly in his, could feel the calluses on his fingers, his warmth. "Come back to me, Beautiful."

_Dammit, and he called me persistent? "Bastila, come on. I don't have much time, answer me!"_

_"Re-Revan?" a tentative voice finally answered._

_"Thank the Force. Bastila, you have to fight this. Don't give in to him."_

_"He's killing me, Revan. I can't fight this, I am not strong enough." she let out an strangled breath._

_"Like hell you're not. You've been lecturing me since Taris about the dark side. Despite what you may think, I was listening."_

_Bastila forced out a laugh. "And here I thought I was talking to a wall."_

_"No."_

"I don't like the way she's breathing." I could barely hear Jolee's comment nervously.

"Is she going to be okay?" Mission asked. "Why is she bleeding like that?"

Dammit, they're voices were getting closer. _"Bastila, I don't have much time. You can fight this."_

_"Revan - don't go. I need you to help me." she pleaded._

_"I'm with you, Bastila. Fight it!"_

_Silence._

"I think she's coming to!"

_"Bastila? Answer me, dammit!"_

_Silence._

Carth's soothing voice kept creeping in my ears, his warm breath on my skin, calling to me. "Come on, Gorgeous. Come back to me."

_"Bastila?"_

_"Don't go, Revan. Please..." Bastila's voice sounded further away than it had before._

_"Bastila, can you hear me?" I tried desperately to feel her through the Force. She was alive, I knew that for certain. But she and the Force bond were gone._

I bolted upright, briefly wondering how the hell I ended up in my quarters.

I felt Carth wrap his arms around me. "Force, Revan, you scared the hell outta me." His voice was muffled against my shoulder.

I blinked several times, replaying the Force vision over and over again in my head. I looked around and noticed the entire crew was in my room, gathered around my bed. With every damn vision I had, I felt more and more like a caged animal on display.

Carth finally released my waist and cupped my face. "You're as white as a sheet." he commented softly. "What the hell happened?"

I closed my eyes. My head was still pounding viciously, and I was still incredibly dizzy. "I...I was having a vision." I managed to whisper. "I had a vision." Suddenly, my heart dropped and I turned to Mission, remembering I was with her before all of this started. "Oh, Force, Mission - I...I didn't hurt you did I?"

Mission shook her head and seated herself next to Carth on my bed. "No. But you scared the poodoo outta me." she chewed on her bottom lip. "I thought you were dying."

I reached over Carth and grabbed the little twi'lek's hand. "I'm sorry, I...I didn't mean to scare you."

She smiled softly. "I know."

Carth massaged my temples with his thumbs. "What did you see, Beautiful?"

"Bastila. And Malak. He was torturing her...with Force lightning." my voice trailed off.

Jolee fingered his greying beard. "And every time he used it, you felt it, didn't you?"

I nodded. "He was trying to convince her to become his apprentice. She was fighting it so hard." I choked back sobs. "I kept telling her to fight it, that I was there...th-that she was strong enough to fight him." I paused, and turned to Jolee and Juhani. "Did you guys not feel it?"

Both Jedi's shook their heads sadly.

I sighed. "She was trying...so...hard to, to fight it. But when I started to come to, I started to lose the connection." I brought my hands up to grip Carth's wrists, his hands still on my face, more to steady my dizziness than anything. "But she's alive."

The room became deadly silent...still. I welcomed the silence as I gently squeezed Carth's wrists. With his gentle touch, my dizziness was slowly wearing off, but my head was still pounding, and my body still slightly trembled.

Carth finally broke the silence, turning to the rest of the crew. "Could you guys please give us a few minutes alone?"

Everyone nodded, and we ignored Canderous' comment of "Carth needs a quicky" as they all exited the room.

When they were gone, he turned back to me. "Are you sure you're alright?" he asked softly. "You're still trembling..."

I nodded slowly, then groaned at the pain that followed. "Yeah...I think so." I stopped, looking down at my arms, noticing for the first time the bandages that were securely fastened around them. I frowned. "How did that happen?"

Carth shook his head. "I don't know, Gorgeous. Mission came screaming at me that there was something wrong with you. I came running." he gently raked his hand through my hair, stopping to push a stray lock behind my ear. "When I got to the cargo hold, you were already laying unconscious on the floor, and I noticed your scars had somehow reopened." he sighed. "I've only been that scared once before, and I never thought I would have to re-live something like that ever again."

I looked down at my hands, which had settled in my lap. My fingernails were caked with dried blood. Ah. So _that's_ what happened. I gave him a sheepish look. "Looks like I have a self-mutilation complex."

He frowned, taking my hands in his, examining my fingers. "Blast it, woman..." he looked me in the eye. "You have to stop this."

I rolled mine. "It's not like I intended to do it this time, flyboy. When I'm in a vision, I can't really help what I physically do." I grinned at him. "Remember when I punched you and broke your nose?"

Carth tried to remain serious, but the corners of his mouth began to betray him. He licked his lips to try to hide his smile. "Yeah, I remember that quite vividly." he touched the bridge of his nose.

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


Just as quickly as the mood lightened a bit, it was gone even quicker. I touched her face. "What's wrong?"

Her eyes suddenly held a sense of sorrow deep within them. "I'm really worried about Bastila, Carth."

My hand settled on the back of her neck and I gave it a gentle squeeze, flashing her a sad smile of my own. "I know, Gorgeous. We all are."

Revan slid closer to me, moving into my lap. "I can't talk about this anymore." she whispered, and I could see her shiver slightly, so I didn't press the subject. "Hold me."

I smiled softly and wrapped my arms around her waist, kissing her hair. "Always, Beautiful."

We sat in silence for a few moments before she sighed. "I wish you wouldn't call me that."

"Call you what? Beautiful or Gorgeous?" I asked, nuzzling her neck.

"Either."

I frowned and looked at her strangely. "And why's that?"

She shook her head. "Because I'm neither one of those things."

"Bantha shit." I squeezed her gently. "You are to me. That's all that should matter. I wouldn't call you that if it weren't true.”

"That's your opinion." she stated, resting the back of her head on my shoulder.

I snorted sarcastically. "And my opinion doesn't matter?"

She patted my hand. "Of course it does, love."

I kissed her neck. "Then don't question me. You're beautiful, inside and out."

Revan shook her head. "Even if I was physically attractive, I seem to self mutilate myself, and whatever beauty was on the inside was tainted by the dark side, with all of those ghastly things I did as Darth Revan." she sighed. "It's my fault that Bastila's life is in danger-"

I groaned, reaching down to cover her mouth. "Stop right there. This is not your fault. None of it."

"Carth -"

"I'm not going to argue with you about this topic. Darth Revan is dead; I care for who you are now. Not for what you once were, although it does reflect on who you are today." I said sternly.

She brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, now that you know who you once were, you know what you want to be now, what you want to do. Everything that you've done up 'til now has been nothing but generous, and kind. You...you're changing your past by making up for it now, and will continue to do so in the future." I shifted so that I could look her in the eye, using my thumb and index finger to bring her chin up to make eye contact. "I believe that...that there is going to come a time where you're going to have to make a decision. I don't know why, it's just this nagging feeling I have in the back of my mind. But I feel that you're going to be tested. That's why I wanted to give you a reason to stay on the path that you're on now, to give you a future with me."

I paused and kissed her lightly on the lips. "I care so much for you, Beautiful, and it grows even more true every day. Every time you smile at me, every time you help someone. Whether it be me, another one of the crew members, or a complete stranger." I kissed her again. " _That_ is what makes you beautiful on the inside." I lowered my voice and smiled at her playfully. "And you're definitely not bad to look at, either."

I could see tears forming in her beautiful eyes, but she blinked them away and managed out a small giggle. "You're not so bad to look at, yourself, flyboy." she paused and grinned. "You can really manage to go on a rant when you want to, Onasi."

I kissed her again, a little longer this time. "And I mean every bit of it, Gorgeous. Everything that you've done with the crew, especially with Mission..." my voice trailed off. I smiled and brushed her hair away from her forehead. "I have a feeling you're going to make a wonderful mother some day."

She looked up at me in amazement. "Really?"

I nodded. "Yes. Really."

Revan looked thoughtful for a moment. "I've never even considered the possibility of children before." she gave a short laugh. "I've always been too much of one myself."

I chuckled and tucked her head underneath my chin. "It's refreshing, really. I'm too old to pull off innocence."

She chewed on her lower lip, thinking. "Does our age difference bother you at all, Carth?"

The question caught me off guard. I looked down at her worriedly. “Does it bother you?"

She laughed. "I asked you first, flyboy."

I ran my hands along her arms. "I haven't really thought about it, really."

Revan reached up and started to twirl a lock of curly hair around her index finger, waiting for me to respond. "Well," she whispered. "Could you see yourself having children with me?"

"To be honest, it does kind of bother me that when that if we were to have kids, I'd be nearly fifty when they turned ten years old." I wrinkled my nose. I had done the whole family thing. Did I really want to go through it again? But I couldn't stop the feeling that it gave me when I thought about it. It made me smile. "Yeah. I can definitely see that in our future."

She smiled. "So can I. Though, I don't really know how that would work. I'm a Jedi. We're not aloud to love, not to mention have 'relations' with handsome Republic pilots and have little pilot babies." she used her fingers to put emphasis on the word "relations."

I chuckled at her analogy. "We'll make it work somehow, Beautiful."

Revan's smile faded slowly, and she gently nibbled at her bottom lip. I knew that meant that she was thinking. "I think the talk of a family is a bit premature, considering that we don't even know if we'll survive the Star Forge."

"We will." I assured her, kissing her lightly on the forehead. "Get some sleep, Gorgeous."

"I'm not tired." she replied, then smiled a little. "Besides, I still owe you a game of pazaak, Nar Shadaa style."

I grinned. "We have plenty of time for that, Beautiful, but for now you need to rest. We'll put our sparring match on hold until tomorrow, if you're feeling up to it."

Revan was silent for a moment, then frowned a little. "Carth, should we be doing this?"

I looked at her curiously. "Doing what?"

She sighed. "Laughing, joking..." she paused and looked into my eyes. "being happy? With everything with Bastila...it almost seems wrong, doesn't it?"

I stood from the bed and pulled the blankets around her. "Considering everything that's going on, I think that yes we should be doing all of those things," I whispered. "Now more so than ever."


	21. Part Twenty-One

_-Revan-_

  
  


_I walked down the corridor of a ship I vaguely recognized, but realized I knew my way around quite well. I entered a large room, which appeared to be the bridge of the huge vessel. It was already occupied by two other sentient beings. A pilot, and another tall figure, who had his back to me, hands clasped behind his back._

_I could tell by the stature that it was a man. His grayish bald head glistened from the overhead lights._

_He seemed to sense my presence. He turned with a grin on his face. "Master, I am pleased to see you. I have a gift for you."_

_Malak walked over to me, placing a hand on the small of my back, ushering me over to the large window. Through it, I could see a planet. Which, though, I was not certain._

_"Telos," he answered my unspoken question, reading my thoughts._

_I felt Malak shift behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. "What's going on here?" I asked, turning my head sideways to look at him._

_I shivered as Malak nuzzled and kissed the nape of my neck. "Watch, my Master." was all he said._

_My eyes widened in shock as the entire surface of Telos exploded in fire and smoke. "My gift to you, Lord Revan. If you listen closely, you can almost_ hear _the suffering..."_

_I closed my eyes as I felt anger sweep its way through my entire body. "Did I ask you to do this, Malak?" I didn't know why, but the destruction of this particular planet irked me to the very bone._

" _No, Master. I just wanted to show you the power that you yield flows through everything, through me. I knew you wanted..."_

_I ignited my crimson lightsaber and swung towards him, cutting his jaw clean off his face, the heat of the blade cauterizing the wound instantly. I watched as he knelt on the floor as he gazed up at me, pure fear in his eyes._

_I didn't flinch and kicked the lifeless chunk of flesh that was once plastered to his face across the room. I pointed my lightsaber at him menacingly. "Don't you_ ever _assume you know what I want, apprentice."_

My eyes shot open as I bolted upright in bed. I jumped slightly when I felt two strong arms tighten around my midsection, pulling me back down onto the bed.

I let out a sigh of relief when I realized it was Carth.

"What's wrong, Beautiful?" he whispered, still engulfed with sleep.

I settled back down and snuggled closer to him, the events of the dream still very fresh in my mind. I didn't know how many more of these nightmares or Force visions I could handle. But as long as Carth was there…

"Rev?" Carth leaned forward and kissed my cheek. "You alright?"

"I'm...okay. Just a bad dream." I lied, nuzzling my face in his neck. I felt that I needed to be as close to him as possible. In his arms. It was the only place that I felt totally, and completely safe. He never seemed to mind.

Carth kissed my temple. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Not now," I told him. "now I just wanna lay here with you."

He smiled and kissed my forehead again. "Sounds good to me, Beautiful."

An hour later, I still couldn't get back to sleep, in fear of having another vision. I stared up at the ceiling of the ship, into the darkness. I sighed.

I wiggled out of Carth's arms, careful not wake him. Searching through the dark room, I found my bath robe and slipped it on.

"Rev?"

I winced and walked back over to the bed, I could see Carth perched on his forearm looking at me. I knelt down and leaned on the mattress. "I'm sorry, honey, I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep."

He yawned, laid his head back on the pillow and reached over and took my hand. "Where you goin'?"

I smiled and gave his fingers a squeeze. "I couldn't sleep. I'm just going to get something to drink."

"Want some company?" he asked, starting to get up, but I gently pushed him back down.

"I would love company, but you're exhausted. Get some sleep." I kissed his forehead. "I won't be long."

Carth smiled and gently pulled me to him, brushing his lips softly against mine. "Wake me up when you get back." he grinned playfully and gave me a pat on the backside, then kissed me again. "Hurry up, Gorgeous."

I kissed him again, then exited the room. To my surprise, Juhani was seated at the counter, downing a bowl of soup. "Evening."

Her head shot up, as if she were shocked to see me standing there. "Good evening, Revan. What are you doing up so late?"

I shrugged and made my way into the common room and settled in the chair in front of her. "Bad dream. Couldn't fall back asleep afterwards."

Juhani nodded. "I, too, had a vision. Of Quatra." She looked a little sheepish. "I know I was to be on cockpit duty, but I accidentally fell asleep."

I chuckled. "It's no problem. Carth does it all the time."

"Does he." the tone of her voice let me know that it wasn't a question, but a statement disguised with disgust.

I glanced at her sympathetically. "Juhani..."

She waved her hand dismissively in front of her face. "I am sorry, Revan. I am still having trouble...controlling my emotions. I apologize." she averted her gaze, and stared down at the table. "I don't fear that I have been fair to you, or Carth, and I must apologize to you. To him as well." she paused. "I should remember my training. Jedi shouldn't have such feelings towards...anyone."

I looked at her questionably. "Putting your feelings aside," I asked, lacing my fingers together and rested them on the table. "do you feel that my feelings for him are wrong? That what we're doing is wrong?"

The Cathar was silent for a moment. "I can't answer that, Revan. All I know, for a fact, is that he seems to bring out a...light from inside you, that I have only seen emitted from you when you’re near him. As much as I don't want to admit it..." she paused, finally looking me in the eye. "It's pleasurable to see."

I smiled sympathetically at her, reaching over to get her hand a squeeze. "For what it's worth, Juhani, I'm sorry. But thank you, for the kind words."

She finally smiled. "No need. As long as you are happy, than I should be as well, and I can definitely see how happy he makes you."

I nodded. "He does make me happy. More than I ever thought that I could be, or deserved to be...after all I've done to his life...he still somehow manages to find it in his heart to care for me. And I care for him so much. I..." _I love him._

She nodded, understanding. "He is a good man."

"Yes, he is."

We both looked up to see Carth standing in the doorway of the common room, a smile plastered on his handsome face. His hair in disarray, standing in all directions. His eyes settled on me and seemed to dance in the dim lighting.

"Hey, handsome. Thought you were sleeping." I said, gesturing for him have a seat next to me.

After giving a hesitant glance at Juhani, he did.

Juhani cleared her throat. "I should be getting back my cockpit duties." she stood and gave the two of us a smile. "Good night."

"Night." Carth and I both said as we watched her leave.

When she was gone, Carth turned to me, placing a hand on my neck and bringing my face close to his, kissing me so passionately, that it made me light-headed.

When he finally pulled back, we were both breathless. I grinned. "What was that for?"

Carth smiled lazily, tracing my jawline with his thumb. "For being yourself, Beautiful."

I blushed, realizing that he had overheard mine and Juhani's conversation. "How much did you hear?"

He pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. "Enough." he paused, his smile slowly faded. "I'm sorry for causing so much friction between you and Juhani."

"Don't. She'll come around." I paused, as a thought entered my mind. "I, I think it has a lot more to do with the tension of being so close to the Star Forge. It has us all on edge." I said, taking his hand and lacing my fingers through his.

Carth nodded, bringing my hand up to his mouth and brushing his lips against my knuckles. "Three more days."

I matched his nod solemnly. "I'm scared." I admitted. "It's going to be so hard, facing Malak now. Rescuing Bastila..." my voice trailed off.

Carth lifted his free hand and cupped the side of my face, running his thumb across my temple. "I know. I'm scared too. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it's going to be for you, but I'm going to be there, every step of the way. By your side." He kissed me, gently this time. "You're not in this alone."

I rested my forehead against his. "I know," I whispered. "Thank you."

His kissed the bridge of my nose. "Always, Gorgeous." he kissed my forehead before standing, pulling me up with him. "It's probably best if we try to keep our minds off of things for a while. Using the last couple of days to relax and ready ourselves."

I looked at him thoughtfully. "How do we do that?"

Carth grinned down at me as he ushered me back to our room. His eyes beaming mischievously as he stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I can think of a couple of ways..."

I grinned, feeling light-headed again. "Sounds like a plan."  


	22. Part Twenty-Two

_-Revan-_

  


When I awoke the next morning, I breathed a sigh of relief that I had slept through the remains of the night with no further nightmares or visions. I looked over to see Carth still sound asleep, his arm draped tightly around my waist, his face buried in my shoulder.

As gently as I could, I wiggled out from his embrace, careful not to wake him.

I grabbed a pair of clean robes and started to head to the refresher, when I heard some sort of commotion coming from the cargo hold. Frowning, I put my robes on the counter and followed the noise.

I entered the cargo hold and my eyebrows shot up in surprise. "HK? What are you doing?"

The copper assassin droid was hovering above a small gizka, blasters drawn. His head shot up at my voice.

"Answer: I was going to execute the injured gizka, Master."

I frowned and walked further into the room. "Put your weapons away, HK."

The droid did as he was told.

I walked over and scooped the tiny creature in my arms. It tried to wiggle free but the pain it was it halted it's movements. "How did it get injured in the first place, HK?"

If it were possible, I would have thought the homicidal droid looked a bit sheepish.

"Hesitant Answer: I...stepped on it."

I rolled my eyes. "Purposely? Or Accidentally?"

"Mocking Query: Master, do you really believe that I would cause harm to any life form by merely _stepping_ on it? I'm insulted. Proud Statement: I have several multi-functional weapons -"

I sighed. "I know, I know. Power down for a while, HK."

"Yes, Master."

When he deactivated, I took the small creature into the medbay.

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  


I stood there watching her for a while, briefly wondering if she sensed my presence. Revan seemed to always sense when I was around, most of the time. But if she did, she made no recognition of it.

I watched as she administered medication to the tiny creature. _If Malak could see her now, saving the life of a helpless animal, he'd shit himself._ I had to smile at irony of it. Revan, former Dark Lord Of The Sith, was saving the life of a helpless, defenseless gizka.

I stared in awe as she worked on the little guy's wounds, delicate fingers stitching into the flesh of the wriggling creature. _How could this kind, beautiful woman, who has love for all lives – great and small – have been the same one who destroyed the lives of so many?_

"So are you just gonna stand there like a Ronto caught in a speeder's headlights or are you gonna help me?" she didn't look up at me, but I could vaguely see the smile spreading on her lips as she worked.

"What happened to him?" I asked, moving further into medbay.

Revan snorted. "HK stepped on him."

I frowned. "How did that cause the gash?"

She shook her head, sighing. "I don't know. I told the crazy droid to deactivate before I got much detail."

I stood next to the gurney and scratched the little critter behind it's nub for an ear. "Can't you use the Force to heal him?"

She shrugged. "I've never used Heal on an animal, and he's so small I'm afraid it might be a little too much for the little guy." she paused. "Besides, the wounds aren't that serious. He'll be fine. Just need to close the wound and he'll be back to normal."

I smiled and reached up, brushing my hand across her cheek. "You're amazing."

Revan winked at me as she scratched the gizka's chin. It cooed up at her appreciatively. She leaned down and he licked her nose.

"Hey, you," I pointed a finger at the yellow creature in a mock menacing gesture. "only I can do that."

She giggled as the gizka looked at my finger amusingly and flicked it's slimy tongue out to lick it. I chuckled.

Revan gave me a smoldering look. "Says who?" she tied a white bandaged over the the gizka's belly and scooped the him up in her arms then settled him on the floor. It cooed at her feet before bouncing out of the medbay.

I walked over to Revan and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Says me, woman. And if you have a problem with it..."

She gave me an amused look, trying to hold back her laughter.

"...you'll just have to get over it. Or else I'll cash in on that rain check about putting you over my knee." I nipped at her lower lip.

"You keep promising all these things then not stepping up to the plate, flyboy, and I'm going to start thinking you're pulling my chains." she challenged with a smirk.

I grinned. "Heh, chains huh? Never tried that before. But if you're willing..."

The corners of Revan's mouth twitched upwards as she poked me in the stomach. "Keep on, Onasi, and I'll be forced to put a stasis on you."

"Promises, promises, Beautiful."

She stood on her toes and kissed my cheek. "I'm gonna go shower."

I wiggled my eyebrows at her playfully. "Is that an invitation?"

Revan frowned, but she still held a slight smile on her lips. "Mr. Onasi, you're acting very...Canderous-like this morning."

"Oh, ouch!" I put my hand over my chest. "I'm insulted."

She giggled and moved past me. "Why don't you go start a pot of caffa while I go shower?"

I nodded. "Sure thing, Gorgeous." I watched as she headed down the hall to the refresher, then I heard a booming laugh drift from the common room, and then Canderous' voice ask:

"Who T.P.'d the gizka?"

I chuckled and entered the common room, where Canderous stood, laughing and pointing at the tiny, injured creature. "That would be the work of HK and Revan. Apparently HK stepped on him."

The Mandalorian snorted. "And doctor Revan, light-side extraordinaire, to the rescue, huh?"

I rolled my eyes and poured myself a cup of caffa, that apparently, Canderous had already made. "Naturally."

I sniffed the black liquid suspiciously before taking a sip. Canderous wasn't one to put effort in such business, that I had noticed, and drinking the caffa made by a Mandalorian made me feel a little uneasy. But it tasted alright. So far. "Who taught you to make caffa?"

He snorted again as he took a seat at the counter, crossing his arm over his chest. "Who do you think? Revan."

I breathed a sigh of relief, and sat across from him. "Thank the Force for small favors."

We sat in silence for a few moments, before Canderous cleared his throat. "So how is she?"

I shrugged. "As far as I can tell, she's doing okay. I don't think she's had anymore visions, nightmares, whatever they are. If she has, she hasn't told me about them."

"That's good, but it's not what I meant." a sinister smile slowly appeared on his face.

I nearly spit out my caffa and shot him a warning look.

Canderous smirked. "Oh, come off it, Republic. You're the only one getting lucky on this metal death trap. Let me live vicariously through you."

"That," I said sternly. "would be a no." I stood up, thinking that now would be a good time to relieve whoever it was in the cockpit. "You can get your shits and giggles off the holonet."

"I could," Canderous nodded. "But I wouldn't be able to give you some pointers that way."

To my surprise, I found myself sitting back down.

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  


I waited until I knew for a fact that Jolee was deep in meditation before sneaking into his quarters. I hated invading Jolee's privacy, but this was the only way I could get my hands on _Darth_ Revan's lightsaber.

I shuffled through his footlocker. I cursed softly when I found that it wasn't in there.

I glanced over at Jolee who was sitting cross-legged on the floor, eyes shut. A pang of guilt hit my stomach, but I shoved it away. _Tried_ shoving it away.

Taking a deep breath, I used the Force to locate the lightsaber. _Bingo,_ I thought with a grin. I stood on Jolee's bed and lightly tapped my knuckles on the hollow panel and slid it back.

The lightsaber fell onto the bed with a silent _thud._ I picked it up and examined it. _What am I doing?_ I asked myself silently as I headed to the door. _This will only lead to disaster._

"Ahem."

Startled, I turned back to see Jolee's eyes open and settling into a frown. He stood and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Care to explain what you're doing, my dear?"


	23. Part Twenty-Three

  
  


_-Carth-_

  
  


Shaking my head, I exited the common room. I wanted to kick myself for having stayed and listened to Canderous. Needless to say, most of his "pointers" left little to the imagination, and were enough to make _this_ grown soldier blush profusely. Most had been rather crude, if not brutal, and I couldn't picture myself participating in.

There were, however, a couple that I had found _interesting._ I couldn't help but be anxious to try some of them out. Like…

Muffled voices, seeming to come from Jolee's private quarters, interrupted my thoughts. One of the voices sounded like Revan. Frowning, I neared the door and peeked in.

Jolee was standing in front of Revan, arms crossed over his chest with a hard expression on his face. Revan, was seated on his footlocker. One arm laid lifelessly across her knees, the other propped her head up, her fingers pinching the the bridge of her nose. She looked pale, and what I could gather from the way her eyes were squeezed shut, she was fighting a headache.

She looked up, sensing my presence. Her eyes flickered happily when she saw me, if only for a brief moment, before it vanished.

Jolee cocked his head to the side, looking at me. "Come in, son."

I pushed the door further open. "What's going on?"

The old Jedi turned his attention back on Revan, who seemed to pale even more, if that were even possible. "It seems our ambitious ex-Sith Lord has been taking breaking and entering classes from Mission."

I raised my eyebrows and looked at Revan. She averted her gaze, looking down at the footlocker.

My eyes followed hers, widening when they settled on their destination. I noticed the metallic silver hilt of the lightsaber. The insignia carved into the metal seemed to glisten in the harsh light. "Revan?" My voice came out only just above a whisper.

Revan pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them, hugging herself. Her dark hair falling over her face, making her already pale complexion seem even more so. "I swear, it's not what you think."

"Enlighten us, my dear." Jolee's face was still as harsh as the Tatooine sun.

I fought the urge to comfort Revan when she raked a nervous hand through her hair. I moved further into the room and squatted in front of her, clasping my hands in front of me. My knees crackled loudly in protest. _I'm getting too old for this._

Reading my thoughts, Jolee snorted and shook his head. "Come on, lass. Out with it. I'm not getting any younger here."

Revan sighed raggedly before she spoke. "A thought occurred to me while I was in the shower," she reached up and nervously twirled a lock of hair around her index finger. She frowned. "It was almost like a vision, but wasn't." she let out an aggravated sigh and tried again. "I remember, from the vision I had on Korriban, Malak told me that he could _feel_ the power in the lightsaber. _I_ could feel it, and I just thought..." her voice trailed off as she buried her head in her knees.

I reached over and took her hand reassuringly, running my thumb across her knuckles.

She looked up at me, chewing on her lower lip. "I just thought...that, that if I could modify it..."

Jolee and I exchanged confused glances.

Revan shook her head. "When I first made it, I think I put a lot of Darth Revan into it. I just thought that if I could form it to who I am now, and still have that power to it, I wouldn't have to worry so much."

I frowned. "Worry about what?"

She looked into my eyes, then over at Jolee. "Protecting all of you."

Jolee's face softened. "So you think that if you had a more powerful lightsaber, that it would somehow give you more courage to face Malak and not manage to get yourself killed?"

"I could have done without that, thanks Jolee." I growled.

"I'm not worried about protecting myself." Revan stated. "I'm worried about protecting my _friends."_

Jolee sighed. "There's more to it than that."

Revan's eyes suddenly narrowed and she took the lightsaber in her hand. " _This_ is the only thing I have left to remind me of who I once was. _I have nothing._ No childhood memories, no memories of a first kiss, no memories of my parents, only vague shadows. The few memories that I _do_ have I don't even know if they're real." Tears formed in her eyes, but she didn't let them fall. "All I have...are you guys. I want to make sure _nothing_ happens to any of you." Her eyes settled on me, as if to say: _Especially you._

I moved to sit next to her on the footlocker and gently pried the lightsaber from the fingers that she had tightened around the hilt and wrapped my arms around her protectively. "We're just as worried about protecting you as you are protecting us, Beautiful."

Jolee nodded in agreement. "If not more so."

Revan looked confused, then drooped her head. I lifted her chin. "You don't know how hard it is for me to think that I could lose you, by death or to the dark side. But Beautiful, I'll be damned if I'm going to let either take you away from me." I paused, leaning over and kissing her temple. "I will do everything in my power to keep you safe."

Jolee placed a hand on her shoulder. "We all will." he gave her a gentle squeeze. "You don't need powerful weapons or brute strength to defeat Malak. Although it's a nice advantage. But you have knowledge, along with your strength. With that strength, you have even more so with all of us; a Wookiee, a teenage future smuggler, a war crazy Mandalorian..."

"Not to mention perverted." I mumbled.

"...a paranoid, decorated war hero, a Cathar Jedi, and this wrinkled old Jedi standing in front of you, who all love you and will fight by your side until the end."

I hugged her to me, pressing a kiss into her temple. "Damn straight."

Revan grinned and poked me in the ribs. "I would have added stubborn to the decorated war hero."

"But if it will make you feel better, my dear, I will help you modify your lightsaber." he offered. "However, I suggest that we built one from scratch, and not using _that_ one."

She nodded. Revan stood and hugged Jolee. "I'm sorry for breaking in, Jolee."

He grinned and hugged her back. "Bah, think nothing of it, lass." he gently pushed her away and looked at her sternly. "Just don't make a habit of it."

She smiled sheepishly. "I won't. I promise." Revan leaned over and picked up the lightsaber. "I'm going to get rid of this thing once and for all."

Jolee gave her a short nod. "Good idea, lass. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get back to the meditation that I was doing before I was so _rudely_ interrupted." he gave her chin a small squeeze before shooing us out of the room.

I followed her into the cargo hold. "What are you going to do with it?"

Revan walked over to the airlock, and pushed a button that opened a small compartment that was mainly used to dump garbage or what have you, out into space. She shoved the lightsaber into the compartment and slid the door closed. There was a _whoosh_ sound and a slight clunking as she pressed the release button, sending the damned lightsaber into orbit.

I walked up behind her and slid my arms around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder. "You okay, Gorgeous?"

She shrugged as she leaned into me, resting her arms over mine. "I don't know."

I tightened my hold on her. "I can't even begin to fathom what you're going through." I said softly. "Having no memories...I...I don't know how you keep going. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. I don't think I could do it." I buried my face in her hair, taking in the sweet smell of her shampoo. "Although, I do have to admit, Gorgeous, I have no qualms about being the only memory you have of a first kiss."

That got a smile out of Revan. "I don't mind that either, flyboy."

I spun her around in my arms and brushed the hair off of her forehead. I leaned over and kissed her, pulling her against me. I smirked wickedly at her. "So, how about that pazaak game?"

"Eww, you guys!"

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


Carth and I turned to see Mission standing before us, her nose scrunched. "Just because I like you two together doesn't mean I wanna see it!"

I wiggled out of Carth's embrace and playfully pushed her shoulder. "If you don't wanna see it, don't look."

Mission looked appalled. "I wasn't _trying_ to look! I was just coming in here to use the workbench and found you two playing tonsil hockey."

I looked over to see Carth's face reddened with embarrassment and rub the back of his neck. I giggled.

"So, um, what did you need the workbench for?" He asked, trying to change the subject.

"Well, I wanted to see if you would help me upgrade my blasters, but if you're too busy..."

Carth waved his hands. "I'm not too busy to help you." He turned to me. "Do you mind, Gorgeous?"

I shook my head. "Of course not. I'll just go relieve Juhani from cockpit duty for a while." I kissed him quickly on the cheek. "I'll just catch up with you later."

He smiled, then ushered Mission over to the workbench, as I headed to the cockpit.

I spent several hours conversing with Juhani until she finally left and retired to her quarters.

Finally, Carth joined me. "Hey, there's a beautiful woman in my seat."

I turned to him and gave him a smug smile. "You can always come and sit in my lap, flyboy."

Carth laughed and stood in front of me. "Nah," he took my hands and pulled me to my feet, only to sit down and pull me into his lap. "I'd rather have you sitting on mine."

I rolled my eyes playfully at him, but nestled my head against his shoulder. "So, did you get Mission's blaster's upgraded?"

He nodded, as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "Yeah, but I hope she doesn't think she's accompanying us on the Star Forge. It's too damn dangerous."

"I agree. She's not going to like that, however."

"Well, she's just going to have to get over it." he mindlessly twirled a lock of my hair around his finger. "I'm not going to let her step foot off the Hawk, and if I had it my way, I wouldn't let you either."

I smiled dryly at him. "I _have_ to go, Carth."

Carth leaned his head against mine and sighed, his breath tickling my face. "I know."

When he didn't say anything more, I continued. "This is between me and Malak. I..." I paused, trying to think of my words carefully. "I think it would be better if you stayed behind with Mission."

“That’s not going to happen, Revan. I made a promise to protect you, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you push me away now." I could feel his grip on me tighten. "I'm not just going to sit here and let you take home all of the glory without me."

I sat back and shifted so I could face him, frowning. "I'm not in this for the glory."

Carth snorted. "I know, I was only joking. But I'm still not going to let you go on your own. It's not that I don't think that you can't take care of yourself, I know you can. Hell you've saved my ass more times than I can count on this mission."

I shrugged. "If you didn't have such a cute ass I might not have."

He chuckled. "Gee, thanks." Carth cleared his throat and turned serious again. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Revan. Besides," he leaned down, brushing his lips against mine. "I kinda like you."

I smiled. "I kinda like you too, flyboy."

He kissed me again, his hands finding their way into my hair. I kissed him back, feeling completely safe in his arms, his warm body against mine.

We were torn apart moments later by an alert sound from the computer console. We jumped apart, Carth checking the navi-computer.

"What's going on?" I asked when I saw the look on his face.

He turned back to me, worry crossing over his handsome features. "We've entered the Star Forge system."  


	24. Part Twenty-Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally when I wrote this chapter, I had Revan singing lyrics to Less Than Jake's song "Hopeless Case." I've decided to remove the song, but this chapter was still inspired heavily by it. It's a damn good song, and I think it fits "my" Revan pretty well. Check it out if you haven't heard it!
> 
> Also, this chapter has a lot of game dialogue, just with a bit of added flavor.

_-Carth-_

  
  


"The Star Forge..." I couldn't keep the awe out of my voice. "I've never seen anything like it."

I glanced over at Revan, her face completely expressionless, except for the frown that was slowly creasing over her brow. I reached over and brushed her hair behind her ear. "You can do this."

She made no move to respond, she just stared straight ahead, eyes locked on the Star Forge, narrowing at the sight of the militia of ships hovering around it.

I sighed and turned back to the computer console. "I'm transmitting our coordinates to Admiral Dodonna. Maybe a quick strike from the Republic can cripple the Sith's fleet."

Revan only nodded, twirling a lock of hair around her finger nervously.

I sent the coordinates and turned back to her. "Message away. Now we just have to wait for them to arrive We should be safe here. We're outside of their sensor range."

Revan leaned over the console, her frown deepening. "I don't think waiting is going to be an option." She pointed out. "Look."

A small squadron of Sith fighters were heading in our direction at rapid speed. Our sensors began to beep shrilly.

I gripped her shoulders. "Get to those gun turrets. Take those fighters out before they report our position to their main fleet!"

She nodded and took off in the direction of the turrets.

 

* * *

 

  
  


_-Revan-_

  
  


Carth's voice boomed over the Hawk's comm system. "We've got company! We have a vanguard of Sith fighters coming in hard. Revan's on the turrets. Everyone else, buckle in!"

I settled into the turret cockpit, waiting for my chance. Using the Force, I tuned into Carth's personal communicator. "You're sexy when you're being all demanding, flyboy."

"Now's not the time, Gorgeous." His voice was stern, but I could hear the smile on his face. "Here they come. Take your shot, Beautiful."

  
  


* * *

 

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


I maneuvered the ship as carefully as I could, so that Revan would have a clear, easy advantage. I shadowed my eyes with my hand as the blasts from the turrets were sent into two of the fighters at once. They exploded into a ball of flames.

I grinned with pride. "That's my girl. You got two more coming up, Gorgeous."

When the last two of the Sith fighters were destroyed, Revan rejoined me in the cockpit. "Nice shooting." I grinned at her.

Revan shrugged and gave me a lopsided grin. "Learned from the best."

I winked at her.

Suddenly, the Ebon Hawk shook violently. Frowning, I turned back to the computer console. "Blast it!"

"What was that?" Revan asked, looking around for any possible damage.

Alarms began to scream loudly throughout the cockpit. "We're caught in some disrupted field." I frantically racked my brain, trying to figure out what to do. "All of my instruments are jammed. We have massive overloads on all systems." I groaned, slamming my fists down onto the console.

I looked down at the navi-computer. "I'm picking up a single planet in this system. I'm going to try to put us down there." I gestured for her to sit down in the co-pilots seat. "Hold on. This may be a rough landing."

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


"Rough landing indeed, Onasi." I groaned after we touched down onto the planet. And I use the word  _ "touched" _ loosely. More like  _ rammed. _ I touched my head, where it had _ smashed _ into one of the security cameras above our heads. I pulled my fingers away. They were red and sticky.

Carth unbuckled himself and moved in front of me, examining my wound. He winced, gently taking my head in his hands. "Are you alright?"

I gave him a dry look. "Sure, I enjoy bleeding from my head."

He rolled his eyes. "Ha ha. Very funny." He pulled a handkerchief from the pocket of his flight jacket and pressed it gently to my forehead. "I'm sorry, Gorgeous. This seems a little all too familiar." He was speaking of when we first met, after our escape pod had crashed on Taris.

I shook my head and brushed his hand away. "I'm fine, flyboy." I looked him over for any signs of damage. "You okay?

Carth nodded. "No damage done."

I stood, gently pushing him out of the cockpit. "Good. We need to check to see if everyone else is okay."

We entered the common room, where the rest of the crew had already gathered.

"Whew! Talk about your rough landings, Carth. What happened? You were flying like you had been on an all night Tarisian ale drinking binge." Mission teased, crossing her arms over her chest.

Carth rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "The disruptor field fried our stabilizers. We're lucky we made it down in one piece. But if we can't find the salvage to make repairs, I won't even be able to get the Hawk airborne again."

"During our  _ rather rapid _ descent," Juhani eyed Carth accusingly. "I noticed the hulls of many crashed ships scattered across the landscape. Perhaps the parts you need can be found among their wreckage."

Canderous snorted. "The Cathar's right: This planet is a technological graveyard. I saw dozens of downed ships out there. That disruptor field must have wiped them all out." he paused and rubbed his chin. "But where could it be coming from?"

Carth racked an aggravated hand through his hair. "Even if we get the stabilizers fixed, we'll have to find and disable the source of that disruptor field before we can take off. Otherwise, we'll just end up crashing again."

A disturbing thought suddenly hit me. "That disruptor field could wipe out the entire Republic fleet!"

Carth winced. "You're right, Beautiful. The Sith fleet we saw must have some type of protection against the disruptor field. We have to find a way to disable it or the Republic will be slaughtered."

A grin spread over Canderous' face. "Not necessarily a bad thing, Republic."

Everyone glared at him. He held up his hands in surrender.

" _ Beep booop beeeep!" _

Mission walked over and plugged T3 up to the computer console. "T3's picking up some massive power fluctuations on the ship's sensors. They seem to be coming from some type of large, stone structure to East. It looks like some sort of ancient temple."

I thought back to the vision I had of Malak torturing Bastila. They had been in a stone temple. "Maybe that's where Malak's taken Bastila. We can't forget about her."

Carth placed a reassuring arm around my shoulders. "We haven't forgotten about her. But we can't do her much good stuck down here. We have to help ourselves before we can help her."

Juhani sighed, drumming her fingers on the counter. "I only hope we're not too late. Bastila has been Malak's prisoner for a long time. If he can turn her to the dark side, the Sith will be invincible."

I dropped my head. " _ I _ only hope she's strong enough to deny him." I felt Carth squeeze my shoulder.

Jolee leaned back in his seat. "I fear Bastila will find the lure of the dark side difficult to resist. She is strong in the Force, but she is also impulsive, willful, and proud." he paused, his eyes darting over to me. "As you once were, Revan."

I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling ashamed. "I...I've accepted the name, but...I'm not her anymore."

Carth kissed my temple.

Jolee grinned. "I'm glad to hear you say that. Now that you know your true identity, I was afraid you may slip back into your old way." he paused and his grin slowly faded. "Especially after that whole lightsaber incident..." his voice trailed off. "But if Bastila feels as you do, there may be hope for her yet."

I looked down at the floor, trying to block out the curious glances I was getting from everyone else.

Carth cleared his throat. "Well, if Bastila's on the Star Forge like you think, Jolee, then we can't rescue her until we disable that disruptor field. The sooner we investigate that temple...the better."

Mission looked skeptical. "I hope everything works out as smooth as you make it sound, Carth."

He nodded. "So do I, Mission. So do I."

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


To our dismay, nightfall fell before we could get the chance to explore the downed ships around the area. We decided to wait until morning to investigate. We didn't know anything about this planet, or its habitat. There was no telling what kind of animals made their homes here. If there were any at all.

Canderous, Jolee, the droids, and I spent our time checking the hyperdrive.

Currently, I was looking for Revan. She hadn't been in our quarters, wasn't sitting in the cockpit. I frowned.

I entered the common room. She wasn't there either. Mission and Zaalbar were seated on the floor, playing pazaak.

"Have either of you seen Revan?" I asked hopefully.

They shook their heads.

"Last time I saw her, she said she was going for a walk." Mission admitted, checking her clock. "I thought she would be back by now, though."

My frown deepened. So did my worry. "How long has she been gone?"

Mission looked a little worried herself. "About a standard hour or two."

I shook my head. "Damn that frustrating... _ infuriating  _ woman!" I grabbed my blasters off the counter and slid them into my holsters. Just in case. "I'm going to go find her."

Mission and Zaalbar stood. "I'll go with you."

I almost argued with her, but then again, four eyes would be better than two. "Alright, Mission. Grab your blasters. We may need them." I turned to the Wookiee. "Zaalbar, would you please stay here, just in case she comes back?"

Zaalbar growled with a nod.

Mission slid her newly upgraded blasters into her holsters. "Let's go."

I handed her a pair of night vision lenses.

We exited the ship and looked around. The planet was beautiful, once you got past the litter of debris from the mangled ships. Mostly covered by ocean and soft sand. Several palm trees scattered around, in places where there was actually grass. And it was quiet, except for a couple of squawking gizkas.

"Maybe once we determine if this planet is safe, we can release the gizkas here." Mission noted, breaking the silence we were in.

I nodded. "I think Revan would agree to that."

We settled back into the silence as we walked along the shore line, hoping to catch a glimpse of Revan. So far, nothing.

"Hey, Carth?" Mission asked, breaking the silence once again.

"Yeah?"

"You think we could get in some shooting practice in before the Star Forge? I wanna make sure I'm ready to back Revan up without any mistakes." She tossed a lukku over her shoulder.

"You're staying on the ship."

The young twi'lek stopped in her tracks, putting her hands on her hips. "What!"

I sighed. "Mission, we don't have time for this, we need to find Revan."

"Why won't you let me come with you? I can handle a blaster! I can help!" Her normally blue face was turned purple with anger. "And if you say the words 'it's too dangerous' I swear I'll put my blasters up your wrinkled old..."

I cut her off. "Mission – it  _ is _ too dangerous. You don't know what we're up against." I sighed. "Revan and I have already discussed this. We...we don't want to see you get hurt."

"But I can handle myself! I'm not a kid!"

I grabbed her shoulders gently. She tried to wiggle out but I tightened my grip. "Do you not realize how much we care about you? If something happened...it...it would be like me losing Dustil all over again." I paused. "Not to mention how Revan would feel. She would no doubt blame herself. We're the closest thing she has to a family, Mish. It would kill her." I shook her a little. "It would break her heart if something happened to you. Do you really want to put her through that?"

Mission's face softened. "No. I don't."

I released my hold on her and nodded. "So you understand why we won't let you accompany us?"

She nodded, shoulders slumping in resignation.

"Good."

We continued our walk, then suddenly I saw a figure sitting on top of a large bolder. I put my hands on my blasters as we moved closer. It was too dark to make out the features, but I could see the silhouette of a woman.

I breathed a sigh of relief. It was Revan.

Mission started to call out to her, but I placed my hand over her mouth, silencing her. She looked at me questionably.

I placed my finger against my lips. "Listen..."

Revan was crying. the sound of the waves almost drowning out her heartwrenching sobs.

I glanced over at Mission, who had tears in her eyes. She looked up at my, fingering her necklace. "Head back to the ship, Mission."

She didn't argue with me this time, only nodded and turned to leave, but stopped. "You haven't told her have you?"

I frowned. "Told her what?"

Mission looked at me skeptically. "That you love her."

I shook my head. "No...I'm...I'm just waiting for the right time."

She shrugged. "No time like the present."

I took a deep breath and made my over to Revan. She was wearing her white sleeping robes, her hair blowing gently in the breeze, the moon casting a soft glow over her beautiful face.

I sat next to her on the bolder, gathering her in my arms. "Revan..."

Revan positioned herself in my lap, curling around me. I could feel the shivers run through her body. "Shh, Beautiful, it's okay. I'm here."

She didn't speak. I tucked her head underneath my chin, and held her while she wept.

 


	25. Part Twenty-Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains sexual content. If you're not interested in such things, you can skip Carth's POV and continue to the next chapter.

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


_I was thirteen years old, give or take. I walked alone in the fields of Dantooine, taking in all of the familiar scenery and smells as if for the first time It was a lot different than Deralia, what I could remember of it. Deralia was mostly city, with very few sectors of farmland._

_That was something I loved immediately about Dantooine. It was simple. Undeveloped. Beautiful._

_The Jedi Masters would surely be angry if they knew I was venturing out into animal territory alone. Only the most experienced Padawans were allowed to venture outside of the enclave, unless accompanied by a Master, or at least, someone with a lightsaber. But I needed to be alone._

_I made my way to a large cavern that Malak and I had discovered while sneaking out one day. It was kinrath territory, but we had picked off most of the pack the first time. All that was left were a couple of broken eggs. Possibly some hatchlings._

_The cave was my favorite spot on Dantooine. To be alone, to meditate. And I found myself coming here on this same day, every year._

_My birthday._

_I frowned as I entered the cave. I was not alone. In fact, there were two other sentients. Who else knew of these caves, besides Malak and I?_

_I moved further into the darkness, and made my way to the opening where the kinrath had made their nests. Seated there, in my favorite spot, were Malak and...I frowned._

_"Master Kreia?"_

_The older woman turned, as did Malak. His eyes beamed happily as he looked at me. "Come in, Rev. Master Kreia was just telling me a story."_

_My frown deepened. "In a cave?"_

_"Have a seat, my young apprentice." Her voice was soft but stern._

_I wanted to ask what was going on, but did not dare to question my Master. I sat down next to Malak, who placed an arm around my shoulders..I stiffened, afraid of what Master Kreia would think. But she only smiled._

_"I will continue the story at another time. For now, I have something pressing that I must speak to the two of you about."_

_Malak and I exchanged curious glances._

_"Revan, my young apprentice, I am afraid that I will no longer be able to train you. My time as a Jedi Master is coming to an end. Very soon."_

_I frowned, confused. "Master Kreia, I'm afraid I don't understand." I paused. "Are you sick?"_

_To my surprise, the woman chuckled. "In a way...I guess you could say that."_

_I closed my eyes and felt through the Force, trying to sense whatever it was that affecting my Master._

_Kreia suddenly frowned, eyes narrowed into slits. "Don't."_

_I recoiled. I had never heard her speak to me, or anyone in such a harsh tone. She was always stern, but comforting at the same time. But now...there was something...dark about her._

_She cleared her throat. "As I was saying, I will be removed from the Jedi Council...and the Order." she paused, and took a deep breath. "I have had a vision. Of death, tragedy, war. This will not take place for quite some time, but it's coming. Most likely in the next ten years." she at the two of us. "And I will need the two of you to be the voice of The Order...and The Republic."_

_Malak withdrew his hand from my shoulder and clasped his hands in front of him. "I don't understand."_

_"You will, when the time comes."_

_I waved a hand between Malak and myself. "But why us?"_

_Kreia smiled. "Because the two of you have a special bond. You are both strong-physically and in the Force - and capable separately. But together, the two of you could be unstoppable. And I can feel, that once your true potential manifests themselves...it will be incredible._

_"There is something out there – I am uncertain of what, or who, but it will destroy the Republic...will destroy the Jedi. I sense...Manadalorian's are going be the Republic's biggest threat. But there is something else...something that is causing them to strike against them. You must put a stop to them."_

_Malak was summoned back to the enclave for training. Now I walked alone with Master Kreia. "Something troubles you, Revan."_

_When I didn't respond, Kreia stopped walking and gestured for me to stop as well. "You're thinking about your parents?"_

_I nodded._

_Kreia leaned against a nearby tree, crossing her arms over her chest. "What do you remember about your parents?"_

_Shrugging, I took a seat in front of her. "Not much. I was adopted, as far as I know my biological family is dead. But I remember that my mother died when I was four." I fingered the necklace around my neck. "Then my father gave me away to the Order when I turned five. My father and I were not...exactly close."_

_The older woman cocked her chin up slightly. "He mistreated you?"_

_I nodded. "I forgive him. But I can't forget."_

_A silence settled between the two of us._

_Kreia looked at the ground, then back up to me. "What if I told you that your real mother still lived?"_

_I looked at her in complete astonishment. "You know who my mother is? Where is she? You must tell me!"_

_Kreia only smiled. "She's closer than you think..."_

_Suddenly, the sounds of pounding feet could be heard coming up over the hills. I stood, frowning._

_Jedi Master Vrook, Vandar, Zhar, and Doorak appeared in front of us, lightsabers drawn._

_"Revan, child, please come with me." Master Zhar's normally pink face was flushed. He reached over and placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, pulling me away from Kreia._

_"But..."_

_The rest of the Council turned towards Master Kreia._

_"You are facing the judgment of the Jedi Council."_

_"You have fallen to the dark side."_

_"You have been exiled from the Jedi Order."_

  
  


* * *

 

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


I listened as Revan told me of the visions she had after we crashed. I didn't know what to say to her. I cleared my throat. "Was there anything else?"

She shook her head and clutched my jacket in her fingers. "No. I don't know where this vision came from, it was completely out of the blue." she sighed and pulled away from me, running a shaky hand through her mass of curls. "Maybe...maybe Jolee will know something about my mother."

I nodded, resting my arms on my knees and looked out to the ocean. I tried to think of how to word what I was going to say to her without hurting her. "I...I know this is important to you, Beautiful. But I...I think we should wait until this is all over and done with. And then, I swear to you, will get this all figured out."

Revan nodded. "I know. Priorities first." she gave me a weak smile. "Don't worry. I'm not going to let this get in the way of destroying Malak and saving Bastila." she sighed. "I just wished that vision showed me _why_ we fell. But it didn't go any further than Kreia excepting the Mandalorian War."

I reached over and gave her knee a light squeeze. "Maybe in time it'll come to you."

She smiled faintly. "Maybe." she leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Thanks for being so cool."

I chuckled. "Cool, huh?"

Revan nudged me with her elbow. "Cool for an old geezer."

I feigned hurt. "You need to stop listening to Mission." I hopped down from the bolder and offered my hand to her to help her down. "Come on, Gorgeous. We have a long day tomorrow, you need your rest."

She nodded and took my hand as I helped her down. She smiled at me graciously. The moonlight seemed to make her face glow. Revan seemed even more beautiful. I grinned.

"On second thought," I said, wrapping my arms around her waist, pulling her against me. "this is the first time we've been _completely_ alone since Taris..." I leaned down and pressed my lips against her, pushing her back against the bolder. I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her harder.

I slowly pushed the outer layer of her robe off her shoulders, running my fingers gently along the newly exposed skin. I felt her shudder under my touch.

I slowly lifted the the hem of her night robe over her head, and tossed it to the side. My eyes gazed over the perfection that was Revan. She was absolutely beautiful.

Revan responded by wrapped her arms around my waist as I dragged her onto her knees down into the sand. She slowly unfastened my jacket, sliding it off my shoulders.

I laid the jacket down onto the sand to make her more comfortable. She smiled as I brushed the hair off of her forehead as I lowered her onto the jacket. The sand was incredibly itchy on my skin, but I paid no attention to it. All that mattered, in that moment, was her.

My hands slid down her slender form, my lips following their path. I kissed her forehead, nipped at her lower lip, nuzzled her neck. Kissed my way down over her torso. I glanced up at her through heavy lidded eyes.

Her eyes were closed, a soft smile on her lips. She moaned softly as my hand rested on the swell of her breast, kissing the soft curves. "Carth..."

I said nothing, sliding my hands down to remove her pajama pants. First one leg, then the other. Soon the remainders of our clothing were lying in a heap next to us.

Revan ran her fingers through my hair. A seductive smile suddenly spread across her lips. Her hand slipped down to my abdomen, then lower. She seemed to somehow intensify the feeling with the Force.

After a few moments, breath hissed through my teeth, and I grabbed her wrists, bringing them above her head. "You can't do that to me and get away with it, Gorgeous."

Her grin widened. "And what will my punishment be?" she asked, torn between laughter and anticipation.

I kissed her eagerly as my hands traveled down to her inner thighs. "I’ll think of something."

Revan whimpered as my fingers explored her body. Her back arched off of my jacket, as if asking for more. I gave it to her. I leaned my head down and took one of her nipples into my mouth, gently sucking and nipping at her.

Her moans were almost too much for me to handle. The fact that I could cause the former Dark Lord of the Sith to make those needy little sounds in the back of her throat, all because of me, almost made me chuckle. There was something exciting about that.

I withdrew my fingers from her, smiling at her groaned protest, and kissed her, pouring all of my hunger for her, the passion...the love that I had for her, all into it, as I positioned myself between her thighs.

Revan broke the kiss, struggling for breath. "Dammit, Carth, stop torturing me."

I smiled and kissed her again, gently this time, as I gripped her hips and slowly entered her. I moaned as our bodies met, her knees squeezing my hips, the heat encircling us.

I braced my arms on either side of her. Leaning down, I kissed her neck, gently nipping at it as I began to move.

Revan's legs wrapped tighter around me. Her eyes squeezed shut. "Look at me, Revan."

She slowed opened her eyes as our hips met, setting a punishing pace. Her beautiful eyes were dark and glazed over with passion. Revan wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me down into a kiss that would have curled my toes if I had been standing.

I could feel her body begin to writhe underneath me. "Rev..." I could feel her muscles tense.

Wave, after wave of pleasure shot through our bodies. Giving one final thrust, I bent down and kissed her again, her cries muffled against my lips. I knew I was too big, too heavy for her, but I couldn't move. I didn't want to move.

Revan didn't want me to move either. She tried to tighten her hold on me, but I was crushing her small body. Reluctantly, I rolled over and gathered her against me, her head laying on the crook of my arm.

Revan was having a hard time keeping her eyes open. I assumed I was going to have to carry her back to the ship. If my legs could handle it. "Carth..."

"Mmhm?"

Revan hesitated for a moment before she brought her hand up and touched my cheek. "Thank you."

I chuckled and kissed her temple. “Come on, let’s get back to the ship before they send out the search party.”


	26. Part Twenty-Six

_-Revan-_

  


We started out early the next morning. Canderous was already waiting for Carth and I outside on the beach as I gathered some medpacks, our datapads, stims, and several bottles of water and shoved them in my into my pack, hoisting it up on my shoulder. I groaned. "So much for traveling light, eh?"

Carth chuckled and took the pack from me. "Lemme get that for ya, Gorgeous."

I grinned and kissed him on the cheek. "And whoever says chivalry is dead."

We started to head out when Mission suddenly appeared in the cargo hold doorway. "Can I come?"

Carth and I exchanged glances. "I think it would be better if you stayed here, Mish."

The young twi'lek's face fell. "Oh...okay."

I walked over to her as she turned to leave and put my hands on her shoulders. "Mission, listen to me. When all of this mess is over, I swear, we'll have a day where it's just me and you, okay? Nothing but fun and mischief." I smiled reassuringly at her. "Whaddya say?"

Mission smiled faintly. "Promise?"

I crossed an 'x' over my heart. "Promise. Jedi's honor."

She smiled. "Just you and me? Not even the old geezer over there?"

Carth frowned, but the corner's of his mouth betrayed the smile he was trying so hard not to let escape. "Hey! I can hear you, ya know."

I laughed and winked at him. "Just the two of us. But for now, why don't you go pick on Jolee for a bit. That's always fun."

The youngster giggled and ran off, in search of the old Jedi.

Carth placed his unoccupied arm around my shoulders. "Jolee's going to kill you for that, you know."

I grinned. "I know."

We wandered outside to find Canderous talking to a couple of frightened Duros, with several strange looking aliens around his feet.

"Where did they come from?" I asked Carth as we walked over to the Mandalorian.

"Beats me. Must have been on one of the ships that crashed down here."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for stating the obvious, flyboy." I called over to Canderous. "Ordo, what's going on?"

Canderous turned to us. "I don't know. I don't speak alien. But these slug...things came out of nowhere when these guys showed up." he grinned. "You two missed a nice little fight."

I shook my head and turned towards the Duros, speaking to them in their native tongue. They informed me of that they were unfamiliar of these particular aliens that had been chasing them, and that they had been stranded here on the planet for several days. And that there had also been sightings on Mandalorians near the Temple Summit.

I glanced up at Canderous, who just shrugged and frowned.

[There is some food on our ship. I offer you food and shelter,] I said.

The Duros thanked me graciously, but refused. I made them take some food, however. Just in case.

After leaving the Duros, we walked up a large hill and were almost immediately attacked by another group of the strange looking aliens while looking for the scrap parts we needed to fix the hyperdrive.

"Don't suppose a civil conversation would persuade you to lower your weapons?" I asked, fingering the hilt on my lightsaber.

The aliens let out a fierce battle cry and picked up their speed.

I sighed as I drew my weapon. "No? Didn't think so."

 _Wooden staffs, some with daggers attached to the ends. Noted._ I dropped into a defensive stance. Carth and Canderous followed suit.

I rushed forward, catching the staff of one of the strange looking aliens with the blade of my lightsaber. Quickly, I grabbed his wrists, catching him off guard enough to drop the weapon, and pulled him forward. I sent my elbow into his nose, causing him to scream in pain, holding the broken nose.

I winced as my lightsaber impaled into the side of the bastard and he dropped to the ground, dead.

The guys were holding their own, firing at and dodging their opponents. I frowned as one of the aliens tried to blind side Carth, coming up from behind, staff aimed towards his heart.

I rushed forward and sliced the weapon, and it's owner, in two. Carth turned towards me with a surprised glance and watched as the sentient fell the ground. "What the-"

I grinned. "Gotta stay on your toes, Onasi."

The next group we encountered wasn't nearly as hostile. They insisted on taking us to _The One_. And we learned that their race was was called Rakatan.

[The One has seen magic like yours before. He believes that you are like the one who came to us before. He wants a meeting with you.]

"The One? Wow, arrogant little shit isn't he?" I cracked as entered the Rakatan enclave, trying to lighten the mood. The men only chuckled half heartedly.

I spoke with _The One_ for nearly an hour. Surprisingly, or rather _not_ surprisingly, Malak and I had been to this planet before in our quest for the Star Forge. Apparently, promising to help them with their problems with the Rakatan Elders. I tried to ignore the strange looks that Carth and Canderous were giving me.

 _Just what I need,_ I thought miserably, _more people that I betrayed._

But there was something about this that I didn't like. That's when _The One_ informed me that he wanted us to kill the Elders, which I had apparently I had promised to do the last time I was here. I tried to explain to them about my memory loss, but the Rakatan was skeptical.

Finally, I convinced him that I wasn't the same person who they had met several years ago. But I convinced him that I would help him out. He allowed us to explore the rest of the enclave, and we found the remaining parts we needed to fix our ship.

We headed out in the direction of the Elder Rakatan Enclave. I had no intentions of killing them, like I had told _The One._ I just wanted to speak with them.

We passed by the Rakatan Temple, after dealing with a couple of rancors that charged at us as soon as we entered the Temple Summit. The entrance to the temple was blocked off by a force field. "Dammit," I groaned.

The Mandalorians had been using stealth generators, but Canderous and I sensed them right away.

The battle had been a long one. Grenades were thrown, blood was shed. As the last warrior went down, Canderous let out an exasperated sigh. "What has become of my people? They have no honor."

I gave him a sympathetic look. "Come on. Let's keep moving."

The walking took up most of the day. The sun was already beginning to set beyond the horizon when we were stopped by yet more rancors.

"Okay," Carth stated irritably, crouching down next to me, behind some fallen ship debris "Who failed to tell me that this was a rancor planet?"

I shrugged. "How was I supposed to know?"

He gave me that half-smile that made me want to swoon and punch his face in all at the same time. "You're a Jedi, Beautiful. You're supposed to sense these things."

Groaning, I smacked the heel of my hand onto my forehead dramatically. "Silly me. I forgot to set my Jedi homing signal to 'rancor stink' before we left the Hawk." I smiled sweetly at him.

Canderous just snorted. "Could we please put the lover's spat off for a little while so we can come up with a plan?"

I shook my head as Carth sent a wink in my direction.

I thought for a moment as I studied the two rancors, who were currently too busy fighting over a chunk of an animal corpse to notice our presence. "We could use our stealth field generators to sneak past them..."

"I've got a better idea." Canderous stated proudly as he stood.

Before Carth and I could ask, Canderous lifted his repeater rifle and fired.

Both rancors forgot their lunch and roared angrily, charging at Canderous.

"Dammit, you stupid Mandalorian!" I cried, jumping from my hiding spot. I ignited my double-bladed lightsaber in mid-air.

Carth began firing at one of the rancors along with Canderous, as I advanced on the second.

I jumped back as it sent its huge claw, nearly colliding with my mid-section. Using the Force, I jumped back far enough to send my saber flying towards it's massive head. The monster cried out in pain as it made contact, splitting open its right eye.

It staggered back as I called the weapon back to me, and caught it effortlessly. I didn't wait for it to recover. I rushed towards it and impaled the rancor in the gut. It went down with a violent, sickening thud that shook the ground.

The first rancor was closing in on Carth and Canderous. I yanked my weapon from the thick skin of the dead monster and rushed to their aide.

The blaster shots the guys were firing had no effect on the monster. The rancor seemed oblivious to them. I heard Carth curse as he stopped firing to reload. I kept a cautious eye on him.

Using the Force, I jumped onto the back of the large beast, plunging the blade of the lightsaber deep into it's neck.

The rancor roared angrily, bringing it's arm behind it's head and yanking me from its back.

Pain suddenly screamed throughout my entire body. Then all I saw was darkness…

 

* * *

 

_-Meanwhile-_

  


Mission stomped along the cargo hold, clenching fists in frustration. _Why couldn't I go with them? I can understand not letting me on the Star Forge, but why not here?_

"Child, please sit your blue butt down before I kick it." Jolee mumbled. "And if it comes down to that, you won't be able to sit for a week."

Juhani chuckled, but did not look up from her datapad.

Mission scowled at him. "But it's so unfair, Jolee. They don't think I can do anything." Slouching her shoulders, she sighed. "Am I really so useless?"

Zaalbar huffed and shook his head.

Jolee smiled sympathetically. "You're _not_ useless, lass. How could you even possibly think that? You've been an important asset to this mission." he paused. "Not to mention what a great friend you've been to Revan." he placed a reassuring hand on the young Twi'lek's shoulder. "She and Carth would be lost without you."

"Then they shouldn't push me away!" she cried, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Mission...they're trying to protect you. I know this is a new concept for you, seeing as how your core-slime of a brother ditched you, but you have to trust them. They don't want to see you get hurt."

Mission sighed. "I know. I guess...I guess I'm just bored."

The old man tapped his chin, a smile spreading over his lips. "Well, if you want, I have a little surprise for Revan...if you want to help me out."

She clapped her hands excitedly. "Oh? What is it?"

Jolee chuckled and placed his arm around her shoulders, leading her to the work bench.

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  


My heart dropped to my stomach and my breath caught in my chest as I watched the dying rancor sweep it's final blow across Revan's belly. She cried out in pain and the front of her robes were immediately stained with blood. She and the rancor hit the ground at the same time, the animal almost landing completely on top of her.

"Revan!" I rushed to her side, cradling her head in my hands, careful not to hurt her already battered body. She was unconscious.

"Ordo, get a medpack over here, now!" I called over to him as I gently unfastened the fabric that was clinging to her body from all of the blood. I peeled it away, carefully, so not to tear anymore skin. The gashes underneath made my stomach churn.

Canderous searched through the pack and tossed the medpack at me. I carefully injected it to her side. Her body convulsed as the kolto worked through her.

Time seemed to stop as we waited for the kolto to take effect. I looked down at her and notice her eyes twitch underneath her eyelids. The gashes on her tummy started to mend themselves together. I figured she was using the Force to help the healing of the kolto, but I applied bandages over the wounds to be safe.

Canderous loomed over her, when suddenly the heel of her boot came in contact with his chest. Revan's eyes popped open and were filled with anger. She jumped up and charged at him, but I caught her hips before she reached him.

Revan snarled at the Mandalorian, trying to wiggle free of my grasp, thrashing her arms and legs about fiercely. "You stupid nerf-herder! You could have gotten yourself and Carth killed!"

"Uh...Beautiful?" I started, but stopped myself. Pointing out that she had been the one on the ground, bleeding and scarred only just moments before, would not have been the brightest move. "You, uh, might want to save this lecture for when you're not so, um...exposed."

Revan's face flushed with embarrassment and anger.

Canderous grinned. "Yeah. What size are you, a -"

I cut him off. "Ordo, I swear, if you finish that sentence, I'm going to let go of her and let her beat the hell out you. She just took down two rancors, so I can only imagine what she could do to you." I paused and lowered my voice. "Then _I'm_ going to beat you to a bloody pulp if you talk to her like that again."

Revan stuck her tongue out at him and turned in my arms to face my chest and began to re-fasten her bloody robes.

We finally reached the Elder's settlement. I heard Revan breath a sigh of relief when she realized it was right next to the ocean.

"Probably not the best of ideas to confront the Elder Rakatan's while covered in blood." she mumbled irritably, wrinkling her nose at her blood soaked robes. "I'm gonna wash up."

I watched her as she bathed, occasionally shooting Canderous warning glances to make sure he kept his eyes elsewhere. Thankfully, the Mandalorian seemed entertained by taking apart his rifle and putting it back together.

My eyes wandered back over to her. I watched as she ducked her head underneath the water, only to come right back up seconds later, throwing her head back, then to wring the water out of her thick hair.

My mouth went dry. Revan was tempting fully clothed, but seeing her in her purest form...was intoxicating. But I had to admit, that I felt a little dirty watching her. But we were on a strange planet. I wasn't about to take my eyes off of her.

It was strictly about protection. Honest…

Revan glanced over at me and smiled, blushing faintly at the fact that I was watching her.

"Alright, Beautiful. Enough teasing. We need to get goin'." I walked over to her and shielded her from Canderous' view with my jacket. Yeah, so I'm a little possessive when it comes to women. Especially when they are as beautiful as Revan was, and Morgana had been.

A ping of old pain and sadness hit me. And guilt. _She would want you to be happy, Onasi._ I tried to tell myself. _But would she want me to be happy with the woman who was indirectly responsible for her death?_

Stop it. That was a completely different person.

I must have been broadcasting my thoughts on my face, because Revan, now completely dressed, placed a hand on my arm. "You okay?"

I looked into her eyes, those caring, enchanting eyes of her as she looked up at me curiously. "I'm fine, Gorgeous." I kissed her gently. "Let's get going."

Another long track back to _The One's_ enclave. The Elders had offered to help us get into the Temple, but only if we rescued one of their members that their rivals had captured.

Needless to say, _The One_ and his followers were not happy with us. His tribe began attacking us immediately, sending out their beasts, and everyone inside and outside of the enclave.

We made our way into the throne room, where _The One_ was waiting for us.

He eyed Revan accusingly. [You made a big mistake refusing us, Revan. You defied us before, and then now. It will not happen again.]

Revan spoke to him in his language [There is no need for bloodshed. We can resolve this without death.]

 _The One_ made an expression similar to a sneer. The time for negotiations has past.

The Rakatan raised his hand, signaling to his followers to release the caged rancors. as Revan circled him with a predator eye. She ignited her lightsaber just as the holding cages opened.

Revan nodded quickly at us in a silent agreement that she would concentrate on _The One_ , while Canderous and I took on the rancors and his followers.

Canderous and I began firing as the Rakatan's advanced towards Revan, who was still circling with their leader.

One of the rancors grabbed Canderous by the collar of his armor and roared loudly in his face. The Mandalorian barely flinched before bringing the hilt of his repeater into the eye of the beast. It cried out and released him, sending him flying backwards into a group of Rakatans.

I sent a rapid shot into rancor while it was still trying to recover from Canderous' blow. It went down, crushing several more of the aliens under its massive bulk.

I risked a quick glance back over at Revan, who was now blade-to-blade with _The One._ She sent the heel of her boot up to collide with the side of it's bulbous head. He staggered backwards, gripping the sides of his head. Revan threw out her leg again, this time connected with his arm, sending his sword flying out of his hand.

I glanced around the large room, the floor littered with corpses of the Rakatans, as well as the rancors. The brawl had been so fast, I couldn't remember taking them all down.

Canderous walked over and stood next to me as we both aimed our weapons at _The One._ He was the last one standing.

Revan spoke, but kept her eyes plastered on _The One._ "Carth, please release the prisoner."

I nodded and headed over to the lever that the Rakatan leader had pulled to release the rancors. The cage opened and the Elder Rakatan limped out.

[I...I thank you for rescuing me. I shall tell the others of this great deed.]

I didn't understand their tongue as Revan did. So I nodded and told him to be careful and we would be along shortly.

I heard the _snap-hiss_ of Revan's lightsaber and a barely audible _thud._ I turned back around to see the alien's headless body slither to the floor. I winced.

Revan sighed as she attached her lightsaber back onto her belt, and wiped the blood that had splattered onto her face off with the sleeve of her robe. "So much for my clean clothes."

Night had completely fallen as we made it back to the Elder's settlement. I listened as Revan relayed the events to them.

The Elders exchanged impressed glances at each other. They nodded and spoke to Revan a few more moments before leaving the room. We followed Revan outside of the enclave.

She turned back to us. "You two should probably head back to the Hawk. It's getting late and you guys need your rest."

I frowned. "What about you?"

Revan shrugged and pulled her hair back out of her face, tightening it was a band. "The Elders have agreed to allow me into the temple. I'm going to stay here and make preparations for tomorrow.."

I nodded. "Then we will stay here with you." Canderous nodded in agreement.

"No."

I arched an eyebrow. "No?"

"No. Go back to the Hawk. I'll meet you back there tomorrow."

Confused, I crossed my arms over my chest. "They agreed to let you into the temple, yet you're sending us back to the ship, without you?"

"Yes."

"I don't understand."

Revan sighed. "They've allowed me entrance to the temple, but I have to do it alone."

The thought was so ridiculous, that I had to laugh. "You have got to be joking."

Her face was enough to tell me that she wasn't joking at all. "No, I'm not."

"Are you insane? After what happened to you the last time I let you go into the unknown by yourself? Does Korriban ring any bells, Revan? I'm not going for it this time." I couldn't keep the anger out of my voice. "That's just stupid."

Revan didn't flinch at my tone. "There's no other way, Carth. Please, just for once, listen to me. They won't lower the shields unless I'm alone." she paused and looked at the ground. "Because of Malak and I."

I gripped her shoulders, panic taking over my entire body. "This is completely different, Gorgeous and you know it! Malak himself could be inside that temple and I cannot, _will_ not let you take this on by yourself."

Revan shrugged me off and turned her back to me, only to turn again and kiss me on the cheek. I could see the worry and pain in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Carth."

She turned to leave again, but I caught a hold of her wrist, pulling her against me. "Revan...you can't do this!" Even as I said the words, I knew I had lost.

But before she could respond, I crushed my mouth down on hers, enveloping her in my arms, pulling her against me. I could feel her trembling as she kissed me back.

Moments later, she gently, but firmly, pushed me away. Tears formed in her eyes. "I love you, Carth Onasi." She turned on her heels and raced back into the settlement.

I stood there, frozen, as I watched her run back into the enclave. Her voice echoed in my ears. _I love you, Carth Onasi._

She loves me, and I’m forced to sit back while she fights through the temple alone.

I turned to Canderous, who had remained silent during the entire episode. "Did she just say..."

Canderous lifted an eyebrow. "That she loves you? Yeah, that's what I heard. Why, though, I don't know.”

I ignored the jab and we began to make the long walk back to the ship.

She loves me.

She _loves_ me.

Dammit, that woman was absolutely frustrating. She revealed that she loved me only hours before she could possibly lose her life.

I had cared about her for so long. But now, as I walked silently back into the Hawk, ignoring the curious glances and the calls from the rest of the crew members, then it hit me, harder than the roughest punch to the gut.

I was in love with Revan. I was completely, one hundred percent, head over heels in love with her.

And I could lose her within the next twenty-four hours.

I had never before felt so happy and so helpless, and alone.

 


	27. Part Twenty-Seven

_-Carth-_

  
  


"Where's Revan?" Jolee asked as we entered the Ebon Hawk. Everyone was crowded around the cargo hold, anxiously awaiting the answer to the Jedi's question.

"A rancor ate her." Canderous snapped, setting his rifle on a rack he had built out of some scrap metal he had found in the storage hold.

I scowled at him as I perched myself on top of the work bench, but didn't have the strength left to speak, let alone punch him for it. But I wanted to.

The old Jedi shot him an annoyed glance. Canderous rolled his eyes then began to tell everyone about everything we had endured this afternoon. "There's a force shield around the temple entrance. Revan can't get in without their help, so she's stayin' at the Rakatan Elder's enclave."

Jolee frowned, leaning against the wall paneling of the ship, and looked over at me. "So why are you here, and not with her?"

I leaned forward, propping my elbows on my knees, and buried my face in my hands. "She said they won't allow anyone to enter the temple with her."

"So she's in there alone?" Juhani asked, sneaking a glance over at Jolee.

"I find it hard to believe that you of all people Carth, would allow her to go in there alone."

I glared at Jolee. "I didn't really have choice in the matter, old man. They said they wouldn't lower the damn shields unless she was alone. I argued, sure, but you know how stubborn that woman is." My voice rose as I spoke, all of the frustration and worry creeping in. I felt like pulling my hair out. I closed my eyes and sighed. "I shouldn't have left her."

I felt a tiny hand rest on my shoulder. I looked up to see Mission now standing in front of me. She gave my shoulder a squeeze. "She'll be okay, Carth."

I shook my head, but didn't say anything. I suddenly felt exhausted. Hopping down from the workbench, I nodded goodnight to everyone and headed to Revan’s quarters. _Our_ quarters.

I half expected her to be in there, laying on the bed, her datapad in her hands. Or sitting in the middle of the floor, legs crossed, deep in meditation. She would always drop whatever it was she was doing when I came in. She would smile, toss her datapad to the side, or whatever, and throw her arms around me.

The room was empty, however, as I knew it would be. I removed my jacket and tossed it over the chair sitting in the corner of the room. My boots made a loud clanking noise on the metal floor as I made my way over to the bed, throwing myself on top of it. It was far too quiet and cold without her here.

I kicked off my boots and tried to get comfortable. Frowning, I reached beneath me and but grinned when I pulled out the bantha doll I had won for Revan back on Manaan. The thing was so ugly, it was cute.

Revan had slept with the thing for so long, it actually smelled like her. A mixture of her shampoo and the sweet smell of her favorite perfume. I sat the doll down beside me and settled my head back against the pillow. "Ow,"

 _How the hell does she sleep with all of this junk on the bed?_ I thought as I reached underneath the pillow to reveal her datapad. _I thought she took this with her._

Looking more closely at it, I realized it was her personal datapad. Curious, I began to scan through it, feeling only a little guilty. A lot of the entries were poetry or songs, some were just random thoughts or what she had done that day. I grinned when I read that most of them were about me.

I was about to shut the datapad off, feeling guilty about going through her personal belongings, but then one date suddenly caught my eye.

The night after the Leviathan.

I feel like my world's crashing down around me. Everything that I lived for, stood for, was a total lie. I don't know who the hell I am.

Things had been going so well before...before Malak. How the hell could I have been that...that murderer Revan. I want to believe that this is just some horrible nightmare. That I'm going to wake up in the morning, screaming, crying. But at least it would have only been a dream. The urge to pinch myself is constant, but what's the point? And the reality of it all is that, despite how much I want this all to end, I'm wide awake in my own nightmare.

Everyone had been so supportive, so understanding that they’ve had a monster living amongst them on the ship, right under their noses. That's exactly what I am; a monster. They all said that they would stick with me, that I was no longer that person. Everyone that is...except Carth.

The look on Carth's face tore me apart. I thought that the realization of my identity had been an excruciating, it didn't hold anything to what I felt when I looked at Carth. He's so angry, so hurt, and with good reason. I had hoped that something amazing was happening between us, even if Jedi were forbidden to love.

But how can someone love the person who was responsible for turning their world upside down? How could he love me, when I was the reason he had lost everything? I'm tempted to allow him to continue with his revenge against Saul, on me. On Taris, he had told me that he wanted nothing more than to put a blaster to Revan's head.

I would gladly give that option to him, if I knew that it would take away his pain, his sorrow. I would give my life for him if I thought it would give him his wife and son back.

How could he love a monster, a murderer? I have nothing to offer him. Carth has so much to give to someone, anyone. Except me. I don't deserve the things he could give me. I deserve nothing.

I powered down the datapad and sat it on the nightstand next to the bed. I felt awful. Yeah, we had basically worked past all of that stuff now, but I couldn't take back those harsh words I had said to her. Couldn't take back the looks I gave her, that had obviously cut through her, worse than the dagger she had used on herself.

I wondered if she still had any doubts about how I felt about her. I hadn't yet verbally told her that I loved her, but she had to know...right?

Revan was wrong: she had so much more to offer to me than she led herself to believe. She had changed me, from a man hell-bent on revenge, who had no future.

She...she’d taught me how to love again.

I reached into one of the many pockets on my pants. I examined the small ring that was hanging from a chain. It had been Morgana's engagement ring, the only thing I really had left of her.

I didn't really like the idea of giving Revan a ring that had belonged to another woman. But I didn't have anything else. I could wait until we got back to Coruscant, but _something_ had made me hold onto this over the years.

I had told Revan that I had had a feeling that she would be tested. For some reason, I felt that it would happen tomorrow. Call it my paranoia if you want. But something definitely wasn't right…

And if she passed this test, I would have something to congratulate her with. And if I had things my way...I would not be sleeping alone ever again.

 

* * *

 

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


The next morning, I followed the Rakatan Elders to the Temple. I was exhausted, my joints were sore from yesterday, and I hadn't been able to sleep. Not only had the so-called 'beds' in the enclave had been very uncomfortable, but I couldn't even get my mind clear enough to mediate. I kept thinking about Carth.

I wanted to kick myself for making him leave the enclave. Then blurting out that I loved him...what the hell was I thinking?

The fact that I blurted it out didn't make make it any less true. I did love him, more than anything. But what did I have to offer him?

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the Elder's begin chanting. I had a feeling that this was going to take a very, _very_ long time.

I could feel the dark energy radiating from the stone Temple. What awaited for me inside, I wasn't sure. But I knew the place was crawling with Dark Jedi. Perhaps Malak himself. Although I couldn't sense my old apprentice, I knew that he could hide himself from me within the Force. Hiding...waiting...watching my every move. Watching for one wrong move, one mistake, waiting for his opportunity to strike me down.

I began pacing back and forth, listening to the surprisingly soothing sound of the Rakatan Elder's chant.

Finally, I was able to completely clear my mind. I sat down several yards away from the Elders and began to meditate.

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


I overheard Jolee and Juhani talking in the common room as I headed out of my quarters. Pausing at the door, I stopped to listen.

"You felt it too, didn't you Jolee?" Juhani asked, leaning against the workbench.

"Indeed I did, lass." the old man sighed. "Think we'd better head up to that temple. After what we just saw, I don't think it would be very wise to let her go in there alone."

Juhani nodded agreeably. "Yes. We should hurry. She may already be inside."

They started to leave, but I rushed forward and grabbed Jolee by the arm. "Jolee...wait."

The old Jedi raised his bushy eyebrows. "What is it, son?"

I took a deep breath. "If..." I sighed. "If something goes wrong, promise me you won't hurt her."

Jolee smiled. "She'll be fine, lad."

He turned to leave, but I caught him again. "Carth, we need to go..."

"Just, just one more thing." I let go of him and raked my hand through my hair. "If something happens does happen, just remind her, that...that she's thinking for two now."

Jolee looked at me sympathetically, then nodded. "I'll tell her."

 

* * *

 

 

_-Revan-_

The meditating made the time go by a lot faster. I was still in my trance when I heard the Elder's stop chanting, and I could feel the life energy of a couple of sentient beings heading towards us.

Frowning, I stood and grabbed my lightsaber from my belt. _It could have been some of the remainders of The One's followers. Perhaps another ship had fallen and any survivors were searching for refuge. Maybe it was Malak and his new apprentice. Or it could be…_

I blinked. _Jolee and Juhani?_

I breathed in a sigh of relief as my two Jedi friends came into view and made their way over to me. I clipped my lightsaber back into place. "What are you guys doing here?"

"You can't go in there alone, lass." Jolee said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Juhani reached for my hand. "We have had...a premonition. The Force has given us a vision. There is great danger inside that temple. We cannot let you face that alone."

Jolee nodded. "You could be walking into a trap. Malak himself may be waiting for you inside. Even if he isn't, that place will be crawling with Dark Jedi. You'll need all the help you can get, my dear."

A Rakatan guide stormed over to where we stood. [No other can go with you into the temple. You must enter alone. It is the way of the ancient ritual.]

I bit my lip and turned back to my companions. "You guys, I appreciate the offer, but the Rakata won't let you in." I sighed. "I'm sorry."

Jolee frowned, and placed his hands firmly on my shoulders. Juhani gave my hand a light squeeze. "Your destiny – maybe the fate of the entire galaxy – could be forever changed inside that temple. I'm not about to let you face that challenge alone. Not after my premonition. There's a _reason_ I had that vision."

The Cathar nodded. "Jolee speaks for the both of us. You must enter the temple, but we must go with you."

I grinned and turned back to the guide. "I can't do this alone."

[No! You must enter alone! I will not lower the shields!]

Jolee harrumphed. "I don't know what he said, but it sounds like you're guide's being stubborn. We don't have time for this." he paused. "The Republic fleet is on it's way and we're stuck on this planet until we lower that disruptor field. So you just tell that guide of yours to do whatever he has to do to get us all inside that temple."

I nodded, throwing the Force into my argument. "I cannot destroy the Star Forge alone. I will need the assistance of my friends here."

Finally, I convinced them to continue with the ritual. Jolee sighed and cocked his head at me. "Why do I get the feeling this is going to take a _very_ long time?"

As we suspected, the place was swarming with Dark Jedi and assault droids. The hallways were dimly lit and it was hard for us to see where we were going.

The dark side energy within the temple incredible. Calling out to us, tempting us. But we stood our ground as we made our way through the many rooms.

I sighed as we brought another fallen Jedi to the ground, after yet another failed attempt by me to redeem them.

"Forever the eternal optimist, aren't cha lass?" Jolee grinned.

I shrugged and smiled sadly at him. "If the former Dark Lord of the Sith can be given a second chance, everyone should."

The old man chuckled. "Indeed, my dear."

We continued onward in silence. I kept my lightsaber ignited to give us light as we made our way through the dark temple, fighting and looting the bodies when we had to.

But when we came to the next room, I frowned and stopped moving. There were no enemies in this particular room, but it screamed in pain.

In the middle of the room, was a large slab of stone formed into a makeshift table. I closed my eyes and ran my hand along it's smooth. As soon as I made contact with the cold stone, I winced as the sheer pain shot through me.

"Are you alright, Revan? You're awfully pale." Juhani commented, placing a hand on my arm.

"Bastila..." I managed to choke out, fighting back tears at the memory of the torture. "This...this is where Malak was torturing her." I turned to them, pain reflecting in my eyes and voice. "Can you not feel it? He...he almost killed her."

Jolee gently placed his arm around my shoulders and led me away from the table, and out of the room. "Come, lass. We still have to shut that disruptor field down before we can rescue the spoiled brat."

A few minutes later, we found ourselves in the lower levels of the temple, where we found a rusted old computer console. I was slightly surprised, although I shouldn't have been, that it recognized me.

It allowed me to download information of the ancient Rakata who had built the Star Forge, into my datapad. From here, I also unlocked a massive door to the upper levels, where I would be able to turn off the disruptor field.

Jolee grumbled as we made our way once again to the upper level. "They couldn't have put elevators in here. No, that would have been too easy. Everyone just forget that old men can wander in here..."

Juhani and I exchanged smirks. The old Jedi was still mumbling as we reached the large door. Inside, were two assault droids that began firing at us as soon as the door slid open.

I dodged the oncoming fire with my saber as Jolee and Juhani rushed forward, using the Force to send bolts of electricity into the droids.

The wires on the droids popped, hissed, and smoked as they disabled. Our lightsabers making annoying screeching sounds as they raked across the metal of the mechanical bodies.

When the droids were nothing but scrap metal on the floor, we ventured on, heading up a long ramp. Jolee started to complain again about aching muscles.

The ramp leaded outside, to the peak of the temple. I raised a hand to silence Jolee. "Shh, someone's out there."

My companions peered over my shoulder as my eyes began to adjust to the harshness of the changing light, trying to adjust on the dark figure posed underneath a large archway. "Bastila!"

The three of us rushed towards her. "Bastila!" I cried, relief flooding over me. "You're alright!"

"Revan." A sly, almost sadistic smile played over the younger woman's lips. "I knew you're come for me. Malak thought you might be afraid to enter the temple again. But he doesn't know you like I do. Not anymore."

"Quickly, Bastila – come with us.." Juhani pleaded. "We must escape before Malak arrives."

Bastila calmly stepped out from beneath the shadow of the arch. "Escape? You don't understand. I've sworn allegiance to the Dark Lord himself: I am no longer a pawn of the Jedi Council."

Bastila's once soft, pretty face was now set in a hard grimace. Her once golden skin had paled to an almost sickening white. Her warm, inner light was gone, replaced with anger, pain. Hatred.

And in her hand, where she once carried her double-bladed yellow lightsaber, to establish her position as a Jedi sentinel, was replaced with a deadly but beautiful crimson red one, almost identical to the one I had as Darth Revan.


	28. Part Twenty-Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typical disclaimer: most of Bastila's dialog is owned by LucasArts and BioWare, wish I could take credit for that, but alas, I cannot.

_-Revan-_

 

I stared at Bastila, guilt and pain settling inside me. This was all my fault. I wasn’t fast enough, strong enough, to save her. "You've fallen to the dark side."

Bastila rolled her eyes. "You say that as if the dark side is some terrible entity. The Jedi Council has brainwashed you like all the others. Like they once did me. They speak of the dark side as if it is something to be feared. But in reality, their only goal is to manipulate those who are strong in the Force. The fear of the dark side is a tool to maintain control."

I felt a lump form in my throat. This had to be some sort of nightmare. Bastila would never fall to the dark side. I racked my brain, trying desperately to think of something to say. "Bastila – the Council..."

She interrupted me. "Why do you think the Council forbid you and Malak to join the Mandalorian Wars? They knew you would realize your true potential and break free of their domination."

I shook my head. "Bastila, going into that war without the blessing of the Council was wrong – look what it did to me and Malak! Look at the pain we caused the galaxy!"

She ignored me and brushed a lock of brown hair out of her face. Her eyes were cold, completely void of feeling. "Malak has showed me how the Jedi Council used me, the same way they once tried to use you. They've been holding me back because they knew one day I would surpass them all!"

"Bastila, the Jedi have a lot of flaws, I won't deny that – but they were not trying to use you. Can't you see? This isn't who you are. Malak is the one who's using you! I saw him torturing you, I saw you resist the temptation."

The younger woman's eyes flared with anger. "And you abandoned me! Just like the council!" She inhaled deeply. "I resisted at first. I endured the Sith torture with the passionless serenity of a true Jedi – emptying my mind. But after a week of endless tortures, I finally saw the truth. Malak forced me to acknowledge my anger and pain. He showed me the liberating power of these emotions. Then he made me see how the Jedi Council has denied me what is mine by right! They gladly used my Battle Meditation in their wars, but they still treated me like a child – like an inferior. They were jealous of my power...of what I could become!

"They wanted me to bow and call them Master and follow their Code, and obey their every order. But all the while they were exploiting my Battle Meditation for their own use!"

"Listen to me, Bastila. Malak has spoon fed you nothing but lies. He is the one who is using you for your power – to turn you against us!" I struggled to maintain my control. Malak was going to pay for this.

"Lies? You are the one living a lie, Revan. The Jedi Council made you into something you are not; they programmed you to be their slave!"

"I am no one's slave, Bastila. I don't totally agree with what the Council did to me, but they had no other choice. I am, _was_ , a great threat to them, to the Republic, to the entire galaxy! But I choose to be who I am _now_. I choose to turn away from _Darth_ Revan. You can do the same, Bastila." For all I was worth, I couldn't keep the uncertainty out of my voice.

I felt Jolee and Juhani both place a hand on each of my shoulders, offering me support. Force, I had almost forgotten they were even here.

"You used to be Revan, Master of the Sith, but no longer. You are simply a pawn of the Jedi Council, the Republic they serve...like I was until Malak freed me from their shackles!"

"I am no one's pawn!" I could feel my anger rising. I took a deep breath. _There is no emotion...there is peace._

"A pity the power you once had is so diluted in you. You could have been as strong as I am now – stronger even. But that will never happen now." Bastila paused and raised her lightsaber. "With the power of the Star Forge, Malak will destroy the Republic and conquer the galaxy. And I will be the apprentice at his side – after I prove my worth by killing you!"

My companions stepped away, both igniting their weapons as Bastila rushed forward, focusing all of her anger, all of her aggression, on me. They were prepared to defend me at all costs.

"I don't want to fight you, Bastila. This isn't who you are!" I cried out as her lightsaber crashed against mine, blue melding against red, sparks flying from the weapons.

My back felt like it was going to snap in half with the pressure she was putting into her attack. But I would not fight her. I couldn't. My friend was still in there, somewhere, no matter what Malak had done to her. I wouldn't strike back. Defensive maneuvers only.

Bastila twisted her body to block the attacks coming from Jolee and Juhani. She threw up both of her hands and sent my friends flying back in opposite directions, against the stone walls, rendering them unconscious.

"No!" I cried. I wanted to run to them, to make sure they were okay, but Bastila wasn't

going to give me that luxury. She quickly turned back to me, raised her saber, and attacked.

I blocked her blows the best I could without fighting back. The more I blocked, however, the harder she hit. I could feel the aggression, the anger pouring off of her like a waterfall.

My arms and legs felt like they had been dipped in carbonite. They burned and ached painfully. If I kept this up, Bastila would kill me. But how could I fight back and not hurt her?

I used the Force and sent her flying backwards, catching her off guard by my sudden change of pace. But I needed the gain the upper hand, to catch my breathe if nothing else. Regroup.

Bastila and I were both breathing heavily. She stood on shaken legs and looked at me, confusion set in her eyes. "You are stronger than I would have thought possible, after what the Jedi Council did to you. Seems like Malak was wrong – the power of the dark side is not lost to you after all, Revan."

I extinguished my lightsaber, stealing a quick glance at Jolee and Juhani, who were both recovering from the impact of the stone wall. They stood and looked towards Bastila and I.

I turned back to her, afraid to drop my attention from her for too long. "I draw my power from the light now, Bastila. I no longer depend on the dark side for my strength."

She shook her head. "You can deny what you are, Revan, but you are only fooling yourself. I know the truth. I have seen the shadows inside your mind. Remember: I was there when you nearly died in the trap set by the Jedi Council. I used the Force to preserve your life, Revan. We are forever linked by my actions on that bridge."

Guilt tugged at my heart. I couldn't help but feel responsible for this. "And that is why I know you will turn away from this path, Bastila."

"These are not your true feelings, Revan. You are speaking as a tool of the Jedi Council – as I once did. But now I see how they used us both! The Council tried to exploit the bond between us. They hoped I would draw out your memories to lead them to the Star Forge. We were slaves to their will – like all those who follow the Jedi Code."

"They had no other choice, Bastila!"

She continued on. The girl really did love to hear her own voice. "But in our shared visions of the Star Maps, I also felt the so called dark taint within you. I resisted it at first, but now I embrace the power of the dark side – your dark side!"

"Learn from my mistakes! The dark side leads to nothing but death and destruction!" I cried. I tried to feel our bond through the Force, trying to physically feel how deep into the dark side she truly was, but she was hiding from me. I couldn't feel her.

"Mistakes? No, Revan. The only mistake you are making is the one you're making right now. You deny yourself the power that is yours by right! Only now do I realize how powerful you are. You deserve to be the Master of the Sith, not Malak. I see this now." Bastila's eyes suddenly lit up with excitement. "Together, we can destroy your old apprentice. Join with me and reclaim your lost identity!"

I could feel the eyes of my companions on me, waiting for my response. I shook my head. "I don't even remember those days."

"Your mind was too badly damaged to ever fully restore your memories, Revan. But your power – your strength of will – the essence of who and what you are: these things still remain!

"Once, long ago, you defied the Jedi Council, freeing yourself from their control. You claimed your rightful title of Dark Lord of the Sith. Together we can defeat Malak and take back what is yours!"

Juhani stepped up next to me. "Bastila, it is not too late for you to be saved. The teachings of the Jedi can lead you back from the dark side back into the light, and a true understanding of the Force."

Bastila frowned, glowering at the Cathar. "You are _beneath_ my contempt, Juhani! When you felt the power of the dark side, you fled to a cave like some cowering animal. You know nothing of the Force or it's true potential!" She turned her gaze back to me. "But _you_ , Revan – the power of the dark side is yours to command! You can use it to destroy Malak! With my help, you could rule over the entire galaxy!"

Her words echoed inside my mind. I could feel the power of the dark side calling out to me, tempting me to taste it. I tried desperately to push it away. "I have something to live for now, Bastila. I cannot, _will_ not go down that path again. I will not hurt anymore people than I already have."

The younger woman's brow furrowed deeply, a growl escaping her lips. "You know as well as I do, that the Council will not let you be with _him._ You could have him _and_ the power in your grasp, but only if you join me."

 _She's right,_ I thought, panicked. _The Council forbids attachment of any kind. They'll never let us be together._

Bastila suddenly smiled that slow, sadistic grin that she had acquired. She closed her eyes. "Ask him to follow you, and he will."

My mind suddenly began to spin. I felt dizzy and nauseated. I looked towards Bastila and noticed a tall figure stepping out from the shadows. "Carth?"

 _No, it can't be. He's supposed to be on the Ebon Hawk._ But it looked exactly like him, minus his orange flight jacket, shirt, and instead of the kind smile he always gave me, was the same evil grin that Bastila had plastered on her face.

Carth walked up to me and gripped my face in his hands. I couldn't help but notice the pressure he used. He had always had a gentle and loving touch. But this Carth's touch was neither. He held my head firmly. His breath hot on my face. "Come with us, Revan. I'll follow you wherever you go."

I tried to speak but I couldn't find the strength. I felt like I would collapse any minute.

When I didn't answer, Carth frowned and tightened his hold on me. "If you love me, you'll join me. We can rule this galaxy together. Make it the way we want it to be."

 

* * *

 

_-Jolee-_

 

Something wasn't right. I could feel the confusion swirling from Revan through the Force. She seemed to be looking at something, speaking with it, but unless my old eyes were failing me, there was nothing there but Bastila.

Juhani looked just as confused as I did. She raised a furry eyebrow at me. She could feel it too. What in the name of the Force was Bastila doing to the poor kid?

Bastila was kneeling on the stone, perspiration beading at her hairline, and began trickling down her cheek. She was too occupied to deal with us at the moment.

I reached over and touched Revan's shoulder and immediately knew what was going on. Through their bond, Bastila was tricking her mind, showing her false images.

I could see Revan being held, albeit not too gently, by an imaginary Carth Onasi, who was persuading her to join him and Bastila, and was succeeding. Revan’s will was strong, but her love for the Republic soldier left her as vulnerable just as much as it strengthened her.

"Jolee, what's going on?" Juhani asked, I could hear the worry in her voice.

"Bastila’s forcing a vision on her, tempting her over to the dark side. She thinks she's seeing Carth."

Juhani frowned. "But Revan is not weak minded."

I sighed, and suddenly realized why the damned Council forbid Jedi to love. "She's only weak when it comes to that damned pilot."

I reached into the Force and touched Revan's mind. _"Don't do this, kid. That's not Carth. Bastila's using a mind trick on you. Fight it!"_

" _I can't fight him, Jolee. I love him. I...I can't lose him." Revan began to tremble uncontrollably._

" _I'm telling you, lass. That's_ not _him. The real Carth would never ask you to join the dark side. He would want you to fight this."_

_She began to sob. "I don't know, Jolee. I don't know what's real anymore."_

" _I'm not going to let you do this, kid. I'll have to fight you if you listen to this bantha crap. You're stronger than this. And I don't want to have to kill you. I love ya too much, lass. And so does Carth, Mission, Zaalbar, Juhani and the damned droids. And I think Canderous would be rather upset as well."_

The imaginary Carth leaned down and kissed Revan with a possessiveness that brought Revan to her knees. She was failing.

Suddenly, my talk with Carth back at the Ebon Hawk invaded my thick skull. _"Revan, listen to me. Before we left the ship, Carth begged me not to hurt you if something went wrong. And he also told me to tell you that you're thinking for two now. Only the real Carth would say something like that, no?"_

Revan's eyes squeezed shut and let out a pain-filled cry. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she ignited her lightsaber once more and impaled Carth in the chest.

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

 

I watched in horror as Carth's eyes rolled into the back of his head. Hot tears sprang to my eyes as I pulled my weapon from the chest of the man I loved.

But instead of falling to the ground, he vanished. _Jolee was right, he wasn't real. The real Carth was safe. I hadn't killed him._ Relief flooded over me, causing my knees to buckle again. Jolee and Juhani rushed to my side and lifted me back up.

Bastila stood, anger invading her once pretty face. "You are a weak and pathetic fool, Revan. Together we could have defeated Malak and ruled over an Empire. But now, I'll be at Lord Malak's side instead. You will be crushed with the Republic and all the fools who bow down to the Jedi Council. No one can stand against the Star Forge and the Sith Fleet!"

And with that, Bastila turned on her heels and ran off to her ship, flying off to the Star Forge.


	29. Part Twenty-Nine

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


I watched as Bastila's ship disappeared and sighed. She was gone.

"C'mon kid," Jolee said, giving my shoulder a light squeeze. "We gotta shut down that disruptor field before the Republic smashes into it."

I nodded. My legs felt like rubber, my steps heavy, as I made my way over to the computer console and sliced into the mainframe. _I gotta remember to get T3 to make me some more spikes._

I double checked each camera to make sure we hadn't missed any dark Jedi that could still be lurking within the temple. Finding nothing, I went back to the main screen and disabled the disruptor field, as well as the force shield at the entrance, and turned back to my companions. "It's done."

Juhani nodded. "We should head back to the Ebon Hawk and get off of this planet. We do not have much time before the Republic ships arrives."

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


The sun was beginning to set and there was still no sign of the Jedi. I was becoming extremely anxious, nervous, and more worried by each passing minute.

I tried everything possible to keep my mind off of everything. Canderous and I teamed up and worked on repairing the hyperdrive with the parts we had found. Luckily, the Hawk was now up and ready to go.

Now we just had to wait for Revan to get back.

And it was driving me insane. _Where_ are _they?_

I began passing in front of the loading ramp, ignoring Mission's eye rolls.

"Carth, if you keep biting your thumb you're gonna bite the calluses off." Mission snapped sarcastically as she picked at a blade of grass that was protruding through the sand.

"Uh huh," I mumbled a response, not really hearing her.

Mission shook her head, twisting the blade of grass between her fingers. She was silent for a few moments before she spoke again. "I'm sure she's okay, Carth."

I stopped pacing and rubbed my face in my hands. "I'm sure she is, but I…I just wish I knew for sure." I growled in frustration and plopped down next to the young twi'lek. "I hate feeling this…this helpless. I should be there with her. I can't help but think something's happened inside that temple. "

Mission placed a hand on my shoulder. "Rev's strong. She can handle anything."

I let out a long, exasperated sigh. "That's not the point. I made a promise to her that I would protect her. But she…she just keeps pushing me away whenever…"

Mission deepened her voice to mimic Carth's voice. "Carth, did it ever occur to you that she doesn't want you to get hurt…or worse?" She grinned. "I seem to recall _someone_ telling me that exact same thing a couple of days ago."

I laughed, despite myself. "Be glad you're not my kid, Mission or you would be grounded for that."

The teenager stuck her tongue out at me. Silence settled between us before she cleared her throat and spoke again. "So are you gonna give her the ring?"

I shrugged. "I don't know yet. As much as I want to marry Revan…" my voice trailed off into an exasperated sigh. "It seems almost…creepy in a sense, to give her a ring that belonged to my wife, doesn't it?"

Mission shrugged and plucked another blade of grass from the ground and began shredding it. "I guess. But, then again, Rev's not exactly your typical woman, ya know? She doesn't really pride herself in personal possessions." She laughed a little. "Well, except for her lightsaber of course. I hope she'll like the one Jolee and I made for her."

I smiled at her. "I'm sure she will, Mish." I frowned as a thought suddenly occurred to me. "Hey, you don't have any extra parts left from that lightsaber, do you?"

Mission raised her eyebrow and nodded. "Yeah, there should be some still on the workbench. Why?"

"Got anything small enough to fit a ring finger?" I asked with a grin.

Her blue lips twitched upwards. "Only if I can help,"

"You got it."

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


We began our trek back to the ship in silence, when the dream I’d had a couple of night before about my mother crept into my mind. "Hey Jolee?"

"What is it, lass?"

"Do you remember anything about my mother?"

The older Jedi stopped walking and stared at me, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why would I know anything about your mother?"

I shrugged. "You seem to know a lot about my past, along with everything else, so I figured you might be able to fill me in."

Jolee scratched his beard. "What brought this up?"

"Well," I started. "when we crashed here, I had another vision. Of myself, Malak, and Kreia. And she was beginning to tell me about my mother when…"

Jolee finished for me. "She was exiled."

I nodded.

Frowning, Jolee shook his head. "There's nothing I can tell you about that, lass. At least, not now. There is way too much that still has to be done."

He must have noticed the desperate look on my face, because he sighed and touched my shoulder. "Look, kid. When we're done with this, I promise I'll help you remember as much of your past as I can. Although, I don't know exactly how much I should tell you. Considering..."

Juhani nodded. “Perhaps it would be better to keep anything about the Dark Lord’s past where it where it, an unknown. But knowing of your childhood couldn’t hurt.”

I nodded. "That's all I really want. Darth Revan's past can stay buried for all I care. I just want _my_ past back."

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


Mission grinned at our finished project, holding up in the dim light of the cargo hold. "Wow,"

"Think she'll like it?" I asked, more than slightly amazed by the outcome. I had to weld the pieces together, and smooth them out, but it came out quite nicely, I thought.

"She'd better! I think this was more work than the blasted lightsaber!"

We had found a bunch of extra lightsaber crystals cargo hold. We chipped away several fragments from it. I just hoped the Jedi wouldn't mind.

I stood and placed a hand on Mission's shoulder. "Thanks for the help, kiddo." I grinned down at her. "You did good."

The youngster's face beamed with pride. "Thanks, geezer."

She was about to say something else, but Canderous shouted from outside. "Yo, Republic! Your girlfriend's back!"

Excitement, nervousness, and anxiety flooded my insides. I don't even think I had been this nervous when I had proposed to Morgana. Mission handed the homemade ring back to me. "Go get your Jedi."

 _Jedi._ Would Revan say yes, despite what the Jedi Council would do? I felt my stomach knot together. "Do you think she'll say yes?" I felt a little silly asking a fourteen year old for love advice, but she had proved useful in the past. "Even against the Council's wishes?"

"If she doesn't, can I have the ring?"

"Thanks, Mish." I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "You're a real help."

"I try."

I pocketed the ring before we made our way outside. Canderous, Zaalbar, and the droids were already surrounding the Jedi.

Revan looked exhausted. Her face was dirt smeared and blood stained. Her Jedi robes a bit tattered and torn. I wanted to run to her and comfort her, but something held me back. What, though, I don't know. Too many questions were plunging around in my head. "You're back! Where's Bastila? Is she alive? What happened inside that temple?"

Revan lifted her bloodshot eyes to meet mine. "Bastila's fallen to the dark side, Carth." Fresh tears sprang to her eyes as she said the words.

I glanced at Jolee and Juhani and the both nodded. "The dark side? Bastila? No…no! How could that happen?"

Jolee sighed and rubbed a hand over his balding head. "Bastila was always in danger of being seduced by the dark side, Carth. She's strong in the Force, but she's always been impatient and headstrong. And Malak prayed upon her weaknesses."

Revan sunk down into the sand and wrapped her arms around her herself. "This is all my fault."

Jolee beat me to the punch. "In the end we all choose our own path, but keep in mind the part you played in her downfall. You and the task assigned to her by the Council."

Revan's bloodshot eyes looked up at Jolee, pain in her eyes as she nodded. I had never wanted to gag the old man more in my life.

"Remember the bond that was forged between you when she rekindled the spark that was your life. Through that bond she touched your memories, and also the echo of the dark taint within you."

The look on Revan's face made me want to come to her rescue. "But there's still hope for her, right? I mean, Revan rejected the dark side so Bastila could too, right? We still might be able to save her."

Revan laid her chin on her knees. "I'm not going to rest until Bastila's back with us."

Juhani crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't know what fate awaits us, but I sense Bastila still has a role to play in the events to come." She sighed heavily. "I have no doubt that she'll be waiting for us on the Star Forge."

Jolee snorted. "No doubt," he turned back to Revan. "I must say it's good to have you with us, my dear. For a minute I thought you might decide…" his voice trailed off and he smiled softly. "Well, never mind what I thought."

I frowned and glanced down at Revan. She was trembling. "Decide? Decide what?" I demanded, my fists clenching in anticipation.

After a minute of silence, Juhani finally spoke up, a proud smile spreading on her face. "Bastila tried to tempt her to the dark side. To reclaim Revan's heritage." She paused and smiled down at Revan. "She failed."

I stared in utter disbelief at Revan. Pride and joy poured through me enough that I was sure that Revan could feel it. "So…you did it? You turned against Revan once and for all? I knew she wasn't part of you anymore! I…I knew it!"

I knelt in front of her and took her hands in mine. Tears began to wield in her eyes and she nodded.

"I told you that you would have to make a choice eventually, and that you would be tested. I think this was it. I…I can feel it!" I reached over and brushed her hair off her forehead. "And you did exactly what I thought you would. It…it couldn't have been easy. I'm…I'm very proud of you."

She smiled sadly and mouthed the words "Thank you."

I gently pulled her to her feet. "Always. I'm not certain any of us wouldn't have been tempted by Bastila's offer." I paused and placed my hand on her cheek. "I…I love you. You know what right? I love you like I haven't loved anyone or anything since my wife died. I didn't even think that was possible." I smiled down at her and put my arms around her waist. I didn't care that everyone was standing around us, watching us. All that mattered was Revan. "I love you. And…and I can't wait until all of this is over with."

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


I felt Carth idly trace my ring finger with his. I looked up into his eyes. He meant it. He truly loved me. I had wanted to hear those words for so long. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I love you, too."

My breath caught in my throat as Carth leaned down and kissed me desperately. His beard tickled my face, but I didn't care. I ignored the groans and the snickers from our companions and concentrated on our kiss. Even after all the pain I had caused this man, he loved me. I could feel it in his kiss, in his very being. I pulled him closer and deepened the kiss.

Mission groaned. "Sheesh, get a room, will ya?"

I felt the vibration of Carth's laugh against my chest and my lips before he reluctantly broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against mine, his breath warm against my face.

Zalbaar growled a laugh. [Two spirits have found each other amongst such turmoil is a good omen, Mission. Does it not please you to see?]

"Oh sure, but even a good omen can get itself a room, though, don't you think?"

Jolee harrumphed. "Well, I'm an old man and I know you should take love when you can find it. Good for you two, I say."

Carth snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me into his side.

“ _Beep boop beep!"_

"Statement: I have no idea what they speak of droid. Organic meat bags are an eternal mystery to me."

Juhani cleared her throat and shifted her weight onto her other foot uncomfortably. "Confidence is all well and good, Carth, but if we're going to catch up to Bastila, we should leave soon, don't you think?"

Carth gave me a final kiss on the forehead. "Okay, let's get moving. The longer we wait, the harder this is going to be."


	30. Part Thirty

_-Revan-_

  
  


Carth dragged me into our sleeping quarters before anyone else could start asking questions. He pointed for me to sit on the edge of the bed and shut the door behind him.

"Carth, I'm fine, really…I can just heal these myself."

My arguments were futile, of course. My Flyboy was very persistent, after all. Carth knelt down in front of me, his knees cracking in protest, and began to look over my various wounds and abrasions on my knees, arms, and face.

He tore open a kolto pack with his teeth and gently applied it to a deep cut on my face. I winced on contact. Carth gently held the side of my face so I couldn't move. "Sorry." He whispered, and gingerly wiped at the cut again.

I watched him as he carefully and attentively administered the medication. His worried expression seemed almost permanent. I gently placed my hands on the side of his face, forcing him to look at me. "Carth, sweetheart, I'm alright."

Carth sighed and slowly lowered his hand. I could sense there was something bothering him, more than my very minor cuts and bruises. He was doing that thing he always did when he was either angry or nervous; clenching and unclenching his jaw. His mouth kept gaping open, as if wanting to say something, but immediately changed his mind.

Instead, he reached his hand up to cup the back of my neck and pressed his lips to mine, catching me off guard. After my immediate shock, I leaned into the kiss; bring my hands up to rest on the sides of his neck.

After a while, Carth broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against mine. I could hear his heart pounding. His eyes were still closed, as his hands found their way into my hair. His emotions were all over the place.

"Carth," I whispered, brushing the hair off his forehead. "What's bothering you?"

Carth gave me a sly look. "Well, I'm a little breathless after that kiss, not to mention a little – "

I laughed and rolled my eyes, playfully slapping his arm. "No, bantha brain!" I shook my head. "That's not what I meant." I pursed my lips and gave him a quizzical glance. "I can sense your emotions. They're rolling off of you like waves." I gently touched his cheek. "Talk to me."

Carth sat back on his knees and ran a hand through his thick hair. "Actually, Beautiful, there was something I wanted to ask you…"

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


I swallowed hard. My nerves were in complete shambles as I gazed into those enchanting, multicolored eyes of hers, as she waited patiently for me to continue. But I wasn't so sure that I could.

Could I really ask this of her? To leave the Jedi Order to be with me? Would she even _want_ to? Aside from the solider career that the Council had implanted into her mind, being a Jedi was what she knew. It was who she was.

She was strong, cunning, graceful, and amazingly full of life. The Jedi Order needed her. The entire galaxy needed her.

But, so did I. She had awoken something in me that I had once thought lost forever. Trust, honor, friendship, and most of all, love.

But the Jedi would never let us be together. I frowned at the thought of the Council and all of their uptight, persnickety, wrinkled old….

"Carth?"

Screw the Council. I had to do this.

My hands were shaking as I reached out and took her hand in mine. "Gorgeous, I know now may not be the best of times for this…but…"

A knock on the door interrupted me. Revan and I both looked up to see Mission's blue head poke around the door. "Hey guys?"

I shot the little twi'lek an irritated glance. "Mission, can this wait? I was just about to ask Revan a _very_ _important_ question" I cocked my head in Revan's direction.

Mission bit her lip. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but there's a transmission coming in from the Republic fleet." She looked over to me. "Admiral Dodonna wishes to speak with you."

Revan nodded. "Thank you, Mission. We'll be right there."

The teenager nodded and shot me an apologetic look as she shut the door.

I sighed and raked my hand through my hair again. "Guess this will have to wait."

Revan smiled as she stood, pulling me up with her. "C'mon, Flyboy let's get going."

I cocked my head in the direction of the door. "Go on ahead. I'll be right behind you."

When she was gone, I quickly shoved the ring underneath the pillow on the bed. I didn't want to chance losing it on the Star Forge. That way, I could just ask her when we returned.

If we return.

 

* * *

 

"The Republic Fleet must have got the message I sent as we were crashing onto the planet. I'm picking up a transmission from them now." I said to no one in particular. The entire crew had convened in the common room for listen.

A holographic image popped up in front of us. "This is Admiral Forn Dodonna to the Ebon Hawk. Do you read us?"

I stepped up in front of the crew and saluted. "Admiral, this is Commander Carth Onasi. We are receiving your transmission."

The Admiral smiled faintly. "Carth, I'm glad to you're still alive. We've begun our assault on the Star Forge, but we're taking heavy losses. How did the Sith ever manage to build something of this scope?"

I felt Revan step up beside me and place a hand on my lower back. I suppressed the urge to smile. "The Star Forge wasn't constructed by the Sith, Admiral. We don't have time for me to fully explain it, but that space station is far older than you can imagine."

A worried expression passed over the older woman's face. "Maybe we should pull the fleet back and retreat. I don't know if we have the firepower to go against this alien technology."

I felt Revan stiffen beside me. I cleared my throat. "With all due respect, Admiral, you can't do that. The Star Forge is a factory of immense power. It's been churning out the capital ships, snub fighters, and assault droids that have powered the Sith war effort. You have to destroy the Star Forge now or you will be fighting an unending wave of reinforcements."

Forn sighed. "Then I guess we have no choice. But it isn't going to be easy. I can't even get our capital ships into position to start bombarding the Star Forge."

She sighed and took off her hat, running a hand through her graying short hair, and then returned it to its rightful place. "The Sith Fleet is too well organized. It's like…they can guess our every move and counter our every strategy."

Beside me, Revan sighed sadly and I turned to her as she spoke. "It's because of Bastila, Admiral. She's turned to the dark side and became Malak's apprentice."

I squeezed Revan's elbow before returning back to Dodonna. "We suspect she's somewhere on that space station right now."

Revan gazed down at the floor. "She's using her Battle Meditation ability against you and your fleet."

A small, familiar figure stepped up beside the Admiral. Revan gripped my arm. "Master Vandar! He...he's alive!"

Dodonna nodded. "A number of Jedi Knights have joined our fleet under his command."

The older Jedi nodded to Revan. "Revan. I am glad to see you are safe and sound, and I can sense you are still well on the path of the light."

Revan nodded, nearly blushing. "Thank you, Master."

The Jedi Master turned stone serious again. "If Bastila is using her power to augment the Sith, then Malak's fleet is invincible. Our only hope is to somehow stop Bastila from using her Battle Meditation.'

"How can we do that if she's on the space station?" Dodonna asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Vandar scratched his wrinkly chin. "I will send a squadron of Jedi Knights to the Star Forge to find Bastila. Their small ships should be able to fly through the Sith blockade and dock on the space station. If they can find her, they may be able to distract her from the battle overhead. That should allow you to move your capital ships into position for a final assault on the Star Forge itself."

Dodonna nodded and turned back to us. "I hate to ask you this after all you've done, Carth, but the Jedi may need all the help they can get…"

I held up my hand to cut her off. "Don't worry, Admiral. The Ebon Hawk and her crew will see this through to the end."

The Admiral and I saluted each other, while the old Jedi Master nodded gravely.

"And may the Force be with us all."


	31. Part Thirty-One

_-Revan-_

  
  


I found Carth in the cockpit, preparing for the preflight checklist. He was so preoccupied with his work; he didn't hear me come in.

He jumped slightly when I wrapped my arms around his neck from behind the pilot's seat and kissed his cheek. "Hey there, soldier."

Carth turned his head and grinned up towards me. "Hi there, Gorgeous." He took one of my hands and pulled me around and into his lap. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he leaned his chin down on my shoulder. "We should be ready for take off in about twenty minutes."

I nodded half-heartedly. "Sounds good."

He gazed down at me, his eyebrows raised. "You're taking this whole ordeal better than expected. I mean, in less than an hour, we're going to be facing Malak again, and you're completely calm."

I snorted sarcastically, intertwining our fingers together. "What can I say; I have a good pazaak face."

Carth tucked my head underneath his chin and sighed. "I wish I had an ounce of the strength that you have."

I closed my eyes and cuddled closer to him. "I'm telling you, Carth, it's all an act. On the outside, I may look all calm and collected. But in truth, I'm a nervous wreck."

He gently tweaked my nose with his forefinger and kissed my forehead. "We'll get through this, Gorgeous. Just this one last step and this will all be over, and we can move on with our lives."

 _If only it would be all over,_ I thought sadly. _I don't think it will ever be over._ I shivered at the thought. Even if we were able to defeat Malak and his followers, there would always be someone out there to take his place.

And what happens if I fail? I wouldn't just be failing the crew; I would be failing the Republic…the entire galaxy.

I would be failing Carth.

"Revan?" Carth squeezed my arms. "Beautiful, are you alright? You look really pale." He gently caressed my cheek with his rough thumb. "You should get some rest before we get there. You're gonna need all of the energy you can muster."

I nodded my head, pushing those awful thoughts from my mind, and slowly disentangled myself from Carth's arms. I stood and straightened my robes and began to walk out of the cockpit, when Carth grabbed my arm.

He swirled the chair around to face me. "Hey," he leaned down and brushed his lips against my hand. "I love you."

I smiled and squeezed his hand. "I love you too, Flyboy."

Carth gave me a lopsided grin before turning his chair back around. "At least that got a smile out of you."

 

* * *

  
  


After a few futile attempts at a nap, I gave up and went to take a quick shower.

I stood against the wall of the refresher, eyes closed, just letting the cold water splash over my hot face.

As soon as I closed my eyes, I immediately regretted it. Visions invaded my very being. I felt myself begin to shake uncontrollably.

_A nineteen year old version of myself stood in front of the Jedi Council, hands clasped tightly behind my back. Malak stood next to me._

_"Masters," I started meekly. "I've been contacted by Republic Intelligence regarding the matter of the war that is currently going on. I believe that it is our purpose to aide them in this war with the Mandalorians. We fear that if we do not lend a hand, the Republic….and the galaxy will fall."_

_Master Vrook was the one to respond. "The matter is being investigated, Padawan Revan. The Council has decided…"_

_My heart pounded as I waited for the answer. I felt Malak stiffen beside me. He and I had shared the same vision of the fall of the Republic. Not by the hands of the Mandalorians…but something much, much darker. They were just the pre-show before the big blow out._

_The tension in the room could be cut with a vibroblade as we waited for the Council to answer._

_"…that we need to wait this out, and discover the true meaning behind this war before we intervene."_

_I felt all the hope I had fall into oblivion. "With all due respect, Masters, I beg for you to reconsider. Deralia, my home planet, has already fallen under the attacks. My family was killed! How many more are to follow before we fight back?"_

_Master Zhar cleared his throat and gazed down at me sympathetically. "We understand that this has been a very hard thing for you, Revan. But we do ask that you trust in the wisdom of the Council and honor our request."_

_Vrook spoke again, his voice gruff as ever. "You must learn to control your emotions. We are sorry for the loss of your planet, Revan. But you know as well as anyone that that is the reason we do not condone personal attachments."_

_I frowned. I could feel the anger rise from the pit of my stomach. "Personal attachments? That was my home! My family! How dare you..."_

_"Enough!" Vrook's gruff, monotone voice raised a couple of decibels. "That is quite enough, Revan. This meeting is over."_

_Before we knew it, we were forced out of the Council Chambers. Rage surged through me at new levels that I had never experienced. The Jedi Code definitely wasn't helping me here._

_Malak waited until we were outside of the enclave and inside the Crystal Caves to speak. He gently placed his arm around my shoulders. "The Council's wrong, you know. I think that we should take this matter into our own hands."_

_I sat down on a rock at the end of the cavern. Many people had been terrified of these caves, with all of the kenrath that flocked to it, due to the stream that flowed through it. But this place had become a favorite to me and Malak. "How are we going to do that when the Master's won't allow us to intervene? They won't give us clearance to leave."_

_"They don't have to give us clearance. I anticipated their reaction and spoke to a pilot friend of mine." Malak grinned. "He's agreed to lend us a ship and supplies. As well as the clearance we need to leave Dantooine."_

_I smiled. "Who?"_

_"Atton Rand," Malak admitted. "I have a feeling he's going to aide us quite a bit in the years to come."_

I turned off the shower and quickly dressed. I couldn’t remember who this Atton Rand was, but he apparently was a friend of Malak's and had aided us in the war.

After this was over, I made a mental note to look into it.

I made my way into the cargo hold to find Jolee and Mission chatting idly. Mission's eyes brightened when she saw me. She rushed over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. "Great timing! We have something for you."

I put my arm around my little friend's shoulders and looked over at Jolee, eyebrows raised. "What's going on?"

Mission clapped her hands together excitedly. "Can I give it to her?"

The old Jedi chuckled. "Sure thing, lass." He reached behind him and pulled out a long, black box and handed it to her.

She walked back over to me, a huge smile on her face. "Jolee and I worked really hard on this," she paused. "I hope you like it."

Curiosity piqued, I accepted the box from her greatly. The lid creaked loudly as I opened it. My heart caught in my throat as I gazed inside in awe.

Inside the box, was a beautiful, handcrafted double-bladed lightsaber. It was absolutely amazing. I couldn't form a coherent word to express my thanks to them.

"I gave Jolee my Krayt dragon pearl that I got on Tatooine to use for it." Mission said with a smile.

"This lightsaber," Jolee said, crossing his arms over his chest. "is slightly more powerful than your current one. I used Mission's pearl and some of my own crystals." He smiled suddenly. "Look at the hilt."

Tears wielded in my eyes. Just like my old lightsaber, the one that belonged to Darth Revan, it held its own insignia.

I read it aloud. "Hate is the love that has lost its way." I looked at Jolee with clouded eyes.

He smiled softly. "The way I see it, lass, you began your path to the dark side because of the love you harbored for Malak, the Jedi, and the Republic. It just got lost somewhere along the way, but found its way back to the light, and to the love with Carth." He paused again. "It detaches at the hilt, and can become two sabers, if needed."

I embraced my friends. "Thank you so much," I wiped my eyes. "Both of you."

Carth's voice suddenly came over the comm system. "We're docking onto the Star Forge right now. Everyone be ready."

I took a deep breath as I clipped my new lightsaber to my belt. "Let's go try this baby out."


	32. Part Thirty-Two

_-Revan-_

  
  


Carth met us in the hangar bay shortly after we docked onto the Star Forge. My heart pounded in my chest, as if ready to explode at any second. He placed a gentle arm around my waist and turned the rest of the crew. "Alright, we don't have much time, but we need to figure out who's going and who's staying here to guard the Hawk."

I glanced over towards Mission, who was leaning against the workbench, feet crossed at the ankles, arms crossed over her chest. Her lekku was wrapped tightly around her neck. Her eyes met mine briefly before quickly averting her gaze back to the floor panels.

"I'll go," Canderous' voice boomed throughout the confined space of the room. "I need to get off this ship and shoot something before I go soft like the rest of you,"

Jolee snorted. "Couldn't have that, now could we?"

The Mandalorian shrugged.

"Well," Carth said, grinning down at me. "You're not leaving me behind this time, Beautiful. So don't even try it."

"It may be a good idea to take one of the droids as well." Juhani suggested. "Just incase."

"Good idea," Carth nodded his head in approval. "We can afford to lose HK right? Not being called a meatbag anymore sounds pretty appealing."

"Statement: If you were not the Master's favorite meatbag, I would personally see to it that the original bald meatbag shove his lightsaber up your…"

"HK! That's enough!" I cried, throwing my arms up in frustration. "This is neither the time, nor the place for this." I pointed a finger at the copper assassin droid. "You need to start showing more respect for the meatba…I mean Carth."

"Hey!" Carth laughed, pulling gently on my ponytail.

"Unrepentant Apology: Sorry, Master." HK shot Carth a threatening glare and lowered his rifle.

"Okay, I guess that's settled." Jolee stated, fingering his graying beard. He glanced at me, a worried expression creasing on his wrinkled face. "Although, I would really like to be there to make sure you don't get into anymore trouble."

"We'll keep our comms on so that we can keep in touch," Carth answered.

I nodded in agreement. "You, Juhani, and Big Z could stay here, keep an eye on Mission, and help the Jedi that are here on the landing pad."

"I don't need a babysitter." Mission exclaimed heatedly.

Zalbaar growled and huffed towards me. [I made a vow to you, Revan, that I feel that I have not lived up to. Please allow me to accompany you into this dangerous station.]

I smiled at the wookiee. “Zalbaar, you have more than proved yourself to me. You've been a great friend. You're free, Big Z. But if you feel that you want to continue with your life debt, you would be more helpful to me by protecting our favorite twi'lek over there. I couldn't live with myself if the two of you were to be hurt…or worse.”

The large wookiee whimpered in protest, but wrapped his massive arms around my shoulders and placed his large paw on the top of my head. [I will honor your request. But be careful.]

“We will. Don't worry.” I promised as he released me with a nod.

I turned to back to Mission. "Promise me you'll stay here and behave?"

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


Mission just stared at her blankly. When she didn't respond, she gripped her by the arms gently, but firmly. "Promise me,"

The teenager continued to stare at Revan before roughly extracting herself from her embrace.

Hurt, Revan took a step back as if Mission had burned her. I watched her take a deep breath and headed out of the room to the ramp, Canderous right on her heels.

I glared at Mission. "She doesn't need this right now. Revan's under a hell of a lot of stress right now. Hell, we all are."

The teenager looked down at the floor. "I know…I'm just…scared, I guess."

I placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I couldn't be mad at her, really. I felt the same way. I turned to follow Revan and Canderous.

"Hey, Carth?" Mission's voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Yeah?"

The little twi'lek wrapped her arms around herself protectively as she glanced up with me with tears in her eyes. "Take care of her, okay?"

I smiled a little, despite myself. "I will. I promise."

 

* * *

 

We were greeted by a female Jedi as soon as we descended down the loading ramp. The woman was frantically out of breath as she approached us.

"You made it!" she exclaimed. "Several Jedi have already gone ahead into the Star Forge. We have to strike while we still have the element of surprise.

Revan nodded. "We have two Jedi still on our ship, as well as a wookiee, who are willing to help with whatever you may need down here."

"We'll probably need them. If we don't stop Bastila from using her Battle Meditation, the entire Republic fleet will be wiped out." The Jedi continued, albeit not too friendly. I didn't like the way she kept eyeing Revan. The way she kept staring at her with eyes as hard as durasteel bugged me until no end.

Canderous looked about as angry as I felt. He took a step forward, his repeater rifle thrown over his shoulder and glared at the woman.

I was about to make my own comment, when Revan placed a hand on my arm, evidently sensing my annoyance. "Come on," she said quietly. "lets go before they…"

A door slid open to reveal several dark Jedi, lightsabers already ignited for battle.

"Damn!" the Jedi sighed in frustration. "So much for catching them unprepared."

I grabbed my blasters from the holsters at the same instance Revan called her lightsaber to her hand.

The rude Jedi ran forward. "We'll deal with these Sith – you get into the Star Forge and find Bastila! Hurry!"

 

* * *

 

_-Meanwhile-_

  
  


Malak stood, staring at his monitors, watching the battle going on over head, when he felt the presence of someone in the room. He turned quickly to see one of his apprentices, Darth Menarous walking briskly towards him.

"Lord Malak," Menarous began. "A team of Jedi have penetrated our defenses. Their fighters have landed on the Star Forge."

Malak glared down at his apprentice. "This is not unexpected. The Jedi are formidable opponents." He stopped for a moment, contemplating on which strategy to administer first. "Send out the Star Forge's battle droids to deal with them."

Menarous looked surprised, and more than just a little frightened. "Forgive me, my Lord…but how can mere droids be a match for the Jedi?"

"You underestimate the power of the Star Forge's army." His eyes hardened as he turned away from the impotent man. "Dispatch the droids."

Menarous bowed to his Master. "Of course, Lord Malak."

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


The metal door slammed shut the moment we entered the Rakatan factory.

"Can you get us around this place?" Canderous asked, glancing around.

The Star Forge was a maze. The long ramps ran down into several sections that each lead to a large, massive door.

"Probably not," I couldn't really see the layout of the space station in my mind. "but I'll try."

Canderous snorted. "That's reassuring."

We made our way down the ramp and, almost instinctively turned to the left. I frowned as we neared the door. "HK, can you detect any organics behind here?"

Almost as soon as the words left my mouth, an explosion went off, the impact sending me flying backwards into my companions as the door disintegrated.

Three assault droids stood in our way, weapons pointed directly at each of our foreheads.

"This," Carth mumbled dryly. "Is gonna suck."  


	33. Part Thirty-Three

_-Revan-_

  
  


We finally managed our way through the ambush of assault droids. HK and Canderous looked rather pleased with themselves as they scavenged through the fallen debris.

We continued on down the long ramp until we heard the sounds of lightsabers crashing together, that were only drowned out by the sounds of painful cries and screams.

I watched in horror as several Jedi fell to the ground, dead. Most of them I recognized from the academy on Dantooine. I could feel each and every one of them become one with the Force as they fell at the hands of the dark Jedi.

It was overwhelming to feel so many transform into the Force at one time, and the pull from the dark side energy within this station, that my knees started to give away.

The guys quickly gripped my arms to still me. "You're really gonna have to stop doin' that." Canderous mocked.

"Are you okay?" Carth asked, concern creasing his brow.

I closed my eyes and tried to center myself the best that I could. _There is no death, there is the Force._ "I felt them." Was all I managed to say.

Carth frowned. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

I took a deep breath. "I felt each one of those Jedi become one with the Force." As frightening as it had been, there was still some sort of comfort in the feeling. Almost as if, the power and strength that the different Jedi carried within them flowed into me. It was disconcerting, but beautiful in the same sense.

The five dark Jedi finally saw us as they turned to leave. I heard one of them cackle. "More victims for us to slaughter,"

One moment, our opponents were several feet away, the next; they were on top of us. I ignited my lightsaber in time enough to catch the red blade with mine, just before it made contact with my throat.

I pushed my predator away enough to give me distance for my defense. Carth, Canderous and HK were busy enough on their own, fighting the other Dark Jedi together.

The one I was fighting, however, appeared to be the leader of this group. Her techniques were more savage, more determined, than the others, I noticed.

She struck at me again, this time aiming for my ankles. Using the Force, I jumped up high enough to escape the attack, and sent the heel of my boot into her chest.

She staggered backwards, but recovered quickly. Her gray eyes filled with anger as she advanced on me again.

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


I finally managed to get a lethal shot into my attacker. I quickly turned to check on Revan.

She was twirling her new lightsaber around with a deadly grace. Her face was completely emotionless as she concentrated on the Sith's movements. But she seemed to be handling herself as always.

I turned to Canderous who had his man pressed against the railing, fist to face, before punching him hard enough to send him flying over the edge. HK was firing at anything and everything that moved.

When the rest of the Sith were down, I turned back to Revan in time to see her kick her left foot out and knock the lightsaber out of last enemy's hand, and kicked it over the edge.

I aimed my blaster at the Sith's head, but she was already nearly on top of Revan. Canderous, HK and I kept our weapons pointed in her direction, for an open opportunity.

The Sith now had Revan by the wrists, trying to wrestle the lightsaber out of her hand.

Revan was finally able to push the assassin back far enough to regain her grip on her weapon, but before I knew what was happening, the opponent was running full force towards Revan again, a horrific growl escaping her throat.

"Revan!" I cried out, feeling my heart pound against my chest, as the Sith collided with Revan and both were pushed over the edge of the platform. "No!"

 

* * *

 

_-Meanwhile-_

  
  


Mission was alone in the Ebon Hawk, except for T3, pacing back and forth in the hangar bay. Zaalbar, Jolee, and Juhani were all out on the loading deck, helping the other Jedi.

 _I can't believe they all just left me here,_ she thought angrily, kicking over one of the many crates inside of the hanger bay. It fell to the ground with a clatter.

She stuck her blue nose up in the air. "And I'm not picking it up, either!" she yelled out, even though she knew no one could hear her.

Mission hadn't meant to be so cold towards Revan, and the look on her face nearly broke her heart. But she couldn't quite help the way she was feeling.

The last person who promised they'd returned ended up abandoning her. Mission was fairly sure that Revan wouldn't do that to her, and neither would Carth. However…

There was no guarantee that they would survive the Star Forge.

Revan and Carth were the closest she had ever had to parents. What would she do if something happened to them?

She shuddered at the thought. She had Big Z, of course, but now that Mission had become part of a somewhat dysfunctional family, that she loved, she wasn't about to let go of that now.

 _No,_ she thought, _I won't be left alone again._

Ignoring the little droid's protesting beeps; she quickly grabbed her blasters and her stealth field generator and attached them to her hip.

Taking a deep breath, she activated her stealth generator and, as quietly, and quickly, as she could, made her way off the ship and into the Star Forge.

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


Canderous, HK and I rushed over to the railing, my heart pounding so hard that I thought it might give out at any moment. I could feel tears sting my eyes. "Revan?"

Relief flowed through me when I reached the railing, and saw Revan's face staring back at me, a goofy grin spread across her face, even though her tiny arms were the only thing keeping her from falling to her death.

"Revan? What the hell are you doing?" I demanded.

Her grin widened. "Oh, just…you know. Hanging around," her grinned slowly disappeared. "A little help here, guys?"

Shaking our heads, Canderous and I gently grabbed each of her arms and lifted her back onto the platform. I wanted to laugh and shake her at the same time. "What the hell were you thinking?"

Revan shrugged. "Scold me later, Flyboy." She winked at me. "C'mon, guys. Let's get going."

 

* * *

 

We fought our way through wave after unending wave of assassins until we were finally able to get to a secure area, surrounded by numerous computer consoles and a cylinder container at the side of the room. "What is this place?" I asked, turning to Revan.

She didn't reply as she made her way over to the computer console. She glanced down at the screen, then at the cylinder, then back to the console again before she started typing something into the computer.

"What's she doin'?" Canderous asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

I shrugged, watching her as she moved around the area. "No idea."

A sudden noise distracted our attention from Revan and we turned to see the cylinder container in the corner open with a loud creaking sound.

Revan walked slowly over to it and reached inside, pulling out a long Jedi robe, identical to the own she had worn as Darth Revan. The only difference in them was, this one was white and minus a mask.

I frowned slightly as I watched her strip out of her normal robes, in front of Canderous and HK.

I glanced over at Canderous who was grinned and let out a low whistle as he watched her. "HK, record this."

I glared at the Mandalorian. "Don't even think about it, HK."

"Aggravated Statement: I really do wish you meatbags would make up your minds."

When Revan finally finished putting on the new robes, I turned to her. "What's with the robes, Gorgeous?"

She looked tired, almost sad, as she responded. "Well, for some reason, it seems when I put this programming into this system, I also programmed a light-side only robe generator. It increases defense and speed, more so than my other one." She shrugged. "It could help, it could not." She paused and looked me in the eye. "We'll see."

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


More Sith troopers were waiting for us on the platform. We fought through them as fast as we could; only taking a few minor wounds, which I healed quickly with the help of the Force.

The deeper we moved into the factory, the more nervous I became. The time for me to say goodbye to Carth, Canderous, and HK was drawing closer, and I wasn't looking forward to it. I knew this could very well be the last time I would see any of them again. But I had to do it. For their sake, and mine.

We fought another small group of Sith assassins that were guarding a large door at the end of the ramp. I could feel a very powerful presence, just beyond the door. It had to be Bastila.

Unconsciously, I reached out and touched Carth's hand. He looked over at me and smiled faintly and mouthed the words, "I love you."

I took a deep breath and stepped up to the door and turned t the guys. "This is where we part ways."

Carth lifted an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

I bit my lip, but tried to keep my voice steady and not let me emotions show. "You guys need to go back to the ship. I have to do this on my own."

Carth's jaw dropped. "You can't be serious."

"Dead serious."

He glared at me, his eyes hardening with anger. "That's not funny."

"I'm not trying to be funny,"

Canderous stepped up between us. "For once, I have to agree with Republic boy here. You can't make us bail out on you now."

I closed my eyes, reciting the Jedi Code over and over again, trying to keep my emotions in check. "Please. Just go."

"No!" Carth yelled, clenching his hands into a fist. "I'm not leaving you alone to die here!"

I was about to respond to him when the door slid open, catching us all off guard. Bastila was standing in the middle of the room.

An evil smile creased over her once pretty face. "Revan."

Before my companions could do anything, I threw them into a stasis, freezing them in place and slammed the door shut, and turned to face my former friend.


	34. Part Thirty-Four

_-Meanwhile-_

  
  


Jolee re-entered the Ebon Hawk with a tired sigh, running his calloused hands over his face. "I'm getting too old for this," he mumbled.

Something felt wrong. He couldn't quite pinpoint exactly what it was, but something was amiss. And this time, it wasn't Revan.

He wandered into the control room, hoping to find Mission, but finding the little astromech droid instead. Technology wasn't his forte, but decided to give it a shot. "T3, do you know where Mission is?"

The little droid whirled its head around, his optical lenses emitting a dark blue light and let out a low boop.

The old Jedi frowned. The kid had taken Revan's order to stay behind pretty hard. Revan, herself, didn't like the idea of the leaving the teenager behind, he knew, but it was for her own safety.

Jolee closed his eyes, reaching out with the Force to sense any organic life forms. He only felt the Cathar, who was mediating in the hangar bay.

"Blasted kid!" He cursed under his breath. "T3, do you think you can tap into the Star Forge's security cameras?"

Without a sound, T3 rolled past Jolee and probed the computer console. Within seconds, the little astromech had done it. Jolee watched as the viewscreen scanned through the various camera feeds from inside the Star Forge.

One feed caught his eye however, and he frowned. "Go back," he demanded of the droid. T3 did as he was asked. "Stop. There, zoom in."

His frown deepened as he saw the brief flash of blue again. Mission was inside the Star Forge, wearing her stealth field generator, which was, apparently, malfunctioning.

Jolee groaned. "Stubborn kid's gonna get herself killed."

Leaning closer, the old man noticed a dark figure that was coming closer to her, too close for comfort. "Watch it, kid."

As if on cue, the teenager's stealth generator betrayed her again, and the Sith wasted no time. Mission tried to reach for her blasters, but it was too late.

Even on the viewscreen, the brightness of the electricity emitted from the Sith hurt his eyes. Jolee felt the blood drain from his face as a sick feeling settled in his stomach as the tiny twi'lek slumped lifelessly to the floor.

She wasn't dead, that the old Jedi knew for certain. But she would be soon if he didn't do something. He rushed out of the room and jerked Juhani out of her meditation trance.

"What's going on?" Juhani asked, her eyes wide with concern as Jolee pulled her down the ship's loading ramp.

"C'mon. Mission's in trouble."

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


As soon as the stasis field wore off, I rushed towards the door, pounding on it furiously, and tried to pry it open. "Revan! Open the blasted door!"

"Move it, Republic!" I heard Canderous call out.

I turned to see him raise his repeater rifle and aimed for the keypad. "Oh shit," I jumped out of the way just as he pulled the trigger.

The keypad sizzled after the impact of the shot, but the door still wouldn't open. "She must have put some sort of Jedi force field on it," Canderous commented.

"Ya think?" I asked sarcastically, running a nervous hand through my hair. "What the hell is she doing?"

"Playing the martyr," Canderous snapped, wiping the sweat off of his face. "What do we do now?"

I stared at the door, feeling completely useless as fear seethed through me. Revan could handle Bastila, I knew. But I also knew she wouldn't kill her. She would die first before she allowed that to happen.

And that was exactly what I was afraid of.

"Go back to the Hawk. Help the others. I'm going to try to find another way in there." I ordered.

The Mandalorian frowned. "And miss all of the action? I don't think so, Republic."

I shook my head, but before I could respond my comm went off and Jolee's terrified voice came through. "Onasi, we've got problems."

I snorted. "Tell me about it. Revan's locked us out and she's about to battle Bastila again."

Jolee was silent for a moment. He sighed. "Revan can handle herself. Right now, we have an even bigger problem. Mission's on the Star Forge and she's been captured."

 _Mission._ I felt my heart stop. Mission had become like a daughter to me, and I wasn't about to lose the two most important women in my life. Somehow, however, it didn't surprise me that the stubborn teen didn't listen to Revan and me. I would have laughed at how alike she and Revan were, if the situation wasn't so dire. I gulped hard. "Is she…is she okay?"

"I don't know," was all the old man said. "She's alive, for now." The old Jedi sounded as if he were on the verge of tears. "We may need backup."

"One sec," I turned to Canderous. "If you want action, go help them save Mission."

Ordo grimaced. "I'm not a babysitter."

I grabbed the front of his armor and got right into his face, even though he towered over me. "Listen you piece of bantha shit," I spat out angrily. "Go help them or so help me I will kill you! And if I don't, if anything should happen to that girl, Revan will kill you herself.”

Canderous growled and pushed me off of him roughly. "I'm impressed, Republic." The corners of his mouth twitched upwards as he extended his hand to me. "Go get your Jedi."

I shook his hand. "Good luck."

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


I took a deep breath and turned towards Bastila.

"Revan," the younger woman sneered at me. "I knew you'd come for me."

I took a cautious step towards her. "I'll never give up on you, Bastila. I know there is still good in you."

Bastila laughed mirthlessly as she unclipped her lightsaber from her belt. "You're wasting your time. I have seen the Jedi for what they are: weak and afraid. The Sith are the true Masters of the Force. You've forgotten that lesson, Revan."

The ex-Jedi ignited her lightsaber; the crimson light emitted from it cast an eerie glow over the dark room and over Bastila's white as snow skin. "Now you must pay the price. Here on the Star Forge the power of the dark side is at its strongest. This time, you will not defeat me!"

I called my lightsaber to my hand in time to deflect her attack, sparks flying off of the weapons as they made contact. Bastila struck hard, almost causing me to lose my balance.

I kept my eyes focused on Bastila's movements, but I refused to strike her, if I had the choice. Only hitting her when I absolutely had to.

I called upon the Force and tossed Bastila back a couple of feet. Anger twisted her pretty features as she moved forward again, sending her elbow out to make contact with my nose.

I ducked in time to parry her blow, catching her arm and twisting it behind her back. I kicked out with my right leg. I heard a sickening crack as my foot smacked into the bend of her knee.

Bastila stumbled forward, resting her hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath, but keeping her eyes on me, waiting for me to attack her.

"I see now why Malak followed you. Even though you are only a shell of your former self, you are still a formidable opponent. I can't even imagine the power you must have wielded when you were the Dark Lord," her voice held a sense of longing that scared me. "You were a fool to give it up and follow the _light_ side."

I fought the urge to cry. _Was this how I was when I fell?_ "I am as strong in the light as I ever was following the dark side. Anyone who falls under the pressure of the dark side could be considered weak. I was." I tried to hide the uncertainty in my voice.

Bastila laughed that cruel, humorless laugh. "The dark side has made me stronger that I ever was before! I have a greater command of the Force than all but the most powerful Jedi Masters." She stood again and straightened her back, wincing at the pain. "As Malak teaches me the greatest secrets of the Sith, I will unlock more of my potential. Eventually, there will be no limit to what I can accomplish with the Force!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Do you hear yourself? Malak will never let you become that powerful," I commented softly. "He'll kill you first."

The brown haired woman rolled her eyes. "Have you forgotten the ways of the Sith already, Revan?"

I shrugged. "I guess that I have. Enlighten me."

"Eventually, I will challenge my Master. If I am worthy, he will die by my hand and I will become the new Sith Master. Then I will take on my own apprentice and the cycle will begin again." She stated matter-of-factly. "This is the way of the Sith. It is how we assure our leaders are always the strongest and most worthy."

I feigned a look of being impressed. "Learned a lot under my former apprentice, have we?" I sighed, and gestured around us. "Bastila, look what you're doing, you're dooming yourself to a life of endless death and betrayal!"

The younger woman's eyes darkened with anger and hated. "No, Revan. It is you who are doomed!"

Bastila Force jumped, bringing her lightsaber out in front of her. I locked my legs firmly in place and prepared for her attack. I twisted my body away from her as her weapon grazed my thigh. I cried out in pain.

"You are growing weary, I can sense it. Your strength falters. The light side is failing you while the power of the Star Forge re-energizes me. Soon this will all be over."

I tossed my lightsaber to the ground and stared my friend in the eye. "Then strike me down, Bastila. I will not defend myself."

Bastila's face twisted in confusion. "What kind of trick is this?"

I stood straight, ignoring the pain in my leg, trying my best to keep my nervousness in check. Here I was, fighting my former friend for the same purpose that we were fighting against. This must have been the biggest ironic scene in the galaxy. _This must be what I get for mocking her with her dark side speeches._ Karma is a cruel, cruel thing indeed. "You are not evil, Bastila. You will not strike down a defenseless opponent."

My friend clenched her fists in frustration. "I am a Sith apprentice now. You place too much faith in what I used to be…and for that, you shall pay!"


	35. Part Thirty-Five

_-Meanwhile-_

  
  


Mission slowly regained consciousness, several hours later, feeling as if she had been trampled by a pack of wild banthas. Her arms and legs felt heavy, and she was having a hard time trying to pry her eyes open. The pain that shot through her entire body was excruciating.

After several failed attempts, she finally managed to lift her heavy lids. Her eyes began to sting fiercely, causing her to close them again immediately. _Where am I?_

Then, suddenly, she remembered. She was having a hard time getting her stealth generator to stay functional. She remembered the footsteps that had been following her since the moment she had entered the Star Forge. Then the pain…the horrible, agonizing pain. At first, she couldn't breathe; it felt as if her lungs were in a vice.

Mission would have preferred that to what happened next. It seemed to happen in slow motion. It felt like the Sith was actually _stealing_ her energy. She could feel it being taken from her slowly, and painfully.

The twi'lek, eyes still closed, slowly lifted her arms out in front of her. Her hands slid across the smooth wall of her enclosure. A kolto tank. _That explains the stinging. Open your eyes, Mission. Just do it!_

She ignored the pain and forced her eyes to adjust to the harsh lights of the room. Her tank was surrounded by others identical to hers, each containing a body. A medbay? No. The kolto tanks were the only things in the room that even resembled a medical facility. The rest of the room was bare, except for a large, enclosed room at the far corner of the room.

Mission's eyes focus on the closest tank to hers. Her eyes widened. A man in a brown robe similar to the ones Revan wore. A Jedi. She squinted her eyes to try to make out the readings on the life support system that was hooked up to the body.

He was alive, barely, hanging on to a very thin thread. Mission reckoned that most of the other bodies were in the same condition. _Why am I alive then? What's so different about me?_

She turned her attention forward and would have screamed had it not been for the breathing mask that was secured tightly across her mouth.

Malak was standing directly in front of her tank, glaring at her with an evil hunger in his eyes. Mission could tell by the way his chest heaved that he was laughing.

"You're brave, small one. You came to try to 'rescue' your good friend, Revan, right?" His laughing increased as Mission pounded her fists on the glass. "Am I to understand that _she_ would not be very pleased if something happened to you?"

Mission glared at the man before her. So, he was using her to get to Revan. The no good son of a…

Malak clenched his fist and Mission felt her airway being closed again. She thrashed about in the kolto, clawing at her throat.

He finally released her and brought his face even closer to the tank. "Don't worry, Blue, you'll see Revan soon enough. In fact, you'll probably be the last one to see her alive."

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


Bastila came rushing towards me at blurring speed. I dropped to the ground, sending my leg to collide with her ankles, sending her sprawling backwards onto her back.

Quickly, I called my lightsaber to my hand again just as Bastila tackled me, her own weapon only inches from my throat. I held onto her wrist firmly, using more strength than I wanted to admit, to keep her from ending my life right then.

I somehow managed to push her back far enough to send my feet into her stomach and flying over me. I scrambled to my feet and ignited my lightsaber. The wound she had put in my thigh ached painfully, but I forced myself to ignore it as we circled each other. Bastila was right, I was getting tired.

Bastila recovered and advanced on me again, her eyes glaring with pure hatred. Our lightsabers clashed together, sparks flying out in every direction.

I ducked as she swung her weapon at my head, and spun my body around to catch hers. I raised my hand in attempt to Force push her again, but apparently, she had the same idea.

The impact sent us both flying in opposite directions. I hit the wall hard, the breath knocked completely from my lungs. The room was spinning and I couldn't tell exactly where Bastila was.

After I regained control of my breathing, I stood up, shaking my head, trying to force my surroundings to sit still. I looked over to see Bastila attempted to pull herself to her feet, clutching her side.

"No," she gasped out. "This is impossible. You have rejected the dark side. You are a weak and pathetic servant of the light. How can you still stand against me? Why can't I defeat you?"

Limping, I moved a little closer to her, cautiously. "Now you see that the dark side is not stronger than the light."

Bastila sighed, and winced at the growing pain in her side. I looked down to see a piece of metal sticking out from under her robes, the blood slowly seeping out and staining her fingers. She made no move to heal it herself.

"Yes, I see you speak the truth. I am no match for you." Finally, she met my eyes and sank down to her knees. "Please, for the sake of what we once shared, do not make me suffer. End my life quickly. There is no way."

I looked at my friend sadly. "I won't kill you, Bastila."

The younger woman frowned. "What other choice do you have? I have fallen to the dark side. I am the apprentice to the Dark Lord himself! You cannot let me live!"

"I rejected the dark side, Bastila. You can, too." I told her softly. I wanted nothing more than to rush over to her and ease her pain. But I couldn't, not yet. She was still too consumed by the dark side, even though there were signs of her old self returning slowly.

Bastila shook her head. "No, I am not strong enough. There is too much anger inside me now. Too much hate and fear. I can no longer find peace in the Force."

I took another tentative step towards her. "There is no emotion…"

Bastila raised her eyebrows at me, but said nothing. Her face was beginning to pale even more from the loss of blood. My heart began to beat faster. I had to do this quickly or she would bleed out. I wasn't about to lose her when I was so close.

"Come on, Princess. Humor me. Recite the code with me."

Despite herself, she chuckled lightly at my use of her old nickname. _Come on, Bastila. I know you're still in there. Just a little more._

"I doubt mere words can help me now," she looked up at me again and sighed. "But to appease you, I shall recite them. There is no emotion. There is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity…" she shook her head and smiled slightly. "Strange, but even now I find comfort in these words. I…suppose old habits die hard." She paused for a moment and finished the code. "There is no death, there is the Force. Thank you, Revan. I am ready to face my fate now."

I was standing right in front of her now. I knelt down in front of her and took her hand, sending a little bit of the Force into her to ease a bit of the pain. "Look into your heart, Bastila, and you will find the light. It's still in there."

Bastila frowned and wrenched her hand free from my grasp. I stood quickly and backed away.

"There is nothing in my heart but the blackness of the dark side. I am sick of your preaching, Revan! I ask you for an honorable death, but you are too weak to even grant me that! No more words! This must end in blood!"

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


I was beginning to lose hope. There was only one other door that led into the room that Revan and Bastila were in. I could hear the fighting, off and on. Now, however, I heard nothing. My heart began to pound in my ears. _What if Bastila killed her?_

No. I couldn’t accept that. And I wouldn't falter, wouldn't stop looking for a way to get to her.

I was startled from my thoughts by my comm going off. "Onasi," I answered.

"Carth," Jolee's voice was a bit muffled by static. "Have you seen HK anywhere?"

Frowning, I looked around. I had completely forgotten about that walking, psychotic trash compactor. "No, he's not with Canderous?"

"Negative. The Mandalorian assumed he was still there with you, protecting his master."

"I haven't seen him since Revan locked us out," I said, with more than a hint of anger. "I swear that woman is going to be the death of me yet."

Jolee chuckled on the other end. "Any luck finding a way inside?"

I rolled my eyes. "If I had, would I be standing here talking to you?"

"Fair enough."

I was about to kill the connection when I heard some kind of commotion coming through Jolee's end. "Jolee? What's going on?"

After a few moments of silence, Jolee finally answered. "Okay, I've got some good news, and some bad news."

I groaned as I raked a hand through my hair and quickly glanced around me to make sure I wasn't going to be attacked while just standing here. "Is there any other kind? Give me the good news first."

"Good news is we found HK – "

I snorted. "That's good news? He could have stayed lost for all I care."

"Shush! The bad news is that Malak seems to have constructed some sort of death trap for Revan."

"You mean besides the assault droids, the hoards of cold-blooded Sith assassins trying to kill us?" I asked dryly.

"Would you shut up and listen to an old man? Sheesh," the old Jedi mumbled. "Damn kids." He paused. "Anyway, as I was saying, Malak seems to have constructed a droid re-spawn machine. It dispenses about eight droids at a time, and once one is defeated, another one takes its place, each are set to target and destroy Revan on sight." The old man informed me.

I frowned. "How's that possible?"

"Apparently, Revan's medical credentials are still in the Star Forge's computer system. They're tracking her through the life support system. HK's currently trying to break into the mainframe to disable the droids."

I swallowed hard, panic searing through me. "And if he can't?"

Jolee sighed dramatically. "Then the droids will just keep coming in unending waves until she just tires out and they kill her."

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


Bastila caught me off guard with a hard, swift kick to my already injured thigh, followed by a powerful force-filled push. I tried my best to regain my balance, but my foot twisted painfully when it made contact with the metal flooring.

I attempted to use the Force to try to heal myself, but my powers were spent. I inhaled sharply and looked up to see Bastila walking towards me slowly. I suddenly couldn't breathe.

I felt myself being lifted off the ground as I gasped for breath. "Bastila…please…"

The younger woman averted her eyes away from me. "You wouldn't give me an honorable death, Revan. Now I will end both of our lives."

Hot tears sprang to my eyes as I continued to struggle for air. I could feel consciousness fading away quickly. I was too exhausted to call upon the Force for help. It couldn't end like this.

Bastila's eyes met mine briefly. There were tears in her eyes as well. It was almost as if it pained her to hurt me. I could feel the conflict within her.

I had to think of something quick, but my mind was beginning to cloud over. My eyes threatened to close. But then, finally, it hit me.

She had tried to use my love for Carth against me on the Rakatan temple to tempt me to the dark side. Maybe I could attempt the same thing to bring her back. I didn't have enough energy to try to pull off the trick, so simple words would have to do for now.

"Bastila…what…would…your father…say…" I managed to gasp out.

The grip Bastila had on my life loosened and I dropped to the ground with a painful thud, I inhaled greedily for air.

Bastila gripped the sides of her head, pulling at her thick brown hair as she dropped to her knees. She looked up at me, her face drenched in tears. "What have I done?"

My throat ached painfully as my lungs attempted to re-inflate themselves. "It's okay," I said gently, my voice rasped painfully. "Please, Bastila. Make your father proud and help us defeat Malak and the Sith."

Bastila nodded slowly. "Yes, I could join you in your battle against the Dark Lord. That alone will not make up for all that I have done, yet…it would be a step in the right direction." She glanced up at me with heavy eyes. "But how would you be able to trust me? How do you know that I won't turn on you when you face Malak? How do you know the dark side wouldn't make me betray you again?"

I smiled faintly at her. I could sense more of her old self returning. "I trust you enough to leave myself open to your attack. "

She looked at me dubiously. "You play a dangerous game. Are you certain you wish to take that risk? I could end your life and gain Malak's favor with a single stroke of my lightsaber."

"I know you, Bas. You won't."

A faint smile spread on her lips. "You are brave…and some would say foolish." She sighed. "But you are also right. The dark side has not wholly consumed me. I cannot raise my blade against you."

I chuckled slightly. "Again, you mean?"

Her smile vanished quickly. "I am truly sorry, Revan. I thank you, for what you have done for me. I'm not sure I could have done the same, had the situation been reversed."

"If you'll recall, my friend, you already did. Long ago, when you rescued me from the dark side," I grinned. "I suppose we're even now."

I limped my way over to her and gingerly inserted a med pack into her side. Although exhausted, I used my remaining energy to use the Force to heal her along with the kolto. She, in turn, turned to me and healed my own injuries.

"You should probably stay here," I said quietly.

She nodded again. "I agree. If we face Malak I am afraid that that his dark presence will overwhelm me. It would not be wise to expose myself to such temptation."

I thought for a moment. "You could use your battle meditation to aid the Republic and help us win this war."

She sighed. "Yes, that would be for the best. You don't need me to face Malak anyway. Now I understand that a true Jedi is no match for any Sith, even the Dark Lord himself." She stood again, on shaky legs. "I will stay here in this chamber and aide the Republic fleet. I am their only hope of destroying the Star Forge and the Sith menace." She turned back to me. "You must go and face Malak, but you must hurry. Once I turn the battle in the Republic's favor, we won't have much time to escape before it is destroyed."

Bastila walked back over to me and embraced me. "Good luck, and may the Force be with you."

I smiled. "You too, my friend."

I turned away to leave the chambers as Bastila knelt down in position, when she turned her head to me again. "Revan?"

I stopped and turned around. "Yes?"

"Thank you."


	36. Part Thirty-Six

_-Carth-_

  
  


I raced to meet up with Jolee and the rest of the crew. Jolee hadn't been kidding. Jolee, Juhani, and Canderous were all battling assault droids left and right. HK-47 was at a nearby computer console.

Canderous turned as I entered. "Bout time you showed up, Republic. A little help would be nice."

I quickly pulled my blasters from the holsters and began firing as rapidly as I could. Several of the droids went down, but as soon as they did, more would regenerate in their place. _If I survive this, I'm going to have the biggest headache._

"How's it coming over there, HK?" I heard Jolee ask as he sliced through another droid.

"Irritated Threat: If you don't stop hounding me, wrinkled meatbag, I'll be corrupting your data next."

The old Jedi wiped sweat from his forehead. "Don't sass me, you walking junk pile. Hurry up and get those blasted files corrupted or I'll see to it personally that as soon as we're off this rust bucket, you'll be thrown out of the airlock."

"Amused Query: Wouldn't it be more logical to just _leave_ me here to be destroyed along with this space station?"

Jolee turned quickly to penetrate his lightsaber into another droid. "Good idea." He groaned as a droid barreled into him, sending him backwards. "I'm getting too old for this."

"Would you two shut the hell up for five seconds?" Canderous yelled as he body-slammed into the droid he was fighting. "You bicker back and forth almost as much as Revan and Republic."

"Thanks," I said dryly, pausing only briefly to reload.

Juhani nodded. "For once, I must agree with the Mandalorian. We have bigger issues to deal with at the moment. Mission is in danger and we must get those droids disabled before Revan walks in here."

Finally, HK managed to get the droids and the machines offline. The ones we were battling at the moment slumped lifelessly to the floor and the dispensers snapped and hissed, causing thick, black smoke to fill the room.

"Good job, HK." I said, waving my hand in front of my face to keep the smoke out. I turned to Jolee and Juhani. "Where can we find Mission?"

The Jedi both closed their eyes, trying to sense the whereabouts of our young friend. Jolee suddenly frowned and turned to the Cathar. "I can't feel her anymore, can you?"

Sadly, Juhani shook her head. "No, I cannot."

Panic raced through me. Quickly, I jogged over to where HK had recently been standing, in front of the computer console. "I'll try to bring up a camera feed."

I began running through the various camera feeds throughout the space station. One image made me stop however. _Revan?_

Revan and Bastila were standing in front of each other. Not fighting. I frowned as Bastila turned her back to Revan and knelt to the floor. _What's going on?_

I felt a hand rest on my shoulder and turned to see Jolee standing next to me, a smile plastered on his face. "Your girl did it."

I cocked an eyebrow at him, confused. "Did what?"

The old Jedi rolled his eyes. "Are you really that daft? She turned Bastila back to the light side. She's using her Battle Meditation to aid the Republic."

A triumphant smile slowly spread across my face. _She did it._ I pounded a fist on the computer console excitedly. "She did it!"

"Don't get too cocky, Republic." Canderous stated, crossing his arms over his chest. "She still has to face Malak and we still have to find Mission."

The excitement I felt disappeared quickly and I turned back to the console, continuing my search through the cameras.

"Stop there," Juhani said, peering over my shoulder. "Can you get closer?"

"I think so," I replied uncertainly. I moved the camera angle and zoomed in as much as I could. My heart stopped.

Mission was in some sort of kolto tank, looking incredibly scared. There were several identical tanks around her. The next thing my eyes settled on caused anger and rage to race through my veins.

Malak.

The Sith Lord was standing before a large window, watching the battle over-head. "Malak has Mission." I sneered through clenched teeth.

Before I could say anything else, a cloaked figure entered the room. The wavy dark hair was enough for me to identify her.

Revan.

Revan was with Malak.

 _This had been a trap. Malak knew that she would have back up, so he set this up to get us out of the way,_ I mused. Unable to control my fear and anger, I pushed past the rest of the crew and rushed towards the door.

Jolee called out to me, but I ignored him. "Go back to the Hawk," I yelled to them. "This just became personal."

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


The fear didn't settle in completely until after I had left Bastila. Time was running out. I had to get to Malak fast before the Republic's assaults began to tear apart the Star Forge. While I was still on it.

Not that it really mattered, not really. I had a feeling I wasn't going to live much longer than Malak. It was the way it should end. Sith Lord verses the redeemed ex-Sith Lord, Master verses apprentice; a battle to the death.

It would be the perfect ending to the disaster that was my life. I would finally give all of those people I had harmed so long ago some sort of closure. Darth Revan and Darth Malak would finally be dead, and the galaxy could rest in peace.

At least until another Sith Lord takes reign and follows in our footsteps.

Our deaths wouldn't bring back the lives we had taken from the millions of innocent people, but maybe, just maybe, the heavy burden that we had placed on the galaxy's shoulders would finally be lifted.

I shook my head and allowed my thoughts to drift briefly to Carth. I would probably never see him again. I felt my heart tighten in my chest. I wanted nothing more than to run back to the Hawk, have him wrap his arms around me and just hold me. In his strong arms was the only place I felt safe.

I wanted to kick myself for the way I just pushed Carth and Canderous away, without a goodbye. That was probably the last time I would ever set eyes on them, and I used the Force against them. _To protect them,_ I tried to convince myself.

I couldn't quite explain my feelings at this point. How do you explain the feelings you're having when you're about to die? It wasn't the death itself that I was afraid of, not really. It was the fate of my companions that I was more worried about.

I didn't want to think about what would happen to Carth if I fell here. Carth or Mission. They were such a huge part of my life now. They were strong, and I knew that they would eventually carry on when my life ended.

I just hoped that everyone else made it off this space station unharmed. And I was going to do my damnedest to make sure that when I fell, Malak was going down with me.

My hand shook as I used the Force and opened the door. The harsh light was the only thing I saw at first. I gripped the hilt of my lightsaber and waited for my eyes to adjust to the invading light.

Fear and anger shot through me when I felt Malak's presence in the room. I couldn’t see him, however. But there was also another presence that I had not been expecting.

My eyes quickly darted over to where the aura was coming from. My heart leapt to my throat and my entire body began to tremble.

"Mission…"

Mission's eyes slowly opened and they focused on me. The terror in her eyes tore me apart. I started to rush towards her when that all too familiar mechanical laughter filled the air.


	37. Part Thirty-Seven

_-Carth-_

  
  


Sneaking into Malak's chambers wouldn't work. Both he and Revan would sense me immediately. I didn't want to throw Revan off; this was her fight after all. I was just there to make sure she and Mission stayed alive.

If I could even manage to keep myself alive, that is.

I could hear voices ahead of me. My hands instinctively went to my blasters and ripped them from the holsters. I couldn't quite hear what the voices were saying, but one of them was definitely female.

Slowly, I rounded the corner, blaster raised, my back pressed tightly against the wall. I peered around and found the owners of the voices and immediately I felt sick to my stomach.

"Well done, Revan. I was certain that the defenses of the Star Forge would destroy you, but I see there is more of your old self in you than I expected."

I watched at Revan turned towards Malak. She made no move for her lightsaber. She simply stared at him; pure hatred nestled into her eyes. I could vaguely see the shiver that ran down her spine.

Malak took a few steps closer to her, but he was nowhere near strike range. But I wasn't going to underestimate him. He could use the Force and be on Revan in less than a second. My trigger finger was itching quite badly to just shoot him in the head and end it.

But this was Revan's chance at a complete redemption. I wasn't going to deprive her of that. No matter how bad I wanted to kill him myself.

"You are stronger than I thought; stronger than you ever were during your reign as the Dark Lord. I did not think that was possible." Malak continued, his hand dangling dangerously close to the hilt of his lightsaber.

Revan didn't take her eyes off of him. "You underestimate the power of the light side, Malak." She paused, adding: "You always did." Not without a hint of sadness in her voice.

The way Malak's eyes slanted, I could tell he would have been smiling a hideous grin if he had a jaw. "I am tempted to capture you alive, Revan. Then I could break your will and bind you to me as my apprentice, as I did Bastila."

 _Over my dead body,_ I thought angrily. I watched as Revan's body tensed. Had she sensed me? Had she read my thoughts?

If she did, she made no acknowledgment of me. "You can surrender now, Malak. Perhaps if you do, the Jedi Council and the Republic might be lenient towards you."

The Sith Lord ignored her comment and began to pace, never taking eyes off of Revan, eyeing her as if she were some trophy. I became more than a little angry the way his eyes traveled down the length of her body; I had to stop myself from running the rest of the way into the room.

I glanced over at Mission's kolto tank at the other side of the room. She hadn't noticed me either. Her eyes were fixed on Revan and Malak, her eyes wide with fear. I was torn between trying to help Revan, and rescuing Mission.

Revan, of course, would want me to focus on Mission's safety, and I knew I should. But my mind and my heart were waging a constant battle. If I took my eyes off Revan, Malak could kill her with a single blow. I didn't want to watch another woman that I loved die by the hands of this monster.

So I decided to wait. Wait until either combatant made the first move, so that they would be too distracted in their fight to bother with me. I didn't like waiting.

"Perhaps you are too powerful to be my apprentice. I betrayed you when I realized my own strength was greater than yours; in time you might do the same to me."

Revan's eyes narrowed. "I will _never_ serve the dark side again, Malak."

Malak chuckled. "Foolish words. The darkness and the light wage a constant battle within you. The balance is tipped one was now, but it can easily be tipped back. I saw you back on Korriban, when you discovered your old lightsaber within the tomb of Naga Sadow."

"I knew it smelled bad in there for a reason."

Malak frowned, and somehow his voice gained even more venom. "Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all of these things Revan…and yet you are _nothing_. In the end, you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone."

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


I allowed myself to give a glance towards Mission, who was staring back at me, wide-eyed in terror. I was going to have to end this quickly to be able to save her. I knew Carth was in the room somewhere, planning to rush to her aid, but I couldn’t see him, and I hoped he would change his mind. I didn't need more bodies added to the pile of millions I had already killed. Let alone the lives of two of the people I love most. "I believe in the power of redemption."

Malak laughed evilly. "Of course. What else do you have? Fate and destiny have conspired to keep you alive despite my best efforts; they have thrust you into the role of savior.

"We have been inexorably pushed into this final confrontation," Malak continued, taking several steps closer to me. "I see now that this can only be settled when one of us destroys the other."

I turned my attention back to my former friend and lover. "It doesn't have to be this way, Malak. I was redeemed. You can be, too. If you want it."

The Sith Lord's eyes burned with hatred. "Spare me your preaching, Revan. I have no need for it. We shall face each other in single combat…and the victor will decide the fate of the galaxy!"

Without warning, Malak ignited his lightsaber and charged me. I called my lightsaber to my hand quickly and intercepted his deadly blows. His crimson red lightsaber clashing against my blue one, causing sparks to fly in every direction.

Malak's face was only inches from mine as he tried to push his weapon against mine. My back cracked in protest as it arched backwards. "I will break you," he hissed.

I heard Carth move from his corner and move towards Mission's kolto tank. But I had to keep my attention focused on Malak. I couldn't let my friends distract me. I had to finish this now before more innocent blood, the blood of my friends, was shed.

I ducked another fatal blow and sent my lightsaber towards my former apprentice, grazing his calf. Malak grunted in pain and quickly moved away from me in a blur of movement.

I suddenly had the air knocked out of me as I was pushed backwards with invisible force as my back hit the hard, metal flooring.

I felt a pair of hands quickly grab my waist and pull me up. "Where is he?" I heard Carth ask. "Are you okay?"

I glanced around the room, but found no trace of Malak. I heard, however, a strange noise coming from the top platform. I turned to Carth. "Get out of here. Now."

Carth frowned and gripped my shoulders. "No! I'm not leaving you and Mission."

I closed my eyes. _There is no emotion. There is peace._ "Carth, you need to leave. I can't risk losing you and Mission." I snapped and turned my back to him.

He gripped my shoulder gently and turned me back around to face him. "And we can't afford to lose _you_." He looked at my sternly and lowered his voice. "I'm not leaving without you."

I could hear the sounds of footsteps coming towards us. Frantically, I shook my head. "Fine, stay if you want. But please, if you love me, stay out of the way." I hissed, but softened my voice at the hurt look on Carth's face, and hugged him to me. "I _can’t_ lose you."

Suddenly, Carth was wrenched from my grasp. He was floating out of my reach, clawing at his throat. I whirled around and saw Malak coming towards us again; all of his wounds completely healed and his power had completely regenerated.

I glared angrily at him. "Let him go, Malak. This is between you and me. Leave my friends out of this."

The Sith Lord laughed evilly. "As you wish, _Revan."_ He snarled, throwing him into Mission's kolto tank. I watched in horror as the glass around the young twi'lek shattered and Carth's motionless body landed in a pile of blood and broken glass. Mission landed, unconscious on top of him.

I tried to send the Force to heal them, but Malak stopped me. "You continue to amaze me, Revan. If only you had been the one to uncover the true power of the Star Forge you might have become invincible. But you were a fool. All you saw was an enormous factory – all you ever imagined was an infinite fleet rolling forth to crush the Republic. You were blind, Revan – blind and stupid."

I frowned, confused and more than a little angry. "What are you talking about?"

"The Star Forge is more than just a space station. In some ways, it's almost like a living creature. I'm sure you could feel the dark side calling to you. It hungers. And it can feed on the darkness that is within us all."

Malak gestured around the massive room. "Look around you, Revan. See the bodies? You should recognize them from the Academy. These are the Jedi who fell when I attacked Dantooine. For all intents and purposes, dead. Except for one difference – I have not allowed them to become one with the Force. Instead, I have brought them here. The Star Forge corrupts what remains of their power and transfers the dark taint to me."

I felt the hope of defeating Malak begin to dwindle. Unless I could find a way to disable what he had done to these poor men and woman, my fellow Jedi, he would keep reenergizing himself until I was too weak to fight him.

I was going to fail the Republic. Fail the galaxy.

Fail Carth. Fail Mission.

"You cannot beat me, Revan. Not here on the Star Forge. Not when I can draw upon the power of all these Jedi! And once you are beaten, I will do the same to you. You will be trapped in a terrible existence between life and death, your power fueling me as I conquer the galaxy!"

This was not going to end well. I could already feel my energy and Force power deteriorate. I was tired. I wanted this to be over and go back to the Hawk and take a nice, long nap.

But it appeared that that wasn't in the cards. I was either going to defeat Malak and rescue my friends before the Republic began to bombard the Star Forge, or I was going to die here and fail at everything that I had worked so damned hard for.

I wouldn't be responsible for any more deaths after this. I had too many people counting on me. The fate of the entire galaxy rest in my hands, and it was quite a heavy burden.

It would have been so much easier to just give in to Malak and become his apprentice. But I would rather him strike me down now than to go that route again.

I couldn't let it happen. I had to put a stop to this, and I was determined that if I was going down, I would be taking Malak with me.

And that is exactly what I planned on doing.

I reignited my lightsaber and rushed towards Malak. This was going to end now.

No matter what happened.


	38. Part Thirty-Eight

_-Revan-_

  
  


I watched in horror as Carth fought for breath, clawing at his throat as Malak lifted him into the air. I felt my heart stop when his face turned a deep shade of red and his struggling slowed. I whirled to face Malak. "Let him go! This is between you and me."

Malak's sinister laugh sent a chill down my spine. "As you wish, _Revan_." He hissed as he threw his arm out, and in doing so, sending Carth's lifeless body into Mission's kolto tank. The glass surrounding Mission shattered and she landed on top of Carth at an impossible angle.

I felt my stomach lurch, and had to fight myself to keep down the bile that was rising in my throat. I turned and faced Malak again; anger and the Force swirling around me in a maelstrom of pure power.

I rushed Malak, sending my lightsaber crashing into his with all the strength that I would muster. He caught each blow effortlessly, a glint in his eyes that revealed his amusement at my futile attacks. I kept my gaze glued to his, my mind focused on each minuscule twitch of muscle that telegraphed his next move.

But my heart was a different story. I wanted to run back to Carth and Mission and make sure that they were safe, but I couldn't. If I allowed myself to succumb to my emotions for even a moment, then I would surely lose this battle and there would be no hope for the Republic, for the Jedi, or more importantly, my friends.

I could feel the dark side of the Force pounding against my ears, like a living thing, calling out to me to use its power and end this battle once and for all. That all it would take for me to kill him was a gentle release, and Malak's life would be rendered forfeit in a moment.

But I didn't want to do that. I had worked too hard, for too long to stay on my path of the light, and I intended to stay on that path. If only I could master the knowledge of combining the dark side of the Force and the light…maybe…

I cried out in pain as Malak's elbow crashed into my nose, fragile cartilage shattering under the impact. I stumbled backwards as the taste of iron filled my mouth, temporarily losing my balance from the force of the blow.

He took the opportunity to send his boot into my chest, knocking the breath out of me and sending me sliding across the durasteel on my back. He was on me in an instant, 'saber close enough to tickle my throat and burn the sensitive skin on my face. My lightsaber was the only thing protecting me from certain death.

His eyes bore into me, radiating pure hatred and a hunger for my blood sprayed across the floor. I wasn't going to be able to defeat him, I thought despairingly as Malak shifted his weight so it was all on me. My body screamed in pain from the impact of the fall and my shattered nose as I struggled to catch my breath, part of me willing myself to give up and let the force take me.

Needless to say, the outcome of this fight wasn't looking too bright.

 

* * *

 

_-Mission-_

  
  


I could barely move, and my body stung from the splinters of glass that bit into my hands as I pushed myself off of large bulk underneath me. It grunted in protest. Startled, I shook my head and tried to focus my eyes.

Terror ripped through my when I realized that object was Carth. His ragged breathing and the blood leaking from his temple brought tears to my eyes.

Quickly, I searched his pockets and, luckily, I found three kolto packs and immediately injected them into his side. As I did so, I spared a glance at the battle going on around us. Malak had Revan pinned to the ground, his lightsaber dangerously close to her throat.

I tore my eyes away from the scene, unable to watch my friend die at the hands of that monster. I injected another kolto pack into Carth's side. "Come on, Geezer, come on! Revan needs you, so wake up, bantha brain!"

I got no response. At least he was alive and breathing. That was something at least. But what was going to happen if Revan couldn't get away from Malak? I shuddered at the various scenarios.

I had come here to help Revan under any circumstances, and that was still the game plan. The problem? Malak had taken all of my weapons upon my capture.

The pain I was in was immense, and as I shifted my weight off of Carth, something sharp nudged my leg. I looked down to see Carth's blaster, still clutched in his hands. I glanced quickly at Revan and Malak. He still had her pinned to the floor, his lightsaber inching closer as she desperately fought to free herself.

Thinking quickly, I grabbed Carth's blaster and aimed it towards the Sith Lord. His attention was completely focused on Revan. As long as they stayed in that position, I could get a clear shot at him without harming her.

My entire body trembled uncontrollably as I gripped the blaster firmly in my hand. _Concentrate, Mish,_ I told myself. _Rev's counting on you._

Just as I was about to take my shot, in a blinding move that would've made Master Zhar proud, Revan bucked once and managed to roll out from underneath Malak's massive weight, catching him off guard with the sudden loss of support.

The Sith Lord growled angrily and pounced again, almost like that rancor that we fought back when... _Ouch!_ I winced as Revan's battered body hit the metal floor hard, as Malak pinned her down for the second time. At this rate, I wouldn't be able to get a clear shot without accidentally hitting her.

A moan from underneath me startled me so much that the weapon slipped from my fingers and clattered against the floor. I knelt down next to Carth. "Geezer?"

His concussed eyes settled on me. "You," he sputtered out slowly. "are in so much trouble."

I rolled my eyes and carefully slid my arm around Carth's back to help him sit up, injecting him with another kolto pack. "Punish me later, old man. We have problems. Revan's in trouble."

It was almost as if Carth just remembered where we were and what we were doing. "We gotta figure out a way to turn off these kolto tanks so Malak can't use them to his advantage." he whispered heatedly, glaring at the Sith Lord with hate darkening his eyes. "I'm not going to let him take away another person I love..." He turned to me. "Do you still have your security tunneler?"

I grinned and reached into my pocket. "Never leave the Hawk without it."

Carth shook his head. "I'm not even going to ask how you snuck that past the Sith guards."

Ignoring his comment, I searched around, noticing a nearby computer terminal. "I can try to slice into the Star Forge's life support system and shut them down."

He nodded. "I'll cover you, although I think Malak's a little too preoccupied to notice anything else."

It was true, Malak and Revan were now both on their feet, locked in a heated lightsaber duel. Every time Malak would send a shock wave towards her, Revan would counter with a blow of her own.

I raced over to the computer terminal and quickly hooked my tunneler up to it. Within seconds, I was in the system. I smiled to myself. _Jackpot._

I waited for the upload to finish transferring. Of course, it would be slow. _Come on, come on!_

A loud crash behind me sounded behind me, causing me to jump. I looked over to see Revan Force push Malak into a nearby kolto tank. The glass shattered around the trapped Jedi.

I chuckled sarcastically. "That works, too."

One by one, the life support systems on the kolto tanks began to shut down. Malak desperately tried to steal the life forces of the dead Jedi, but was unsuccessful. His movements began to slow. He was losing stamina.

Revan was gaining ground. She rushed forward and sent her lightsaber crashing against his. Malak stumbled backwards as she sent a swift kick into his midsection.

The next thing I knew, Revan's lightsaber was embedded in the chest of the Sith Lord.

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


I withdrew my weapon from Malak's chest and switched it off. It was over. I should have been relieved, but... all I felt was emptiness.

Malak slumped to his knees. "Im...impossible." Malak choked out, gasping for breath as he clutched his hand to his chest. "I cannot be beaten. I am the Dark Lord of the Sith."

My chest tightened. I was no better than he was. I had just sent my childhood friend and ex-lover to his grave. "This is the way of the dark side, Malak. But you can still be saved. It's not too late."

The dying Sith Lord forced out a strangled laugh. "Still spouting the wisdom of the Jedi, I see." His breathing was ragged and I could hear the sound of his blood reaching his lungs. "I...I suppose there is more truth in their code than I ever believed."

I forced back a sob. I had to try to save him. He was my only link to my past. "You can still come back to the light, Malak."

Malak coughed, tiny specks of blood caked to the side of his mouth. "It's too late for me." he paused and looked me in the eye. "But I can't help but wonder, What would have happened had our positions been reversed? What if fate decreed that I would be captured by the Jedi? Could I have returned to the light as you did? If you had not lead my down the dark path in the first place, what destiny might I have found?"

"No," I shouted, tears threatening to stream down my face. "I'm...I'm sorry I started you down this path, Malak, but you chose to continue with it."

My old apprentice sighed. "I suppose you speak the truth," I could feel his life slipping away by each second that past. He slowly, carefully, laid back on the cold, hard floor. "I alone must accept responsibility for my fate. I wanted to be Master of the Sith and ruler of the galaxy. But that destiny was not mine, Revan. It might have been yours… but never mine."

I knelt down next to my old friend and gripped his hands tightly in mine; they were cold and clammy. I could feel Carth and Mission's eyes on me, but I didn't care. "I'm sorry, Malak. For everything."

He reached up with his free hand and gently touched my cheek. I couldn't stop the tears from falling now. This was the man I once knew, once loved. Not the Dark Lord of the Sith.

"In the end, I am nothing." he whispered. "But I want to show you something before," he coughed loudly. "Before I go."

Before I could respond or protest, everything went dark.


	39. Part Thirty-Nine

_-Carth-_

  
  


I couldn't believe my eyes. She had done it. Revan defeated Malak. The impossible was done; the "unstoppable" Sith Lord, killed by my strong, beautiful Revan. I couldn't have been happier. I glanced over at Mission. "Nice shot kid! But you're still in trouble."

Mission shot me a satisfied smile. "Thanks. Although there's time to punish me later, geezer. I think it's time to go before the Republic warships destroy this rust bucket while we're still on it."

I nodded and turned back towards Revan. Confusion settled over me as I watched her kneel down and grasp Malak's bloody hand. Dammit, I wasn't close enough to hear what she was saying, but I could see her lips moving. Malak wasn't dead...yet.

"What's she doing?" Mission said, asking my question aloud.

I didn't answer her, I just kept my eyes plastered on Revan and Malak's seemingly lifeless body. I took a few steps closer. "Rev...?"

Revan didn't respond, but I could see the tears flowing down her face. _What's going on?_

Suddenly, Revan's eyes grew wide with panic just before her body collapsed on top of Malak's.

"Revan!" I cried, rushing over to her and gathering her in my arms. Her face was completely void of color. Her normally bright eyes were dim and lifeless. Fear surged through me. "Beautiful? Can you hear me?" I whispered. "If you can, you need to come back to me. I promised to protect you and I can't do it if you leave me now. Come on, dammit! Wake up!"

I tried to keep my voice calm and collected. I didn't want to scare Mission. But it was extremely difficult when all you felt was fear yourself.

The young twi'lek appeared next to me and took Revan's free hand in her own. Her other hand was still gripped in Malak's. "What's going on, Carth? Is she okay?"

"I...I don't know, Mission."

I tried desperately to dislodge Revan's hand from Malak's, but was unsuccessful. I looked at Mission and tried to hide the panic and fear that I felt. "What are we going to do?"

Mission thought for a moment. "Can't we use her lightsaber and just cut his hand off?"

I rolled my eyes. "Do you know how to turn it on?"

She shook her head.

I nodded. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


Malak walked me through several dark corridors. I wasn't quite sure where I was or whether or not I should trust him, but I felt nothing in the Force that told me that I shouldn't.

We walked in silence, with Malak leading the way. My boots clicking against the hard floor paneling were the only sounds that I could hear. Faintly, I began to realize that we were still on the Star Forge. It seemed different, however. There were few lights along the walls.

My hands glided against the walls, feeling my way through the darkness.

Breaking the silence, I asked: "Where are we going?"

"This is the Star Forge, which I'm sure you recognize, but before we were able to manufacture the power. " Malak explained, finally stopping at a large door that I didn't recognize. "We created the power on the Star Forge, Revan. We created it using the power of the dark side and with the knowledge we gathered at the Rakatan Temple. But," he paused, and for the first time, I realized, that when I looked at his face, he had his jaw.

Before I could ask, he continued. "But there was one other thing that we created together that was even more powerful, Revan."

He opened the door, revealing a large room, and led me inside.

"You do not yet remember, Revan?" Malak asked. His voice wasn't his normal, mocking tone. It was a real question that held a hint of surprise and sadness.

I frowned. I didn't recognize this room at all. But there was something in the middle of the room…

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


Revan began to shake and writhe violently in my arms, tears streaming from her unblinking eyes.

"Beautiful," I whispered in her ear, trying desperately to get her to respond to me. "you're gonna have to come back to me so we can get the hell off of this space station. We don't have much time. "

Still, I got no response. I couldn't tell if she was even breathing. The only sign of life in her were the tears that continuously flowed down her beautiful, pale face.

What in the name of the Force was going on? Was Revan falling to the dark side for killing Malak? No, that couldn't be it. She had killed hundreds of thousands of Sith while on our journey. The only difference was, that this was her former best friend and lover. Could that be it? _But she wouldn't fall! Not now!_

"Uh, Carth? We really need to get out of here," Mission said, interrupting my thoughts, dodging a small piece of metal from the ceiling that nearly landed on her head. "The Republic is going to tear this place apart in a few moments and take us along with it."

Again, I tried to pry Revan's trembling hand from the Sith Lords. She wouldn't let go. I looked back at Mission, feeling defeated. "Go, Mission. get out of here."

Mission dodged another falling piece of metal and looked at me sadly. "What about you and Revan?"

I sighed and shook my head. "I'm not leaving without her. You're going to have to go without me."

The teenager thought a moment, and shook her head. She sat down beside me, legs tucked beneath her. "I'm staying."

I contemplated arguing with her. Telling her to run while she still had the chance; that she had a full life ahead of her, but decided that my attempts would be futile. She would ignore me anyway, and feel guilty for leaving her best friends alone to die. I knew she couldn't live with herself. The kid was brave.

Instead, I simply nodded, and awaited our fate.

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


_My eyes settled on the bulky shadow settled in the middle of the room. My eyes widened in shock as I stepped closer to it, realizing what it was._

_A crib._

_Silently, I made my way over to it and peered inside. Nestled in a mound of wooly blankets, sleeping peacefully, was a tiny baby. Shocked, I looked up at Malak, who had joined me on the opposite side of the crib. "Is it...I mean...?"_

_Malak nodded. "Yes. He's ours, Revan. You gave birth to him shortly after the Mandalorian Wars. His name is Kye."_

_"Where is he now? He's still alive, right? Is he here on the Star Forge?"_

_"Yes, he's still alive. He's nearly five years old now." he paused and shook his head. "But no, he's not here. You sent him to be trained by someone more powerful in the dark side. We were too busy planning the destruction of the galaxy to train an infant." he paused again and looked me in the eye. "That's when I truly decided to betray you, Revan. I assumed that since you felt you were not strong enough to train a child in the dark side of the Force, then you were not strong enough to be Master of the Sith."_

_I grabbed the front of his robes and pulled him towards me, my voice rising with anger. "Where the hell is he? Who is training him?"_

_"Your mother."_

_"My..." My mother was still alive and training my child to become a Sith. Oh, shit. "Who is she? Where can I find them?"_

_Malak shook his head. "I do not know where she is now. After I attacked you, I lost connection to her in the Force. I haven't seen Kye since."_

_"Who is she?" I asked again, shaking so badly that I couldn't see straight. I had a child out in the galaxy alone, a child who was the prodigy of two powerful Sith Lords. I had to find him, save him._

_"He may still be able to be saved, Revan," Malak said softly, taking my hand. It felt cold; lifeless. "If you can find her, you will surely find him." he paused again, and looked at me sadly. "Save him, Revan. Save him from the path that fate brought us down. Save him..." Malak's body began to fade and his voice, became softer, sounding further and further away. "save him...from your old Master"_

_And he was gone. I felt cold, alone...afraid._

_My old Master._

_I gasped._

_Kreia._

  
  


* * *

_-Carth-_

  
  


The ceiling of the Star Forge began to crumble around us. I didn't have much time.

Revan's hand finally released Malak's. Quickly, I lifted Revan and pulled Mission to her feet. "Let's get out of here!"

I took off running towards the door, Mission hot on my heels. The hallways were completely deserted, for which I was extremely grateful. That meant we could run to the Ebon Hawk with no interruptions.

The floors were littered with the bodies of dead Sith and Republic soldiers, as well as the bodies of several Jedi. The sight was an all too familiar one. This was what it was like when I walked the dead paths of Telos after Malak destroyed it. As I ran, I saw bodies of fellow Republic soldiers with whom I severed with during the Mandalorian wars and countless times after. I was trained to ignore such things, for these people died trying to protect the Republic. Died doing their job.

Despite my training, it was never an easy image to take in. But I kept moving. I had to get Revan and Mission to safety before the Star Forge came crashing down around us, swallowing us whole.

We made it out of the space station just in time. Canderous had the Ebon Hawk ready and waiting for us when we arrived. I ignored the questions from the Jedi as I quickly carried Revan into the medbay, trying to keep my balance as the Mandalorian's rocky take off caused the ship to shake violently.

When the ship finally settled, I carefully placed Revan on the cot. She still showed no signs of waking, but her complexion was returning to its normal color.

Gently, I brushed her blood soaked hair away from her forehead. "Come on, Beautiful, come back to me," I whispered. "it's over. We can finally start our lives together." I leaned my forehead against her ear. "you just have to come back to me."

I heard footsteps enter the medbay and I turned to see Jolee, Juhani, and Bastila standing at the door. "What happened, son?" Jolee asked, heading over to the cot and placing his hand on Revan's head.

I shook my head. "I...I don't really know, Jolee. After she killed Malak, she collapsed."

I noticed the three Jedi exchange worried glances. Before I could ask, Juhani placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Why don't you go relate the events to Admiral Dodonna and then get some rest? We will take care of Revan."

Reluctantly, I nodded. As much as I didn't want to leave Revan alone, I knew there wasn't anything that I could do for her. That was left up to Revan herself, and the other Jedi.

I walked into the main hold and contacted Admiral Dodonna.

"Carth! You made it!" by the relieved look on her face, I could tell that she wasn't exactly expecting my call.

I grinned tiredly. "Well, I couldn't let you start the victory party without us, Admiral."

Forn Dodonna smiled. "Excellent work, Carth. You will be receiving a Hero's Welcome when we get home." she paused. "We're planning on landing on the Rakatan home world before our long journey back to Coruscant so that you and your crew can rest and refuel. We will hold the ceremony there."

I nodded. "Very well, Admiral, we'll see you then." I saluted. "Onasi out."


	40. Part Forty

_-Revan-_

  
  


I was angry. Really, _really_ , angry. Angry at Malak for forcing me to kill him. Angry at the Jedi Council for erasing my memories. Angry at my Jedi companions for not informing me of my long lost child somewhere in the galaxy. A child that I didn't even remember giving birth to. What kind of mother doesn't even remember carrying her child for those long, nine months?

A Sith Lord who shouldn't have even conceived a child in the first place. That's what kind.

Most of all, I was angry at myself for falling to the dark side to begin with, for starting this war. For bringing Malak down with me. Angry at having mentally and physically hurt so many who stood in my path. Angry at having to cause Carth even more pain than I had already inflicted upon him. The pain...I could already see it in his eyes when I found the courage to tell him about a child I bore that didn't belong to him. I could almost feel the pain that he would feel when I had to tell him that I had to leave, and without him.

I knew I couldn't take him with me, as much as I wanted him by my side when I finally confront Kreia and Kye. But I knew it was going to be far too dangerous and I was not about to risk his life for me anymore than he had already done so. Carth deserved to be loved by someone who didn't have millions of skeletons in her closet, and most of which she had killed herself.

I quickly wiped the tears off my face. The thought of leaving Carth behind made me feel hollow and empty inside. Could I really gather up the courage to tell him goodbye? Not knowing if I would ever return?

The prospect of a lifetime without him sent me into an uncontrollable set of sobs. Was this the destiny that Jolee had been telling me about? If this was it, I sure as hell didn't want it. But it appeared that I had no other choice. I had to find Kye and Kreia before it was too late to pry him from my mother's diabolical clutches.

The only problem would be finding them.

I closed my eyes and leaned back against the bed that I was laying on. I hadn't left the medbay since I had regained consciousness a few hours before. I could feel Carth and Mission's worried emotions through the thick, steel walls. I smiled sadly as I could hear Carth's heavy footsteps pacing back and forth in the common room, and Mission nervously biting her already stubby fingernails in anticipation.

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't hear the the doors to the medbay opening. The three other Jedi stepped in, closing it immediately behind them.

They had been coming in and out of the the room since I had regained consciousness after my final battle with Malak, and informed me that we were heading back to the Rakatan planet for some sort of Hero's Ceremony. I wasn't up for a party.

Jolee had also informed me that they had felt my discovery of Kye through the Force. When I asked them, they insisted that neither of them had any knowledge of the child what-so-ever. Bastila had even confirmed that, to her knowledge, that there were no records in the Jedi archives of a Sith bearing a child after their fall to the dark side. There had been myths of course, but no actual recorded data.

According to Jolee, the myths consisted of a child conceived by two fallen Jedi were known as "True Sith;" conceived of evil, born of hate, and completely immersed in the dark side of the Force.

"We know what you're planning to do, Revan," Juhani whispered, leaning against the wall of the medbay. "And we strongly urge you to change your mind."

I shook my head. "You know I can't do that."

Jolee huffed. "Considering that this child was born to you and Malak, I'd wager that if Kreia has been training him, that it is going to prove to be very difficult to rescue and convince him to turn away from everything that he has known since birth." he paused, looking at me directly in the eye. "You may want to think of the possibilities that could arise."

I looked at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

The old Jedi sighed heavily. "You really don't listen, do you?" he mumbled something incoherent about "kids these days," but I ignored him. "Kye was born a 'True Sith,' if these myths are correct. His powers are most likely going to manifest themselves into monumental proportions. Far beyond the abilities that you and Malak wielded combined."

"If it can not be saved," Juhani added quietly. "It will have to be stopped before something happens."

"He," I snapped, glaring at my friends.

"Pardon?"

"My son's name is Kye," I repeated heatedly. " _he_ is not an _it_. I would appreciate it if you would treat him as such."

"Revan," Bastila, who had remained silent until this point, whispered. "Kye is the offspring of two of the most powerful Sith who have ever lived. You are not Lord Revan anymore, and you shouldn't feel any sort of connection to this child." she paused, lowering her voice. "As bad as it sounds, it's probably best that you don't have any sort of mother-child relationship with him. It could make things a lot easier for you if you think of the child as an evil being, and not a part of you."

I stood up, completely in shock at what they were asking of me. "Are you implying that I shouldn't even attempt to save my son? That I should just kill my own flesh and blood? My own child that I carried for those long months and gave birth to him? Is that what you're implying?"

"But you do not remember any of these things, Revan." Juhani insisted. "You have to take that into consideration. Kreia has already been training him in the ways of the Sith, not to mention that it flows through his veins as naturally as your blood. It would be almost impossible to sway him."

I was about to respond, but the overhead intercom went off and Carth's voice cut through the heated air between us.

"We will be landing on the Unknown Planet in approximately five minutes. I've been informed that everyone needs to report to Admiral Dodonna immediately after landing at the temple. Onasi out."

I glanced over at the others, who were looking back at me expectantly.

"I have to at least try." I racked a trembling hand through my hair. "I owe him that much."

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


I shut off the comm and finished my re-entry procedures, and leaned back in my chair, rubbing my hands over my face. I was beyond exhausted. I hadn't slept at all since we had arrived back on the Hawk, in fear that Revan would wake up and I would miss my chance to speak with her. I was dying to talk to her, to hold her in my arms again. It had only been a couple of days, but it felt as if an eternity had gone by.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the ring that Mission and I had made for Revan. The lightsaber crystal glistened in the harsh light of the cockpit. I was planning on giving it to her as soon as she had woken up, but the other Jedi had kept me out of the room. They wouldn't tell me anything of her condition, only that she was "doing okay," and "not to worry."

My nerves were already on edge from the events on the Star Forge, and even though it was over, there was still something going on that I couldn't place my finger on. Whether it had to do with Revan's condition or something else, I wasn't sure. And those damn Jedi certainly weren't giving me any information.

But still, something wasn't right. There was something different in the air, and I had a feeling that I wasn't going to like it. I felt hollow on the inside and the part of me that was excited about finally starting my life over with Revan in my arms seemed to fade. I loved her. I probably loved her even more than I had before we arrived at the Star Forge, with every breath that I took I fell more and more in love with her. But a part of me felt as if I was losing her all over again.

Stop being so paranoid, Flyboy.

I smiled slightly as Revan's words entered my mind. Maybe I was just being paranoid. Maybe, for the first time in my life, everything was going to finally fall into place and I could have a fresh start with the woman that I loved.

I gently squeezed the ring in my fist before placing it back in my pocket. I was going to ask her tonight, after the Hero's Ceremony, when we were alone. My stomach felt as if Corellian butterflies were fluttering about inside of it. I felt like a kid again.

I thought of Morgona, and the many times I had let her down with broken promises to join her and raise Dustil without the Republic in our way. I wasn't going to let that happen this time. There would not be any broken promises to Revan.

This time, I was going to do it right.

 

* * *

  
  


After our landing onto the Unknown Planet, which was a lot more successful than the previous one, which Mission was quick to point out, we began our long walk to the Rakatan Temple. Everyone was mostly quiet as we made the descent up the long hill. We were all exhausted and none of us were really up for the ceremony. Least of all me, I had other things on my mind.

I glanced over at Revan who was looking straight ahead of her as she walked, she looked utterly exhausted. Gently, I reached over and took her hand.

She jumped slightly at the contact, and turned her face towards me and offered me a small smile. I could tell it was forced, but I didn't really mind. She had every right to be tired. Revan had worn herself out beyond her abilities today. And I was damn proud of her. I brought her hand to my lips and gently brushed a kiss over her knuckles. Despite everyone else being around, her smile more genuine, and leaned into my side as we walked. I snaked my arm around her waist for support as we finally neared the temple.

Revan reluctantly dislodged herself from my hold as Vandar and the others came into view, but she kept her hand in mine. I stopped walking and pulled her over to me to whisper in her ear. "I have a surprise for you tonight, after the ceremony. Can you meet me on the beach after everyone is asleep?"

She blushed slightly and nodded. "Yes. There is something pretty important that I have to tell you, and I don't want anyone else to be around when I say it."

Not caring who saw it, I pressed my lips against hers. "Tonight."

She took a deep breath and squeezed my hand. "Tonight."

We finally caught up with the others, who were already standing on the temple's entrance way. Admiral Dodonna stood in front of us, facing the crowd of the surviving Jedi and Republic Officers. She looked at each of us proudly, but stopping to stare straight at Revan. "You have defeated Malak, destroyed the Star Forge, and broken the spirit of the Sith."

A portly man appeared next to the Admiral, holding in his hands eight medals, and passed them to her. "For this, I am proud to present each of you with this, the Cross Of Glory. The highest honor the Republic can bestow."

Dodonna placed a medal around each of our necks. I nearly laughed as I watched Mission beam with pride as hers was given to her. Her smile was threatening to split her face wide open.

When the last medal was given, the Admiral turned back to us. "From Coruscant to the farthest reaches of the Outer Rims, you will be known as the saviors of the Republic!"

The crowed cheered wildly. I could see out of the corner of my eye as Revan shook her head. She didn't like to be the center of attention. It was funny really. When we had first met, I had thought of her as immature, almost childlike, who loved to coax me and others into playful arguments, just to get a rise out of us. But now, seeing her standing here, it dawned on me for the first time how much she had changed since she had found out she was Revan. She had taken the search for the Star maps more seriously and became a much more powerful leader, without venturing from the light. She was the poster girl of a true redeemed Jedi. And I was proud.

Vandar's voice broke through my thoughts and I turned my attention back to the ceremony. "On behalf of the Jedi Council, defenders of the galaxy, and sworn protectors of the Republic," he paused and smiled softly at Revan. "I, too, would like to honor you for your actions.

"We Jedi now have another tale to weave into the grand history of our eternal order..." he paused, reaching up to take Revan's hand in his and squeezed it lightly. "The Redemption of Revan... The Prodigal Knight."

The crowd below us roared excitedly. I could see hats and other garments being tossed into the air. I couldn't help but laugh. This reminded me of my graduation at the Republic Naval Academy.

"Where ever you go," the small Jedi continued, "you will be recognized as the saviors of the galaxy. The heroes of our age. But you must remain ever vigilant. For you may be called upon yet again to defend the glory of the Republic... against the tyranny of the dark side." he looked at Revan again and released her hand. "For this is the destiny of the Jedi."

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


After the ceremony was over, and the crowds died down, I opted to speak with Master Vandar. "You knew, didn't you?" I asked, trying to keep my anger out of my voice, to no avail.

The old Master sighed. "Indeed. When the council heard of your pregnancy, we began to search the archives and study the myths of the True Sith, and after what we learned, we decided we had to take action. I just wish we had been able to redeem you sooner, Jedi Revan, and we could have saved your child."

I leaned against the wall of the temple. The coolness of the stone felt wonderful against my battered body. "I have to find him, Master. Malak has informed me that he is being trained by Kreia."

Vandar nodded. "Yes, I was afraid of that. As much as I would like to tell you that you shouldn't go, I know there is no stopping you."

I looked down at the small Jedi Master. "I promise I will continue my path of redemption, Master. I won't let you down."

He chuckled. "I believe you, Revan. But tell me," he paused, looking at me curiously. "what of your relationship with Commander Onasi?"

My eyes widened in shock. "You... you know about him?"

The Jedi Master laughed again. "It is true, that personal attachments go against the beliefs of the Jedi Code..."

I lowered my head. "I'm sorry, Master."

"Let me finish, young one. Though it may be true, that it does go against our personal beliefs, I believe that it was Commander Onasi who kept you on your path of the light. "

My head shot up. I couldn't believe my ears. "So, you're saying that its okay?"

He held up his hand. "I'm not saying any such thing. But you always were a special case, Revan." he turned serious again. "What are you going to tell him when you leave?"

I shrugged. "I don't know if I can say goodbye to him, Master. I love him more than I once loved Malak. More than I love myself." a tear slowly slid down my cheek. "I don't know what to do."

Vandar smiled slightly and turned to look up at the sky. "You know, Master Zhar and I were always the two of the Master who believed there always was still some good in you, Revan."

I wiped the tears off my face and turned to look at him. "Why is that, Master? Why did you have more faith in me and than I had in myself?"

He smiled. "You always held so much love for those around you. And I've always believed that if evil can love, than evil is not pure evil."

More tears fell from my eyes. I knelt in front of the old Jedi Master and hugged him. "Thank you for believing in me, Master."

"Always, Knight Revan." he paused and pat me on the back. "Now, go find your pilot. I assume he's waiting on you."

 

* * *

 

_-Carth-_

  
  


After everyone had gone to bed, I slipped out of the Hawk and headed to mine and Revan's meeting spot; next to the rock where we had made love our first night on the planet. I smiled at the memory, she looked so beautiful and innocent that night.

Finally, after half an hour waiting, Revan appeared, walking towards me. Even through the darkness I could see that her eyes were puffy and red from crying. She had informed me after the ceremony that she was going to go speak to Master Vandar. Apparently it had not gone well.

"Hey, Beautiful." I whispered as she neared me, hopping down from my seat on the rock. I opened my arms and she immediately fell into them, burying her face in my chest. I hugged her closer to me, as if I were to let go, she would vanish. "Chat with Vandar didn't go well?"

She shook her head. "No, it turned out to be better than I expected."

I raised an eyebrow. "So they're okay with us being together?"

Revan laughed a little. "I wouldn’t say he’s ‘okay’ with us being together. But it’s...tolerated. Surprising, huh?"

I was thrilled. I leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips before moving her slightly away from me. "I have a question to ask you, beautiful."

Her bright eyes looked up at me questionably. "What is it?"

I took a deep breath, and took her hand. "Revan, you're the most amazing woman that I have ever known. You've taught me how to see the good in everyone around me." I lightly traced her knuckles with my thumb. "You've taught me how to trust again."

Revan giggled a little. "That was probably a tougher mission than the Star Forge itself."

I grinned, but ignored her little stab towards me. "Most importantly, Beautiful, you taught me how to love again." I reached into my pocket, my heart pounding against my chest, and pulled the ring out. "I screwed up a lot with Morgona, making too many promises that I couldn't keep. I allowed the Republic to get in the way of my family duties." I paused and looked into her eyes, which were watering with tears. "Fate has a funny way of turning everything around on you. I had so much anger and vengeance against Saul, but in the long run, it was him that brought me to you."

"Carth..."

I placed my index finger on her lips to silence her. "I won't make those same mistakes again, Revan. I promise. " I knelt down onto one knee. "Revan, I promised you a future with me. I want to do it right this time." Carefully, I slid the ring onto her finger. It was a perfect fit. "Will you marry me, Beautiful?"

My heart stopped when she didn't reply. Tears were streaming down her face in small rivers. "Revan?"

Finally, slowly, she nodded. “Yes.”

I let go of the breath that had been caught in my throat, and was certain that a stupid smile was plastered to my face. I threw my arms around her and kissed her with as much love and passion as I could muster. "You've just made this pilot the happiest man in the galaxy, Gorgeous." I paused and smiled at her. "Now, what was it that you wanted to talk to to me about?"

Revan looked down at the ground for a moment before looking back up at me, a sad smile on her face. "Nothing," she whispered, curling her body against me, her face buried in my chest. "nothing at all."

 

* * *

 

_-Revan-_

  
  


I awoke several hours later, my head resting on Carth's shoulder and my arm thrown across his chest. It was my favorite way to lay with him. I felt protected this way, as if there was nothing else in the galaxy but the two of us. I lifted my hand up and examined the ring he had placed on my finger. It was beautiful.

I felt a fresh set of tears sting my eyes. I glanced over at the chrono. It was time. I had already spoken to Canderous and he was waiting outside for me.

As carefully as I could, I dislodged myself from Carth's arms and quietly got dressed. I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye to him in person. Call me a coward if you must. I had honestly prepared myself to tell him everything before he said all of those wonderful words to me tonight on the beach. But my courage was gone the moments I looked into his warm, brown eyes.

I glanced over at his sleeping form, snoring slightly, with a tired smile on his face. _This_ is how I wanted to remember us. Happy. Content. Together.

I slipped the datapad onto my pillow and leaned over and kissed Carth gently on the forehead. Damn, I was going to miss him. But I promised him that I would return. I only hoped I could keep that promise.

I quietly exited the Hawk, tears flowing freely down my face. I didn't bother to wipe them away.

I found Canderous and T3 standing next to a ship he had "borrowed" from one of Republic officers. He nodded to me as I approached. "You ready?"

I shook my head. "No," I whispered, glancing back at the ship. I was leaving all of my friends behind. I was leaving Carth. I would never be ready for this. "Let's go."

  
  


**End**


End file.
